Permission to rant plz...

[preetyfatchic 101]

Basics first and a lil background : i am a 29 years old INDIAN girl... one year post op... down 105 pounds and still have around 50pounds to hit goal...

Yup i have lost a lot...and i am at such a better place physically and mentally.... just generally feelin Gooooddd!!! So definately something has to screw it up for me

I am not too sure if any1 would relate to my problem because this is preety much a INDIAN problem...apparently its a crime to be single at 29 in India... My parents are driving me crazyyyy... they are usually preety laid back and chilled out people but i guess now their only goal in life seems to be to get me married off... that puts me in a place where i never wanted to be..."the infamous indian arrange marrg jungle!!" ...well its like going on tonsss of blind dates and judging people and worse getting Judged... a Fat Chick HELL...

another thing is i was dating some1 for almost 10years... we broke up last year.. ( non weight/ WLSissues ) so its a lil too soon for me to enter the whole dating / arranged marrg scenario... i love my parents to death but i really cant do this right now...

Just finding myself stuck between a rock & a hard place...

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[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I have many many Indian friends. Most, are strong, highly intelligent, career minded single women in their late 30's, 40's and early 50's. Although it is customary for some families to 'desire' a wedding. Some, when presented with the cold hard truth, often back off. Primarily because they'd rather their daughter be happy, than force them into something that is just not right for them. If you're not ready - tell your parents. Barter for another couple of years and tell them why you need that. 29 these days is not 'late in the game'. In fact, it's positively early. All my crew started getting married in their early-mid thirties. Primarily because they had careers and traveled the world first. I'm sure your parents would prefer you to feel 'rounded' and 'ready' than pressurized and resentful. After all, if you feel the latter, it will show all over your face and make most men run for the hills. If you're not adverse to meeting men they think might be 'suitable', then go for it. Social occasions are no hardship and you never know, you might enjoy it - or worse still... You might meet someone who makes you think 'Corrrr.. He's lovely!!' Hoping you find a middle ground and the best of luck x

[ReDbEaN 654]

The doctor I work for is Indian and his marriage was arranged. To me, an American, it seems so strange. Anyway, is there any way you can talk to them about it??

[preetyfatchic 101]

I have many many Indian friends. Most' date=' are strong, highly intelligent, career minded single women in their late 30's, 40's and early 50's. Although it is customary for some families to 'desire' a wedding. Some, when presented with the cold hard truth, often back off. Primarily because they'd rather their daughter be happy, than force them into something that is just not right for them. If you're not ready - tell your parents. Barter for another couple of years and tell them why you need that. 29 these days is not 'late in the game'. In fact, it's positively early. All my crew started getting married in their early-mid thirties. Primarily because they had careers and traveled the world first. I'm sure your parents would prefer you to feel 'rounded' and 'ready' than pressurized and resentful. After all, if you feel the latter, it will show all over your face and make most men run for the hills. If you're not adverse to meeting men they think might be 'suitable', then go for it. Social occasions are no hardship and you never know, you might enjoy it - or worse still... You might meet someone who makes you think 'Corrrr.. He's lovely!!' Hoping you find a middle ground and the best of luck x[/quote']

I think i am just going to humor them. Maybe go out on a couple of "dates" and see how it turns out... I am positive that my parents wont force me to get married asap...they just want me to "look" ... LOL they were worried i might join a convent after my break-up...

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[preetyfatchic 101]

The doctor I work for is Indian and his marriage was arranged. To me' date=' an American, it seems so strange. Anyway, is there any way you can talk to them about it??[/quote']

I am a doctor too... proffessional hazard maybe ... well actually now the whole arrange marrg thing is preety evolved... its practically like going on many blind dates...till u meet some1 u like n yr parents approve :/ ... which actually is preety scary!! My parents had a love match...they have no clue how to work this... lol total chaos!!!

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[Madam Reverie 2,958]

That's great then! Your parents sound cool. Be spoilt by the men for a bit. Even if they're not your total 'cup of tea'. After all, you could consider it an opportunity to go and buy some lovely outfits, get your hair and make up done, be taken for a nice meal and feel like a princess with no strings attached! Crikey, almost makes me wish i were single again! Can you ask your parents if they'd wish to adopt me?! x

[preetyfatchic 101]

That's great then! Your parents sound cool. Be spoilt by the men for a bit. Even if they're not your total 'cup of tea'. After all' date=' you could consider it an opportunity to go and buy some lovely outfits, get your hair and make up done, be taken for a nice meal and feel like a princess with no strings attached! Crikey, almost makes me wish i were single again! Can you ask your parents if they'd wish to adopt me?! x[/quote']

Lol... i think they have their hands full with me n my sis....!! Thank you so much... feeling a lot more calm and collected ... Cheers XX

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[Arts137 1,811]

Oh gosh! All I can say is we are with you.

[tigerbelle 328]

I think you've got the right attitude...as long as you are enjoying occasionally going out socially, you never know when you might hit that perfect connection...I also have a few Indian friends and co-workers who had what I would call "semi" arranged marriages, where the family "suggests" the partners to date but don't insist, and it sounds like that is the situation you are in...as I am sure you know, of course, a lot of those "arrangements" that result in marriage turn out to be wonderful matches where the couple feel perfectly suited to each other and fall deeply in love...all the best to you...you are beautiful, and I congratulate you on your success

[RoxFC 175]

I have to say that I wish I would've listened to my parents in the past about the type of men that would be good for me. I wouldn't have wanted an "arranged" marriage but I can definitely appreciate the wisdom of my parents now that I'm in my 30s. I think it's a great that you realize that you probably need more time after ending a long term relationship but that you still choose to humor your parents and meet some of their prospects. Hey! You never know! You may meet the perfect man for you...All I can say is just have fun with it...I'm sure your parents will wind up supporting you in whatever decision you make. You are still very young! Good luck to you!