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[blankmama 16]

Wow!! What a journey! Mine Is similar. You have to do what is right for you & your health. Tour husband should be happy that you've chosen to be healthy!!!! My husband is completely supportive & worries when he eats things in front of me that I can't have. This was my choice to be healthy & happy. Mine. Your husband should be happy you'll be around longer & be able to be active with your kids. Do it. You can stil cook. It will change your life! Maybe your hubby is worried you'll be super hot & he'll have competition! HAHAH! dde1cdde1c

Hi amy0501, thank you for supportive words. my husband has become supportive. He does worry about me but he knows that i want this surgery badly. He does hope that I'll lose enough weight before my surgery that I'll decide I don't need it. I've lost 15 lbs since march. I'm eating healthier by cutting out a lot of sugars, lowering my calories and fat, and increasing my Protein intake. I feel better about my weight loss this time around. I can occasionally have something that is not good for me and when I do I feel like crap so I try not to make that mistake again. But I have at least 2 more months before I could have the surgery. I'm going to continue trying to lose. I did tell him and my grandma (she worries a lot about me) that if I lose 50 lbs before surgery that I will not do it. My grandpa has promised me $1000 if I lose 100 lbs w/out surgery. So I guess we'll see what happens.

Thank you again

[kellybarbs 3]

Hi. I just had the surgery 2 weeks ago Tom. It's been a rough 2 weeks to be honest but everyone says it gets better. In the 2 weeks I've learned I never would have lost weight any other way. I wanted to go out for cinco de mayo yesterday and if I was just dieting inwould have. The surgery doesn't give me the option. It definatly helps to have people to talk to. I am lucky in the sense that a few family and friends have done it so I bounce everything off of them. I hope to

Donte same for others. If I can help in anyway, let me know. I haven't weighed myself so I'm

Excited to see what 2 weeks is tomorrow!

[amy0501 4]

Hi amy0501' date=' thank you for supportive words. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> my husband has become supportive. He does worry about me but he knows that i want this surgery badly. He does hope that I'll lose enough weight before my surgery that I'll decide I don't need it. I've lost 15 lbs since march. I'm eating healthier by cutting out a lot of sugars, lowering my calories and fat, and increasing my Protein intake. I feel better about my weight loss this time around. I can occasionally have something that is not good for me and when I do I feel like crap so I try not to make that mistake again. But I have at least 2 more months before I could have the surgery. I'm going to continue trying to lose. I did tell him and my grandma (she worries a lot about me) that if I lose 50 lbs before surgery that I will not do it. My grandpa has promised me 1000 if I lose 100 lbs w/out surgery. So I guess we'll see what happens.

Thank you again[/quote']

Sorry you have such pressure you're dealing with. My family was worried too. I know, and based on conversations with my doctor & my previous health issues, I wouldn't be able to lose the amount of weight I need to to be healthy. And diabetes is right around the corner. Keeping it off for the rest of your life is another. Tell grandma you'll take her 1000 dollars to buy new clothes after surgery. Stick with it. Hold strong. I've had my surgery on May 1 & appear to have lost almost 12 lbs already. I would never have been able to accomplish this without the surgery. GOOD LUCK!

[blankmama 16]

Thank you. Not all my family is against it. I think the ones that are are just scared of the unknown. But they'll support me because they know it's what I want. And now that they can see me really trying to lose weight again they know there is no stopping me. I don't resent my family for their concern, that's what family is supposed to do (show concern).

I get nervous about having the surgery. I know people who regret it and I know people who would never go back to the way they were. When I hear about people having problems I get scared. I don't have high blood pressure, diabetes or anything that goes along with morbid obesity. Well I do have high cholesterol actually. But my dad and his dad have diabetes. I don't want to get it. I have a support network on here and with a few friends that have had it done. I'm going to be okay no matter what I decide to do. I've made good changes with my diet and I know what makes me feel crappy.

Thank you for your support. Good luck with your journey.

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

If I was in your shoes I would put hubby on a diet work out together. Stop buying the junk food or do it the healthy style. Start little by little diet soda instead of regular soda-no chips. Low fat low sodium cold cuts-wheat bread ect... It's hard being on a diet & your partner eating all the unhealthy stuff.

