Do I tell?

[H.K 18]

I am quickly approaching my surgery. It became so real yesterday when I left my options class with labs to complete and a pre op appt. ... im so excited because I have truly taken this time to learn as much as I can about the sleeve and the new life style I will be living. I have always been a fashion diva with style most women appreciate despite my 20 to 18 size frame. I have not always been overweight, something that happened once I had a child and settled down in life. My question is do I tell my family, friends, and co workers? In the past ppl in my life have shown envy and negativity with the slightest glimpse of success. What are some of the things you guys tell ppl if you dont share your decision of surgery? For example my mother and I are close and lord knows I love her but she cant hold Water let alone something like me being in the hospital or surgery. My family will want to visit me... any suggestions ???????

[sharonlaff 17]

I chose not to tell anyone except my husband and 1 friend. Just took a 10 day vacation... I am almost 6 weeks out and went to dinner with a friend I don't want to tell. Been putting her off since surgery. We were drinking buddys so I ordered 1 glass of wine added ice and took sm sips only drank about a third of the glass, told her I didn't like the wine (which was true) and I ate what I could of my fish, squash, mashed potatos, moving them around the plate to look like more. She did notice but I just said I am really trying to cut down. She didn't say anything else. Not sure why I don't want everyone to know, usually I am an open book but this is something I really want to keep private.

[CrissyRing77 232]

I'm right there with ya, only my Mom, hubby, one friend and neighbor who's daughter is babysitting for us and beginning to inquire what we need sitting so often for these days for...told her mom to keep it quiet for now until I decide what I want to do. I am the same usually an open book, but the judgement I know I'll face has me thinking why bother!? Still trying to decide for feel of hurt feelings on some family & friends part, like would they be offended I didn't think they'd be supportive? It's a tough choice!

[loveelaura 52]

It's hard being so excited about something and not being able to share it without fear of judgement. I've only told my parents and twin sister. I've told 2 people I'm having surgery and will be taking 2 weeks off work. I've caught myself about to share details and realized either 1) they would judge or 2) not get why I'm so excited . I'm not going til January for surgery so it's going to be hard not slipping up!

I am hesitant to share with others because I was on the other side when my brothers gf let the family know she was having lapband. My siblings were very judgemental behind her back. I don't want that negativity around me.

Good luck on your journey!!! So exciting!

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[baniwala 40]

I chose who to tell and who not to. Everyone had been super super supportive, but I've not told people I thought might not be. If you can get away with not telling people, don't feel pressured to. I only told my best friends and immediate family before surgery and have been telling others slowly after that. If people ask me how I lost the weight, I usually say hard work. But if I think they will be okay, I tell them what hard work it was.

Essentially, it's no one's business but your own. Tell who you want. Screw the judgmental people. You made a great decision to take care of yourself and that's all that matters!

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[sharonlaff 17]

I say wait till people notice your losing weight and then tell them if you want.

What can they say after the fact... I am just starting to get "wow, you've really lost weight" I told 1 friend but everyone else I just say "Thanks!!!". I'm so excited and feel so great I want to tell everyone (kinda) but I really don't see the point, why do they need to know. I really want to tell people that could use this surgery for themselves the most because I know what they are living with.

[Rawnuncut 8]

Its sad when you tell your own mother and the first thing comes out her mouth is about someone else who had the bypass having complications. First off I said sleeve but all she heard was weight loss surgery and instantly spoke negativity. So that is a done deal I will never bring it up or speak to her about it. My husband and children know and my true friends which all have been supportive. Outside of that i'm not saying a word. That goes for work too! I'm just going to watch them try to catch up thinking diet and excerise was all it took. lol I'm so bad and love it!

[H.K 18]

I forgot to mention my fiance and I are on this journey together. We hopefully will be getting sleeved a week or two apart. In his case not telling seems much easier because his family lives in the south and do not speak on a everyday basis like I do with my family. What are some of the reasons that you told people you were having surgery for? I can't use gallbladder surgery as an option because I have already really had that surgery.

[H.K 18]

Its sad when you tell your own mother and the first thing comes out her mouth is about someone else who had the bypass having complications. First off I said sleeve but all she heard was weight loss surgery and instantly spoke negativity. So that is a done deal I will never bring it up or speak to her about it. My husband and children know and my true friends which all have been supportive. Outside of that i'm not saying a word. That goes for work too! I'm just going to watch them try to catch up thinking diet and excerise was all it took. lol I'm so bad and love it!

I have the same feeling about my mother which sometimes can really be hurtful. I don't think she has bad intentions, she just is sort of a blabbermouth. As far as work goes I am a nurse and my insurance is provided by the same company I work for. However, I am taking preventive measures to secure my chart from those co workers who chooses to be nosey and breach HIPAA.

[Rawnuncut 8]

Oh we don't play with HIPAA!!! I used to work for an insurance company (Amerigroup) HIPAA was branded in my brain. lol. Congrats and good luck to you!

[sys81 12]

Everyone is very different when it comes to this. I an very open with everyone because of the fact that they will see the changes going on with me. I know Ireceived support from my fam friends, and coworkers. They all want to help me out with the journey and that really helps me out.

[PGee 318]

I didn't tell people.....my sister & hubby know.....and 2 of my inlaws who live far far away..........Family wasn't supportive when my sister had R&Y, so I know their stance on WLS........I don't want to have to deal with people and their opinions on WLS or the horror stories people feel compelled to share.....and i don't want everything I eat under a microscope.......

That being said, it probably would have been easier just to be upfront and say after the fact what I did...

Good luck whatever you decide.....there's no right or wrong answer......it's your body, your decision....

[soumahoro551 24]

I wouldn't!!!! I hate I did because they look at me like I'm crazy. Saying why? nothing wrong with you I tell them to you maybe not you just scared I might be smaller than you easy to say when you'll 6 or 7 mine is not until dec 16th. If I had it to do again NO I wouldn't tell until a week before then they can get on board or not.. Do your thang girl!!! If you notice I said smaller not pretty.. Lol

[jessl29 14]

I wanted to keep mine quiet but I can't keep a secret at all especially my own. I wish I wouldn't have told anyone but my mom and my husband! I was afraid people would think I am taking the easy way out but now I know it's not the easy way.

[Photo925 100]

I just recently made the decision to explore surgery. I think I always lived thinking I would just figure out weight loss at some point, but years later.....and I'm even worse. I've told my sister, my parents and a friend that it is something I'm looking into. My sister actually had the surgery over a year ago and had great success, so it is very easy to discuss things with her and to have my guru to look to and ask a million questions. I really believe that I don't know if I would do it without her and my parents support and I should also point out that I think my parents are so supportive because my sister has gone through it and they just want me to be happy.....I was never supportive of my sister when she made the decision and I have actually apologized to her because now after being in the same boat, I realize how important the support is. My advice it to only tell people you feel would be supportive and if someone isn't responsive or seems negative then just don't bring it up again. I think weight loss surgery has a perception and until you take the time to learn about everything you don't have a right to judge...but that will not stop people from judging anyway!!