Kinda Sorta Gotta Date! (I Think)

[lessofme 1]

The bariatric nurse coordinator called me today-if my echo & upper endoscopy come back ok on Weds., I get to keep the pre-op we scheduled for 5/16 & the surgery date of 5/22. Holy tomatoes they are NOT messing around!!! But wait...there's more, o_O when I asked her if my authorization was submitted she said no, but with my insurance carrier it wouldn't be a problem getting approved. So is it wrong of me to still be nervous? So many things to think about...1st, dropping the bomb at work! Our HR is nosey-I know because I work there. Don't really want everyone knowing my personal business, watching & judging me-waiting for me to fail-yes, it's like that. And I'm not sure how to approach it. Any tips would be greatly appreciated! 2nd...well everything else like nerves, being affraid of failure, what if I get really sick, lose all my hair (that's a biggee for me), & worse- what if it all falls through and I dont get approved? Dang, that's a whole bunch of whats. On the other hand-this could really be happening! Whoohoo, feeling the roller coaster

[blankmama 16]

Oh my goodness, I've been having the same thoughts. I don't really mind people knowing my business, I should but I don't. I worry that i'm going to regret it and that I'm going to hear I told you so from people. I'm not scheduled for surgery yet but my pre-op is scheduled for June 22 or something close to that.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Don't tell them say your having WLS tell them you are getting rocks removed from your stomach from drinking to much soda.

[lessofme 1]

True, I can say something else, closely related- but its going to come down to what that doctors note says thats taking me out. I dont want to lie, just avoid as much as possible. I started this a long time ago and now that I'm almost there, I worry about getting told I cant take the time off or be denied the surgry.

[KevinsBabyGirl85 364]

Lessofme.....congrats on getting your surgery date!! It's such an exciting time I wouldn't let anyone take away from the happiness you'll get from taking this big step ahead!!

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[DLCoggin 1,788]

I realize that not everyone is comfortable with it but my recommendation - tell anyone and everyone about your surgery. No secret = no problem. You may run into some folks that have a problem with it but that's their problem, not yours. It's a tough secret to keep long term anyway - someone is bound to notice that you've lost a LOT of weight. If you're totally upfront and open about it, the worst that can happen is that someone doesn't agree with your decision. It's not their life and not their business. You can live with that!!

[lessofme 1]

All great advice, thank you. Don't know why I really care so much what others think-perhaps it's that idiot named failure looming over my shoulder... (I went from 270 - about 195 but it took me a year, and I gained 35 pounds back). I think I'll just end up saying I'm "having surgery" and let them think whatever. I did talk to the nurse coordinator again today, she said to discuss it with the scheduler on 5/16. Apparently the notes, if you need them, just say you're having surgery-not what kind. I know our HR office though, they'll make the disability coordinator call and ask, or will research every crum of info on the note. Sheesh!

Oh, I just counted the days-TWO WEEKS...OHMYJEEZ!!!!! Hoping after the Echo and Upper endoscopy results are back the insurance responds quickly with an approval...not telling them otherwise.

[Jen2248 31]

I have told people at work, most of them were really cool about it, just about two of them said "oh I know someone who did that and they regret it", so asked why. Both of them said that they gained the weight back! I replied with well what do they eat, and then begin to educate them on what their "friend" is doing wrong and that is why they are gaining it back. They can not reply and don't say anything negative again about it! Just stick up for yourself, you know what's right for you!

[raquelrdgz 41]

I agree with DLCoggin BUT I wouldn't tell everyone and anyone before surgery because 9/10 will be negative about it and will try to discourage you. I love how the thin ones want to tell me I can do it on my own and that all I have to do is watch what I eat and exercise! IF it were that easy there wouldn't be an obese person out there and this option wouldn't exist. I'm having revision surgery due to a failed lap band but only a hand full of people know and until I'm losing the weight and I am asked-I will not put it out there. I'll avoid the negativity as much as possible. (my two cents )

[LosingItForMe2011 320]

congrats on a date. I guess it could go either way about telling folks or not. You have to base your decision on who's going to be supportive or not the best you can. Good luck!

[Yodelania 60]

All great advice' date=' thank you. Don't know why I really care so much what others think-perhaps it's that idiot named failure looming over my shoulder... (I went from 270 - about 195 but it took me a year, and I gained 35 pounds back). I think I'll just end up saying I'm "having surgery" and let them think whatever. I did talk to the nurse coordinator again today, she said to discuss it with the scheduler on 5/16. Apparently the notes, if you need them, just say you're having surgery-not what kind. I know our HR office though, they'll make the disability coordinator call and ask, or will research every crum of info on the note. Sheesh!

Oh, I just counted the days-TWO WEEKS...OHMYJEEZ!!!!! Hoping after the Echo and Upper endoscopy results are back the insurance responds quickly with an approval...not telling them otherwise.[/quote']

Hi Lessofme

HR has NO legal right to get any medical information from you or your MD office unless you sign a MEDICAL RELEASE FORM allowing them to get info. HR doesn't need to know what kind of surgery, they just need to know that you'll be out for certain amount of time due to surgery and te restrictions of that surgery to return to work.

I would suggest you to then be blunt to them (if they have the guts to ask you) just tell them that you choose to use your HIPAA right to keep your medical information private and that my friend will be the biggest PROFESSIONAL SLAP you can give to anyone. I mean who the heck they think they are to be askin those questions? Obviously NOT smart enough or probably playing DUMB by ignoring the HIPAA law. I found it very inappropriate and rude that HR ask for surgery details, specially if you don't want to share anything w/them. However if you would to take time using FMLA they do need that info but they're HIPAA compliance and thy don't share any info w/your HR Dept.

In my case I did told EVERYONE!!! Why? Well b/c I don't like ppl talking behind my back, and I knew that if I lost all this wt in front of their eyes they would star thinking that I got seriously ill (cancer/HIV or whatever) so I rather cut all the whispering and cheet chatting in the office.

Good luck w/your decision!

[dieseluncg68 8]

I agree with DLCoggin BUT I wouldn't tell everyone and anyone before surgery because 9/10 will be negative about it and will try to discourage you. I love how the thin ones want to tell me I can do it on my own and that all I have to do is watch what I eat and exercise! IF it were that easy there wouldn't be an obese person out there and this option wouldn't exist. I'm having revision surgery due to a failed lap band but only a hand full of people know and until I'm losing the weight and I am asked-I will not put it out there. I'll avoid the negativity as much as possible. (my two cents <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> )

So agree with keeping the negativity away!!

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