[blankmama 16]

My husband royally pissed me off tonight. I'm a student at our local community college, next week is finals, I had a project due today that I wasn't able to turn in but my instructor said I could do turn it in Tuesday, day of our final. So I'm working on it. Yes, laundry needs to be done! Yes, dishwasher needs up be run! We're strapped financially right now so his tension is high already. I'm sitting at the computer working on my project and he proceeds to lay into me about our finances. And how now I'm trying to have stomach surgery because i can't control my eating habits. I know he said it out of anger but it came from somewhere. That's really how he feels, I'm sure of it. I'm too stubborn to cry at the insult but I'm upset. It hurts to know that that's what he thinks. He's been fairly supportive so far. I know he's stressed. I know it's a financial burden to do it, to drive almost 200 miles to go see the doctor. I know it is! He went with me to my first appointment, he said it would be okay. I feel like i should have cancelled the appointment for tomorrow and if he would have come out and asked me to do that I would have, I would have willingly postponed it. But he thinks I should know what he's thinking. Gah! He worse than a woman. For crying out loud, just last night he said its okay because I've been studying for finals and working on my project. He was kind and understanding. I don't want him to be the one doing laundry and cleaning the house. I want help but he works full time and is exhausted by the time he gets home. It's just been a difficult semester because I've overloaded my schedule.

Sorry for ranting I'm just frustrated, hurt and upset. Thanks for listening. :/

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

My husband royally pissed me off tonight. I'm a student at our local community college' date=' next week is finals, I had a project due today that I wasn't able to turn in but my instructor said I could do turn it in Tuesday, day of our final. So I'm working on it. Yes, laundry needs to be done! Yes, dishwasher needs up be run! We're strapped financially right now so his tension is high already. I'm sitting at the computer working on my project and he proceeds to lay into me about our finances. And how now I'm trying to have stomach surgery because i can't control my eating habits. I know he said it out of anger but it came from somewhere. That's really how he feels, I'm sure of it. I'm too stubborn to cry at the insult but I'm upset. It hurts to know that that's what he thinks. He's been fairly supportive so far. I know he's stressed. I know it's a financial burden to do it, to drive almost 200 miles to go see the doctor. I know it is! He went with me to my first appointment, he said it would be okay. I feel like i should have cancelled the appointment for tomorrow and if he would have come out and asked me to do that I would have, I would have willingly postponed it. But he thinks I should know what he's thinking. Gah! He worse than a woman. For crying out loud, just last night he said its okay because I've been studying for finals and working on my project. He was kind and understanding. I don't want him to be the one doing laundry and cleaning the house. I want help but he works full time and is exhausted by the time he gets home. It's just been a difficult semester because I've overloaded my schedule.

Sorry for ranting I'm just frustrated, hurt and upset. Thanks for listening. :/[/quote']

He's sounding just like my hubby. When the he'll dud we become superwoman. Hubby complaining lady night cuz it's been 3 days that I haven't clean wow!! Big f* deal!!

[amy0501 4]

My husband royally pissed me off tonight. I'm a student at our local community college' date=' next week is finals, I had a project due today that I wasn't able to turn in but my instructor said I could do turn it in Tuesday, day of our final. So I'm working on it. Yes, laundry needs to be done! Yes, dishwasher needs up be run! We're strapped financially right now so his tension is high already. I'm sitting at the computer working on my project and he proceeds to lay into me about our finances. And how now I'm trying to have stomach surgery because i can't control my eating habits. I know he said it out of anger but it came from somewhere. That's really how he feels, I'm sure of it. I'm too stubborn to cry at the insult but I'm upset. It hurts to know that that's what he thinks. He's been fairly supportive so far. I know he's stressed. I know it's a financial burden to do it, to drive almost 200 miles to go see the doctor. I know it is! He went with me to my first appointment, he said it would be okay. I feel like i should have cancelled the appointment for tomorrow and if he would have come out and asked me to do that I would have, I would have willingly postponed it. But he thinks I should know what he's thinking. Gah! He worse than a woman. For crying out loud, just last night he said its okay because I've been studying for finals and working on my project. He was kind and understanding. I don't want him to be the one doing laundry and cleaning the house. I want help but he works full time and is exhausted by the time he gets home. It's just been a difficult semester because I've overloaded my schedule.

