Anyone Regret The Surgery?

[Melsauve 76]

I'm the one on the right the other one is my fiancé. I guess with my hair back it's difficult to see that I am a women:-) maybe I should pic a different pic of just me:-)

[Melsauve 76]

Oh and John your baby is so cute!

[DLCoggin 1,788]

DL you hit the nail on the head!! I think you should be the president of RNY!!!! I love your approach and attitude !!! I always feel better after hearing from you!! Btw I just left my first post op, I'm down 21.5 lbs since surgery and my dr cleared me for regular food....I'm scared

Congratulations John!!! Great job! I found the whole getting back to "real" food a little nerve racking as well. The best approach may be to just keep reminding yourself to go s l o w. Chew every bite 20 to 25 times. Take your time and just enjoy it! You'll be amazed how much talking your pouch will do - you just have to listen. LOL!

[john 181]

Thank you Mel , and thank you DL !!!

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Oh and John your baby is so cute!

I just got to second that!!

[john 181]

Thank you

[mary2008 11]

In the beggining

[mary2008 11]

in the beginning yes but now I'm happy

[missy 6]

I like reading these and value everyone's in put! My surgery is on the 22/6 so 16 days time, I am scared but also very excited! I was a slim child to my late teens! So I do remember vaguely! I have every size hanging in my cupboard! Nothing at this moment in time would put me of, I want to feel healthy and not struggle to go anywhere! Worry if a chair is going to break! Getting something nice to wear!

In all honesty I would not worry what others think of me, it has been my hard choice and journey, people are narrow minded weather your big or small it's just in some people to be nasty! Be thankful that you have had the opportunity to do something about it! Life is to short for regrets!

People are beautiful inside and out (some) I like people on what I meet not what there body weight is!!!

Everybody is different on how they feel about the surgery! I just want to feel good about me, I don't expect it to be easy or a walk in the park. I expect it to be hard and emotional and strange!! Plus I need to keep it together for my family!! I have 4 kid and I want to see there kids and there kids after... Well done to you all embrace your new life and enjoy!! Much love to you all xxx

[john 181]

Good luck on your journey !!!!! God bless

[Panda 354]

I regret the surgery. I'm four years out and I'm perfectly healthy' date=' but I'd never do it again.

There were complications, a stoma (scar tissue made the new exit too small for even soft foods to pass) and a massive ulcer. But after pushing the doctor, the medical issues where all resolved with in 5 months. Mind you the extra cost was upsetting,I never want to purée a damn thing again, and being scared to eat wasn't fun but I worked past those issues in time. Pick a goal, I've reached it, on paper I'm a successful RNY.

It's the loss of privacy and support that came after the surgey that's my issue. Like I've said to my shrink (yeah that continued added expense really bites) I was fat, generally unhealthy but with no co-morbidity issues, and likely to die at 50 but I WAS HAPPY and had great people in my life.

I haven't changed but the world around me suddenly sees me differently. I'm not all that and a bag of chips mind you (yum, chips I miss you), it's more that I'm easy to talk to, approachable. That personality makes me a successful sales person and good friend, somehow it's a bad thing to be while I'm skinnier and in public. I was always talkative and friendly now suddenly it's perceived as flirting?

People gawk at you in a mean way when you're fat, it doesn't feel any better when they gawk at you thin. The new attention makes old friends and loved ones jealous, I've lost quiet a few in the years since the RNY over how other people behave. The divorce rate post surgey is higher then 50%.

I think its wholly unfair and rotten that no one said told me the bad things about change, that people around you don't always accept it. The support system you have love the idea of a healthy thinner you before your RNY, but come to hate it in real life. Had I known how negatively a positive change for me could affect people around me I would have been more careful along the way. As it is I didn't know jelousy was an issue until they were gone. A heads up that post RNY people who rejected you will want to approach you would have been great too.

I really wish I could come to terms with the surgery, thus the shrink, but as I am, no I wouldn't do it again.

