2 weeks before plastics...evolving attitude about excess skin

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I find my self examination on this topic to be very interesting.

In January, I had my 1 year follow up with my surgeon and he declared me at goal (20# heavier then i am now) and that I should consider plastics, I had a fit body under the skin etc. I hadn't really thought about it until then, like I never thought about myself deserving to look good. I got surgery to save my life, not for vanity reasons ... but his thoughts intrigued me so I went for my first consult.

I cried my eyes out... they photo you nude, pull and prod on your skin and point out flaws you didn't know you had...LOL the first one I think is a little trauma for most people. anyway, i started to develop a real loathing for my extra skin. I remember laying in bed and realizing I had a big wrinkle of skin down the side of my thighs... basically, laying on the bed next to my real thigh. It startled me even! LOL

I had plastics scheduled in May but due to a variety of reasons - me panicing over the surgery, my Ex Sig Other (and support person) going through illness and death of his brother - it was like I was going to just implode over it so cancelled.

Over the summer, I just stopped thinking about it. I felt good about my body in clothes and just basically started to appreciate the good things and became much less "bothered" by the extra skin.

So, come late August it was time to decide if I was gonna do this thing or not.... so I rescheduled and went through some real anxiety moments (I am a medical phobe and this is a big deal surgery - Lower body lift and breasts and arms!). At some point, I got my anxiety well under control via yoga, meditation, wearing compression garments and just kinda slapping myself on the face. "Either get over it and do it or just cancel". I decided I really want to do it and stressing over it is counterproductive.

So, the last few weeks as my anxiety is reduced to a very manageable level - not requiring medication or anything. I am actually looking forward to gettting this DONE! I have positive images of how i will look, having a good recovery all those things. I just realized last night, two weeks before my surgery, that my skin somehow seems apalling again. It is like my brain has flipped into gear "lets get rid of this".

Last night i was laying in bed and looking down at my abs, by tummy skin is so wrinkled, it looks like a sharpei dog or something. i carried ALOT of weight around my middle and now that is where i have pretty bad excess skin too. I was looking at the wrinkle creases and they even turned a little red. I guess I flop around so much I don't get skin irritation since the wrinkles get to move alot...haha.

Anyway, I am in a pretty good headspace emotionally, but find it somewhat fascinating that my brain has completely shifted gears into being bothered by the skin, thinking that it really is worth the negatives of plastics and that I am so excited to see how it will turn out. I am actually visualizing the surgery day in a positive "lets go get this thing done" kind of mindset which I have NEVER EVER felt toward any medical or dental procedure.

I am also working hard to keep my expectations realistic, but I am healthy and reasonably fit under that skin so feel like I have a very good chance at getting wow results. I hope so anyway.

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Positive thoughts and prayers sent your way. I find myself very afraid of the surgery but I want it so badly.I to did this surgery for health reasons and at the beginning said I would not have plastics for vanity. Now I find myself feeling I need it. I want so much to feel good about myself for once! I've been fighting this my whole life and I'm no spring chicken. I want to live the rest of my good years feeling happy and good about me. I just don't want to feel like I'm doing it for vanity. But how do you not??

I am so happy for you. I can't wait to see the before and afters! Please share with us your experience. It would be so appreciated.

Best of luck!

[nsquared 232]

CowgirlJane, all the best in this part of your journey. You sound like you are in a good space for it.

[aroundhky 1,174]

"Cowgirl" I wish you the best in whatever you decide! Good luck!

[Sherri297 81]

Cowgirl,

I wish you a speedy recovery with your plastic surgery and congratulations on reaching and maintaining your goal. I'd also just like to share with you that I really enjoy reading your posts. You always put such thought into every single post, and pose questions/thoughts that get me thinking...sometime from a different perspective. So, Thank You.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

You do seem like you are in a good head space for it. No need to hate your skin, it helps keep your insides in! But saying good-by to part of it is also good in this case. Can it be donated to science? (just a thought....)