Sorry for ranting I'm just frustrated, hurt and upset. Thanks for listening. :/[/quote']

Wow! I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. I certainly know that money is a stressful situation. Not sure what kind of insurance you have, but I really haven't paid hardly anything out of pocket. Maybe $200. Bills starting to come in to the tune of $50,000! Thank the good Lord for insurance. I can imagine that everything is at a boiling point. I would bring down the barriers & let him know he hurt you. It probably wasn't his intention, but if he doesn't know what hurts, he'll keep doing it. If he knows what hurts AND keeps doing it, there are other issues. I was married to the anti-Christ & have so many stories!! What matters is you! What you want to do for you & your health! His remarks were cruel & he should know. Hang tough! Do what feels right! I'd hate that you'd have to start all over if you cancel everything now. Listening to your story & other people's, I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive hubby. Hang in there! Do you have a support group associated with the hospital you're working with? May be a good idea to look into it. Best wishes!!

[blankmama 16]

Thank you for your kind words Amy. We are lucky enough to have insurance so all we pay are copays but the surgeon I'm going to is 179 miles from our house so it's the gas that also puts a financial strain on us.

But I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if I really want to have surgery now. I've lost 20 lbs since march 9. I'm drinking a Protein Shake for Breakfast and I've cut out sugars and lowered my calorie and fat intake along with portion size. I want to give myself another chance but I don't want to screw up my chances for surgery. I know I'd love it if I could lose the weight and keep it off on my own without surgical help. I just worry that I'll put it back on without surgery. Or worse, what if I put weight back on after surgery. Ugh! I'm having doubts

[Jessica89 16]

Wow im so sorry girl! That's got to be hard. Im kind of in a similiar situation...my husband is supportive but I know he thinks I should be able to do this on my own and that this is going to cost us some. Were actually really lucky because my doctor is only 30 minutes from where I live and we have awewome insurance....we only have to pay like 3000 all together and my aflac policy I will get back about 2500 to 3000 and I've started to pay on my account ahead of time too. I set up a plan with the hospital to pay it over a year. They are really flexible. In michigan where I live they have this thing called medical finacial aid or something and if u don't have good health insurance or none u can apply for it if u meet the income standards and get aton of stuff paid for. I had no insurance when I had my gallbladder out 2 yrs ago and they covered every penny of it. Id look into it at ur hospital if I were u. Were under alot of stress with money too. It seems like it never goes away. And the cleaning and laundry situation...I say to my husband "we are a team whether u work full time part time or I don't work" it doesn't matter we both pitch in. Although that doesn't always work....most of the time I get stuck doing alot of it....but it shouldn't be that way for anyone. Don't postpone ur appointments or surgery! U need this or u wouldn't have thought of going to this extreme in the first place....like in my case....I feel like if I don't do it now things are just spiraling out of control and I may end up dead or sicker than I am. Do this for u! And worry about the money later on if u have to. Work out payment plans with the hospital...or like my drs. Will schedule 4 appointments in one day...takes forever but nice not to have to drive back and fourth so often for appointments. Well good luck girl! Hang in there! I will pray for u!

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[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Men never understand women

[blankmama 16]

So he apologized to me last night. He told me not to read into what he said and to totally ignore it. He was hungry and pissed and spoke without using his brain to filter his mouth.

Last night we sat down and discussed finances and he explained what was going on in the world of finances this summer. He told me that if I want this surgery he understands and he's not telling me that I cannot get it done. He did ask me if I could put if off until after August, which is fine with me. I am willing to do that. I don't want to screw us financially, especially during the summer when the we all have time off. Next month my car license fee is due, I have 100$ just in doctor visits, not including the gas to get to them twice. Unfortunately my insurance dictates that I cannot go to the doctor for more than one in thing in a day. So that means that I cannot have a nutrition appointment the same day as a pre-op. I was planning on going down there for my psych eval but decided against it because I would have had to make 3 more trips down there.

My husband is a good man, he helps out a lot with laundry, dishes and the kids. He just gets burned out, like we all do. Some days he snaps, like we all do. He's supportive of my decision though he wishes I could do this without surgery, but so do I. I just needed to vent the other day. I was hurt and he knew it. He didn't say anything else cruel.

I love my husband and my kids, that's why I want this surgery. I want to be around for them. I want to feel healthier and I believe that comes with weightloss, not just a little weightloss but a lot of weightloss.

I'm sorry for everyone dealing with dificult situaltions. I know that we all have financial trouble and we all probably have to deal with unsupportive people. Thank you all for your support and kindness. I really enjoy this forum and the people on it.

[Panda 354]

Thank God I don't have one of those husband things! Lol!

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[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Glad everything worked out for you.

[berniec 166]

I'm glad you guys talked and everything is going to work out.