Fear and Loathing in Nash Vegas - an Introduction

[WesLosesIt 5]

Hello all,

I figured since I was making the transition from lurker to poster on here, I'd might as well formally introduce myself. My name is Wes, and I am fat. Obese. Morbidly obese even. And like so many of you, I've been that way most of my life. When I look at myself in a mirror I can't help but be slightly disgusted at myself for letting it get to this. Today is my 31st birthday, and I know if I continue as I have the past 31 years, there's no way in heck I'll see another 31. Or if I do, I'll likely be miserable, and a drag on my family. I've always known this on some conceptual level, but having a 2-year-old running you ragged has a way of pointing out how bad off things have gotten, and how much worse off they are likely to become without intervention. And so, a couple months ago, I decided to seek that intervention.

I hit the books, and read up on the procedures, and jumped to action. I watched my hospital's seminar online instead of going to one in person, not because I was ashamed to be seen in public or anything, but because I knew I had to act immediately, and the week I would have to wait to see the in-person seminar was one more week that my process would be held back. As of today, I have already had my first of three "interdisciplinary sessions" required by my insurance (basically a group support session, a group nutrition session, and a weigh-in wrapped into one), my first surgeon consult, and my psych consult.

Some days, though, I think that the constant forward motion brought on by schedules long since made is the only thing that keeps me distracted from the subtle fear that crept in when I first considered the possibility of complications, or worse, death, that could wait at the end of the process when all the papers are signed. I'm doing this so I can be healthy, not just for myself, but for my wife, and for my little boy, and some days I have to admit that the possibility that I don't wake up from the table scares me. I've done the math, and I know it's the right choice, but the hard reality of trading one huge risk 5-20 years out for a smaller risk with much sooner (and potentially immediately final) results is still pretty scary.

I look forward to meeting many of you in the months to come as I work through the process, and eventually get a date, and hopefully end up on the other side of things lighter and happier and healthier. I want to be here for another 31 (or 41, or 51) years, and I know the first step in that is making the most of my life today, and making the decisions that get me to where I need to be.

[McButterpants 2,846]

Welcome, Wes.

Best of luck to you on your journey. As a mom to a 14 year-old, I can certainly understand your worries about "what if". I've had them, too. I have faith, as it appears you have, that things will be OK and I feel like I'm working towards something rather than fighting against something. My mind is getting more clear the closer I am getting to my surgery date.

I wish you great success!

[nsquared 232]

Welcome to the forum. I imagine you will find many competent and comforting voices here. All the best to you during your journey and beyond. We have all been there, in some capacity and for varying reasons. At the end of the day, we end up here for answers, compassion and a common bond.

Good luck to you and Happy Birthday!

[Joe I 180]

Great start keep your eyes on the prize.

[kvlasy 195]

So glad you have graduated to posting and congratulations on your progress!

[Mel1071 149]

Hi Wes,

I'm also in NashVegas. From your straws thread it looks like you have a doctor with Centennial. I'm one of Dr. Houston's patients. Good luck on your journey. Lots of great info here! Have a happy birthday and just think, this time next year you will be well on your way to a healthier you!

[WesLosesIt 5]

Thanks for the welcomes everyone! I really do look forward to being a part of the community around here, and getting to know you all.

Mfs - Cool, and nice to meet someone local! I'm working with Dr. Dyer. He did my mom's surgery a few years back (an RNY), and based on what she had to say he seemed like a good fit. Maybe I'll run into you at a support group some day!

[Mel1071 149]

I have heard great things about Dr. Dyer - and it must be nice to hear from someone who has firsthand experience with him!

Something drew me to Dr. H - I made a point to go to a seminar he was giving to see what I thought of him. Since I'm self-pay I wanted to meet the docs before shelling out the consultation fee. Fortunately I figured out right away we would be a good match.

I know you just started the process but any idea when you might be having surgery? I am set for 12/16 - getting closer!

I do go to a number of the support groups so I hope to see you there - I'm Melissa btw. Would be nice to meet and compare doctors. I keep getting told Houston is the strictest - I figure I need someone to whip me into shape - literally and figuratively lol

[CrissyRing77 232]

Welcome Wes I am also just coming out of my lurker shell!! I suppose maybe I should do an intro post as well! Happy birthday btw! What a great gift to give yourself, health & happiness! I am about where you are at, tho just turned 32, have two boys 5&2 and I am feeling like I'm missing out on those active things I could & should be doing with them! I have your same fears and I battle that paralyzing fear of not coming back from the hospital to my boys, i hunk it's completely normal. Best of luck in your journey look forward to hearing your updates

[SeaLegs 38]

Happy Birthday, Wes! Having doubts and fears is part of the process. I can't help thinking that your wife probably went through some of that when she was anticipating the birth of your son.

Kudos to you for thinking ahead! I'm having my band to sleeve Monday. After running the halls as a nurse for 30 years with my weight, my body is in such pain. I love gardening, but am spending less time doing it because I have to recover from work and to go to work. I want to climb a ladder to the garage roof to pick some pears off the tree, but I don't dare! How sad is that? I know there may be risks of the sleeve (as there were with the band), and have researched it as far as I can go. Overall I am grateful for the option and look forward to the possibility of a better life. I have found out the hard way that the effects of obesity are cumulative/get worse over time! So, however you choose to address it, good for you for doing it while you are younger!

Best wishes to you, and welcome!

[makingadjustments 50]

Hello Wes, welcome and I am happy that you are taking a step for your happiness and to become healthier. I too shared fears and nervousness about having this procedure done and have done so much research. You are making a good decision and I know that everything is going to turn out okay for you . Good luck on your journey and a day we all will be posting how happy we are about the decision that we have made to add longevity onto our lives.

[Harris1❤ 28]

Good luck and Happy Birthday(belated)

[WesLosesIt 5]

Thanks again all for the warm welcomes! Sorry for the slow responses - I've got a lot of family here in town for the kid's birthday, and haven't had much time at a keyboard. In regards to a surgery date Mfs, no idea for sure. I figure we'll be able to submit paperwork in late November, so assuming some slowness on the insurance company for the holidays we'd probably be able to get something scheduled late this year or early next year. If you happened to have been at the noon support meeting on 9/17 (I think?), I was the one with the 2-year-old running around bugging everyone.

Hope to talk with everyone more soon!

[Mel1071 149]

I usually go to the Thursday noon meetings - I teach from 12-4 on Tuesday so right now those aren't an option. Although I have 10/15 meeting on my calendar - maybe that is fall break. I love the support meetings overall. Love being able to pick the brains of the folks who have been there, done that

I hope things go quickly for you! I'm not going to lie, every so often I have little freak outs about surgery. But between visiting here and going to the support meetings, I feel much better. I've never had any kind of surgery so just the whole unknown has me stressed.

[kvlasy 195]

Looks like there are several of us "locals" in NashVegas. Mfs, I had never been through any kind of surgery before either but the experience was no where near as bad as I had built it up in my mind (especially since I have a great imagination lol). I didn't go to support meetings, but talked regularly to another sleever who was about 18 months out who was supportive and encouraging. Our experiences ended up being different - he had significant nausea, vomiting and acid reflux and I had no issues at all, but we both think it was the best gift we ever gave ourselves.