You all have the same hopes, goals and wishes I once did, its a beautiful gift - the hope of RNY, I don't share my story to ruin it. I share it because I do regret my choice and wish with every heartbeat I didn't. I pray to stay healthy but to also be happy again at the same time. If my woeful tail helps one of you keep your love and friends I've done more for you then anyone did for me.

Please, just posting this response is a huge leap of faith in the goodness this community, be kind if you reply. I completely understand Mbrock's reluctance to talk, speaking negatively here is like wearing a Hitler mask, I suspect some my think me evil. But you asked for regrets, I've torn open a scar to share, don't be mad when you hear some.[/quote']

As of yet I have no regrets but I do feel your pain. Only down 47 lbs but already I'm hearing things like "...oh its because you've lost weight!" Or "now that you've lost weight the way you eat is boring!" . I very much am still the same person but I find the people around me are becoming irritated because I've adopted a healthier lifestyle. How in the world what I'm eating affect someone else?! . My sister hasn't come by not once since she's heard I'm losing weight. The most positive feedback I get is from my kids. I don't regret surgery but I agree when you say people around you change. And jealousy becomes more prevalent. I am a person of strong character and have already prepared myself for the loneliness I already see on the horizon. Change is growth and a lot of people don't want you to grow when they are unwilling to. My lover refuses to eat fat free sugar free or baked anything although he could stand to lose weight himself. He is totally against anything healthy. Which for the life if me has me puzzled. He won't walk with me or participate in anyway at all. Already I've gone from a relationship to having a friend with benefits. Yet and still...NO REGRETS! I've been fat my whole life now I want to see how normal weight people live and are responded and reacted to. And soon I will find out. I guess its a blessing that I've never married and only have 2 years invested into my present situation. I truly believe the Lord has beautifully wonderful plans for the skinny me when I get there! I am eager with anticipation!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

[Melsauve 76]

Panda it sounds like you are doing great. As long as you don't let the negativity get you down you should be ok:-). There is always going to be those people who tall but we just have to rise above it!

[missy 6]

Mel I couldn't agree more!!! It's sad others can't see the good from it! And watch us grow and flourish and get excited for us! On the inside we are still the same person! Xxx

[john 181]

Beautiful pic Mel !

[DLCoggin 1,788]

As I yet I have no regrets but I do feel your pain. Only down 47 lbs but already I'm hearing things like "...oh its because you've lost weight!" Or "now that you've lost weight the way you eat is boring!" . I very much am still the same person but I find the people around me are becoming irritated because I've adopted a healthier lifestyle. My sister hasn't come by not once since she's heard I'm losing weight. The most positive feedback I get is from my kids. I don't regret surgery but I agree when you say people around you change. And jealousy becomes more prevalent. I am a person of strong character and have already prepared myself for the loneliness I already see on the horizon. Change is growth and a lot of people don't want you to grow when they are unwilling to. My lover refuses to eat fat free sugar free baked anything although he could stand to lose weight himself. He is totally against anything healthy. Which for the life if me has me puzzled. He won't walk with me or participate in anyway at all. Already I've gone from a relationship to having a friend with benefits. Yet and still...NO REGRETS! I've been fat my whole life now I want to see how normal people live and are responded and reacted to. And soon I will find out. I guess its a blessing that I've never married and only have 2 years invested into my present situation. I truly believe the Lord has beautifully wonderful plans for the skinny when I get there! I am eager with anticipation!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

Panda, what a great post and I can't tell you how much I respect your honesty and courage. I have to say that I have not faced any of these particular kinds of problems but there are no doubt many that have struggled with similar challenges. I would very much like to hear from those folks - who have you strugged with? Why? What kinds of solutions have you tried? What was the result? This forum is about understanding and support. Problems and solutions. I would very much like to hear what has succeeded and what has failed. Perhaps some can share with us their insight on why some people react to friends or family who have RNY in the manner described above by several folks. On what possible basis would people abandon friends and family because of their decision to have this potentially life-changing operation? I do not understand. The more we learn, the more effectively we can offer ideas and support to those facing similar situations.