Jealousy

[lydiajohnston611 21]

Sorry to hear your husband is having issues. Maybe just explain to him that you are still the same person and you're with him because you CHOOSE to be. This process is hard for our partners. My husband worries about my health' date=' but none the less they do go through a lot too. Hang in there honey.[/quote']

Well said! That's something to take into consideration!

[john 181]

I did this surgery for my health . I got type 2 diabetes at 14 because I was OBESE I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life. At 31 my kidneys failed I was on dialysis for 2 years until my niece (my hero) came forward and wanted to give me a kidney. I'm a yoyo dieter I have diabetic neuropathy which I was bedridden for 6 months in 2003 while my wife was pregnant . Thank god my wife has patience of a saint and she is my ROCK. She supports me and I'll NEVER cheat or leave. I may flirt but she knows that about me.

[aarval 89]

I can tell that my wife has gotten jealous. I'm getting so much attention that it makes her feel like competing with me. She seems to feel threatened that she started wearing makeup and trying harder to dress up since having our daughter. I am natuarally a huge flirt. She knows it and fears she'll get NEXTED. We are going on three years married and if it were for her she would want me at 400 lbs like when we first hooked up. Our marriage is rocky do to her insecurities so we'll see how this plays out. I love my wife but it is hard to hear negative comments 24/7. She is beautiful but feels un-attractive since she gained 30 lbs from having our baby. I think she looks good but it's her attitude that makes her look bad. It's all in the way you carry yourself. Confidence = attractiveness.

[stephane0603 2]

I can tell that my wife has gotten jealous. I'm getting so much attention that it makes her feel like competing with me. She seems to feel threatened that she started wearing makeup and trying harder to dress up since having our daughter. I am natuarally a huge flirt. She knows it and fears she'll get NEXTED. We are going on three years married and if it were for her she would want me at 400 lbs like when we first hooked up. Our marriage is rocky do to her insecurities so we'll see how this plays out. I love my wife but it is hard to hear negative comments 24/7. She is beautiful but feels un-attractive since she gained 30 lbs from having our baby. I think she looks good but it's her attitude that makes her look bad. It's all in the way you carry yourself. Confidence = attractiveness.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wish I could like this more than once!!!!!!

[sweet 98]

L0L@ getting nexted!

Hope, all your issues work themselves out! Your wife should be their to cheer u on on this life changing journey. But if she doesn't, you always have us ツ

[aarval 89]

L0L@ getting nexted!

Hope' date=' all your issues work themselves out! Your wife should be their to cheer u on on this life changing journey. But if she doesn't, you always have us ツ[/quote']

She does cheer me on but there are days that she is just in this mood that she complains about everything. It's a huge turn off and a burden onto the marriage. You know we all have childhood baggage but it's up to us if we will let that dictate the rest of our lives or not. Weight was literally one of mine that I am finally letting go of. I wish my wife could see that she is as beautiful as I see her. I understand that for her not being a size zero like before the baby can be traumatic but I tell her if we both work at it we can both have beach bodies one day. I try to be optimistic but boy is it a battle to not get up and go when times get tough with her.

[aarval 89]

This is my beautiful wife. I wish she could have the confidence in herself that she should be having.

[sweet 98]

She is gorgeous, you guys are gonna be the hottest couple on the block! ツ

[shanniepoo1 2]

You have more strength then me. I'm forgiving' date='but only to a certain point. I believe in the saying once a cheater always a cheater,but I guess people are intitle to change. Do you think if he was put on a lie detector test he would pass? I been with my husband over 16 years,and OMG!!! we have issues like no tomorrow,but my cuca is good enough for him,and no need to go else where. I'm 9 days post-up,and what man waits 3 weeks for sex? If I don't give it to him I sure don't want him getting it else where. Since I now lost 30pounds the sex is just getting better. We can't get enough of each other. I feel so sexy & so alive... So wanted.. So needed... So delicious... lolz..

I'm sorry this happen to you. I hope my husband doesn't turn around with his jealousy like before. He can have me anytime so our marriage will only get better. I'm already a good wife cook dinner 7 days a week 3 meals per day,and I'm a good housekeeper. So hopefully we will have more fun when I'm slim. I'm tired of being fat.[/quote']

Mami, those years of therapy, I referred to, helped me learn that cheaters don't cheat for sex. It is about power and feeding their ego. I am a very independent,strong, self sufficient woman and that type of woman can be very difficult for men to handle. Once i started losing the weight he felt so powerless in the relationship that he used other women to give him the ego boost he wasn't feeling he was getting from me. I know so many people who have gone through this, I just want to help/warn everyone!!!!

[aarval 89]

I was 114 pounds in my 20s ... thyroid' date=' mid thirties baby, a mega love of foods that are way too bad and super laziness (ill be the first to admit) put me to 313...but my attitude and self love hasnt changed one bit....

what did change was the fact that I cant keep up with my severely autistic daughter, i had sleep apnea, a d was afraid of dying young (and wiping my own ass wqs becoming a struggle....tmi)

PERSONALLY, I find bigger women more attractive, my hubby never was with a thin woman, all the men I dated were strict chubby chasers and I never had a problem finding men attrated to me.

It would be offensive to me for someone to think that after losing weight Im somehow more desireable....to who? the undersireables?[/quote']

My wife and I were going through some issues before I had the surgery, she didn't want to have sex or even touch me. I would ask her if it was do to my weight and she would say no. Now I'm down 60 lbs and she wants this everyday. It does hurt that all of a sudden she wants this now that I lost some weight but I guess I can just be a dude and be happy I'm getting some again. ~

[armywifet 26]

@aarval

My husband and I are kind of going through the same. He said my fat got in the way and he wasn't attracted to me anymore. That was 6 mos ago. But since the start of our relationship 3 years ago, weight has been an issue in bed. Partially I think it's him and his "capabilities". Before him I had a wonderful sex life and I was still fat. But now that I/we know how much weight I will lose, he seems more into me.

I love my husband with all my heart and know he loves me too. I just worry about the unknown

[~Christi~ 54]

I hope that in time all of our spouses will understand that we are going through a huge life change. I think it might be good for all couples involved to go through some counseling just to make sure that each person is where they want to be. After looking at some things online, its actually really scary the amount of divorces that come after WLS. Good luck to everyone, including me.

[armywifet 26]

Yeah we are going to counseling. Good luck to us all

[pebbles7673 11]

I know so many couples who have divorced after surgery. My husband got it 2years ago and lost 153 lbs. I am 4months into my 6 month qualification but I never worried about him leaving me due to my weight...I think if youhave jealously and your relationship is not solid before-you don't stand a chance after 1 of you has surgery...

[pebbles7673 11]

I know so many couples who have divorced after surgery. My husband got it 2years ago and lost 153 lbs. I am 4months into my 6 month qualification but I never worried about him leaving me due to my weight...I think if youhave jealously and your relationship is not solid before-you don't stand a chance after 1 of you has surgery...