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Jane...you're gonna do great. I'm day 3 post op for my TT. I hate being in "recovery mode" again.....I was really feeling good physically before surgery. But there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't look in the mirror and imagine what I'd look like without this skin. I'm glad it's gone. And look forward to the day my recovery is over with and I can just get on with being the new me and enjoying the body I've built. You're gonna enjoy yours as well.

Here's a pic of exactly half the skin they took.....sheesh. Double that....alot taken off.

[Georgia 2,908]

Jane...you're gonna do great. I'm day 3 post op for my TT. I hate being in "recovery mode" again.....I was really feeling good physically before surgery. But there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't look in the mirror and imagine what I'd look like without this skin. I'm glad it's gone. And look forward to the day my recovery is over with and I can just get on with being the new me and enjoying the body I've built. You're gonna enjoy yours as well. Here's a pic of exactly half the skin they took.....sheesh. Double that....alot taken off.

Wowzers!!! That's a chunk!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Holy cow Butter! That is amazing!

Here's a pic of exactly half the skin they took.....sheesh. Double that....alot taken off.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Jane, so happy for you that you are in a good place! I'm excited to find out how you do. A positive attitude goes a long way in successful surgery. Best of luck!!

[loseitsoon 157]

Best of luck to you Jane! I hope to be where you are sometime next year. Please keep us posted with pictures!

[FeeIsMe2 508]

Good Luck Jane!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

That is incredible .... it must feel great to look down and know ALL THAT IS GONE!

So, some of my friends have talked to me about recovery.... no horses, no excercise, no playing and running around doing stuff for weeks! Since I am having even more extensive surgery, it will be quite a recovery period. I have tried to brace myself...LOL. Treating myself to a tablet so i can stream movies and TV shows right in front of my face over the wifi. Been thinking of those books I have been meaning to read. I have told myself over and over again that it is "ok" that I lose muscle definition over the 6-8 weeks when I am not allowed to exercise. It may take me MONTHS before I have full energy back.

What I am trying to avoid is the emotional "down". I tend to have that reaction to surgeries anyway - I think it is the drugs. combine that with my high energy lifestyle being put on hold for 2 months or possibly longer... well... there is that risk.

I have been doing alot of reflection, seeing a counselor and have a plan... what else can we do???

Jane...you're gonna do great. I'm day 3 post op for my TT. I hate being in "recovery mode" again.....I was really feeling good physically before surgery. But there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't look in the mirror and imagine what I'd look like without this skin. I'm glad it's gone. And look forward to the day my recovery is over with and I can just get on with being the new me and enjoying the body I've built. You're gonna enjoy yours as well.

Here's a pic of exactly half the skin they took.....sheesh. Double that....alot taken off.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Me too Jane. The down time was definitely the hard part for me going in. But somehow I knew after surgery it would feel slightly different. It does. Recovery is on my mind now....not much else. Yes, I want the clock to hurry up and move. But I feel pretty good about it now....not much anxiety (like I had before the surgery). I put a pic on my TT thread.

Good luck Jane. Looking forward to hearing your progress.

[Chimera 644]

Wow Butter - that is amazing - it must feel pretty amazing to have that gone, well when you heal up that is. I too want the big badboy of all contouring surgeries - belt lipectomy/lower body lift would be the main one - I know the thighs come up a bit with that - I look like I am wearing leg warmers on my thighs with all the wiggly-jiggly skin.

I too have the weird deflated 'ghost-body' that lies down around the now fitter version underneath - its hard to describe to folks who have not experienced it themselves.

I know I will never look like a young thing who was never an ounce overweight, I am way past that - I think the psychological benefit of having the skin physically removed with be really significant and positive for me. Continually engaging in the rigorous work with our WL surgery, the head, heart, mind work that is an essential component of all of this, not to mention rebuilding our strong muscular selves - for me it will be just one part of this experience.

I am so happy for you guys with this next step in the process - I know I have to train like an Olympian to prepare for my own contouring surgery - which will happen someday and you guys are an inspiration!