Jealousy

[tragedy 6]

So I have to ask about the another angle' date=' how do you deal with the new attention you get? Someone earlier said confidence = attractiveness and I think we can all agree we feel more confident. Can we avoid or turn away the attention that makes for some of the jelousy without being rude?[/quote']

i get angry ..im pretty sure i can tell who wouldnt have liked me 65 pounds heavier... and when i look irked its obvious lol

[DLCoggin 1,788]

OK, just to make sure we're all on the same page, I'm a guy (Dave) and I've been married to my wife, my best friend and my soul mate for 36 amazing years. That said, I would find it deliciously flattering if a woman chose to flirt with me! Having lost 113 pounds, I feel better about myself than I have in a very, very long time. I don't think my feet would hit the ground for a week if someone paid me the wonderful compliment of flirting with me. And I think it would be the same boost to my wife's self esteem if someone flirted with her. With the deepest respect for opinions that differ.

[LadyLocutus 41]

I find I categorize people a bit now....there are the ones who loved and supported me when I was huge.....and there are those that criticized me for being big and said I wasn't worthy of their time.....the first group has my undying loyalty and I just pray that the second group has God to remove the ugliness from their hearts....people battle drug and alcohol and addictions and yet are still supported more and encouraged more then big people....we were looked at as fat, lazy and often times complacent....now we are Champions and everyone wants to be around a champion just be careful about who you let into that circle....

Onyx

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

Vamp maybe your husband could go to one of the support groups with you? I'm sure there are other spouses that may feel the same way and going through the same things as couples that you are. My husband has went to all the appts with me and now is going to have the surgery also but we have been through lots of therapy over the years....we divorced young' date=' separated for ten years then remarried each other and now it is better then ever...we both realized that being together was what we wanted for ourselves and our boys and we have worked hard together to keep communication open. It is not easy and needs to be a two way street for it to work. Best of luck to you ![/quote']

Thanks so much!! Your story is wonderful to hear! I wish he would go but he's really not all that interested in doing something like that with me!! Did you add me on fb? I can't remember lol!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

She does cheer me on but there are days that she is just in this mood that she complains about everything. It's a huge turn off and a burden onto the marriage. You know we all have childhood baggage but it's up to us if we will let that dictate the rest of our lives or not. Weight was literally one of mine that I am finally letting go of. I wish my wife could see that she is as beautiful as I see her. I understand that for her not being a size zero like before the baby can be traumatic but I tell her if we both work at it we can both have beach bodies one day. I try to be optimistic but boy is it a battle to not get up and go when times get tough with her.

I too am a huge flirt....bad thing when your married lol but I feel there's nothin wrong with a little harmless flirting as long as it isn't taken to the next step! And my hubby too complains about everything some days and it is very very tiring! I so feel ya on that one!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

This is my beautiful wife. I wish she could have the confidence in herself that she should be having.

You wife is gorgeous!!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

My wife and I were going through some issues before I had the surgery' date=' she didn't want to have sex or even touch me. I would ask her if it was do to my weight and she would say no. Now I'm down 60 lbs and she wants this everyday. It does hurt that all of a sudden she wants this now that I lost some weight but I guess I can just be a dude and be happy I'm getting some again. ~[/quote']

My hubby was the same way could have cared less when we had sex as long as it was once a week now that I've had surgery and lost the 80 lbs I have he wants it everyday!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

I know so many couples who have divorced after surgery. My husband got it 2years ago and lost 153 lbs. I am 4months into my 6 month qualification but I never worried about him leaving me due to my weight...I think if youhave jealously and your relationship is not solid before-you don't stand a chance after 1 of you has surgery...

Well we were solid before surgery because (and he told me this himself) he didn't think I could get anyone because I was so fat and now that I've shed 80 lbs and he can't keep his hands off me he is always going on and on about me finding someone else!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

Your 100% right. I know I have done wrong in my marriage. I've asked God to forgive me. Temptation is just so hard to stay away especially when the enemy knows that there is pain and sorrow at home with your spouse. The grass always looks greener on the other side even if it's for a quick moment. But it all comes back to bite you in the rear. :/

So true!! But I believe flirting isn't all bad....it's different if you take it to another level and act on the flirting!!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

My grandma always said "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you order home cooking!"

I love this!!! So true!!

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

OK' date=' just to make sure we're all on the same page, I'm a guy (Dave) and I've been married to my wife, my best friend and my soul mate for 36 amazing years. That said, I would find it deliciously flattering if a woman chose to flirt with me! Having lost 113 pounds, I feel better about myself than I have in a very, very long time. I don't think my feet would hit the ground for a week if someone paid me the wonderful compliment of flirting with me. And I think it would be the same boost to my wife's self esteem if someone flirted with her. With the deepest respect for opinions that differ.[/quote']

I feel the same way!! Flirting is harmless as long as its just that and nothing else!!

[dmariesc 84]

Thanks so much!! Your story is wonderful to hear! I wish he would go but he's really not all that interested in doing something like that with me!! Did you add me on fb? I can't remember lol!

Yes I added you :-) Diane-Marie Seekins Colby

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

How come my husband doesn't find me attractive? I wear hat from sun up to sun down but for the past days I fix my hair & not wearing a hat. He haven't said a world. The thing is I find him so sexy & attractive. He's in the late 50's in my eyes he's so fine. He never tells me I'm beautiful sext attractive. I look nice. Or even I like that color hair you got. I'm always checking him out. His interest is only me cooking & him having sex & telling me your all mine right? Then saying I'm all yours. I can't get enough of him he is so handsome & fine. I just don't get it. I don't want him saying nice stuff when I slim. I wanna hear it now.

I'm I whining or sound like a child??

[pointer 92]

God willing I have no jealousy issues. Just 7 years ago I was in shape and my husband knew me then. So hopefully he won't be tripping.

[pointer 92]

God willing I have no jealousy issues. Just 7 years ago I was in shape and my husband knew me then. So hopefully he won't be tripping.