Do family & friends think you're doing the right thing?

[Mid West 99]

Hi. I'm due to have my op on 10th October. I'm 16 stone, BMI of 40. I'm 41, have been dieting since my early teens. I currently have a gastric band which will be removed at the same time. I've lost weight in various ways over the years and put it back on, although haven't ever got back up to my heaviest which was 20.7 stone. My F&F think what I'm doing is too drastic. They all have weight problems too so understand the struggle but still, they don't want me to do it - because I'm a grazer and I like my wine, they think the sleeve won't work for me. Any thoughts/your stories appreciated :-) Lx

[gamergirl 4,610]

In answer to your question about did they think I was doing the right thing, I don't know. I didn't ask anyone. I did tell select people what I was going to do and let them decide how they wanted to react to it.

All of us had some problems with food otherwise we wouldn't need the surgery. If it only worked for non-grazers, or non-wine lovers or non-food lovers, then there would likely only be thin people lining up for the surgery, right? None of us fatties would have qualified!

While it is true that you will have to limit the wine, and limit your grazing, don't underestimate the power of 6 months of not being able to eat that much. It's a slow, forced re-training for our eating habits, and as long as you are committed to taking that time seriously, to use it to change your habits, you should do just fine.

[Mid West 99]

Thanks :-) I do realise that it's a big step and I'm not without willpower. Last year I lost 9 stone on Lighter Life. The trouble has been keeping it off and this year, I've gained back 6. I'll be 41 at the end of the year and would really like not to spend the next half of my life battling the same issue as the first 40. You're doing great, you must be really chuffed! :-)

[ArnoldS 46]

A few days ago, I told my oldest daughter that I changed my mind and didn't want the surgery. She really wants me to get it. She said that she is worried about my health. I am 61. No major health problems yet except for edema in the lower extremities. She pointed out how I have to struggle to get out of a chair and into the car.

I did decide to go back to my original decision to have the surgery. Not because of her. I realize that this is a decision that I must make one way or the other for me.

In this life, everybody has an opinion about what is right for everybody else. In the end, I have to make up my own mind about what is best for me.

[Mid West 99]

Thanks Martha. All the best for your op. When do you have it?

[SeriouslyChange 319]

My dad thought I was crazy, and my siblings thought the same thing. My dad received a letter a week before my surgery from a funeral home and he thought it was an omen of bad things to come. But I had set my mind to the idea and that was it.

I'm not so crazy anymore they see that I've changed a lot. I come from a family of HUGE portions. And so, it's hard for them to adjust to the 1/6-1/8 the size portion I eat now at family dinners. My dad still over serves me and gets awkward when I don't finish

I wouldn't change it for the world though. I am a lot happier now than I have been in a long time and though I still have body image issues, and half the time my clothes don't fit me (which irritates me when I'm in a rush), it's pretty amazing to see how the sleeve has changed me for the better. I crave veggies and Protein instead of mcdonalds or milkshakes.

Your family will get over it. Mine did

[Allan Cameron 98]

I've been very public about what I'm doing and how I'm doing, both now when everything is working, and especially a month or so ago when I had an Accute Gout attack and things went to heck-in-a-handbasket... I've yet to have anyone give me anything but positive reinforcement. Then again I don't really listen to negative people, I tend to tune them out and ignore them... We are all different in our habits, and our reasons for having this surgery, but once you've figured out that this is your best or even your only open option, make the best of it. The sleeve will force you into some changes in your eating habits (you just can NOT overeat, you try and you will pay for it). But as so many have said, it is a tool, and you will have to determine how best to use that tool...

[SeriouslyChange 319]

And friends. I got a long lecture from one friend who was telling me, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! YOURE GOING TO CUT OUT YOUR STOMACH TO LOSE WEIGHT?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR F-ING MIND?!

Surprisingly, my 2 closest friends at that time are the only ones who supported me. Coworkers and everyone else thought I was crazy.

[ArnoldS 46]

My surgery is scheduled for November 14. However, it might be postponed b/c I'm having trouble getting off of cigarettes.

I smoked my last one today (again.)

[Mid West 99]

Hi Allan and Seriously :-) Lol, yes they will get over it, my sister doesnt think I should have it done but she's being very supportive. I just want it done now so that the noise in my head can stop and I will just deal with not being able to eat in my old ways, decision made, job done. My mum just cant get her head around me actually having my stomach taken away. I think my F&F think I should move to a stage of self-acceptance and just be big (and they say beautiful, lol). But I don't want to be fat, I really don't. And as Allan said, I am happy to do my part, I just need the help the sleeve will give me. :-)

[Mid West 99]

Martha, my mum smoked up to 40 a day for 50 years and showed no intention of giving up - then she said she was going to try electric cigarettes. That was 3 months ago, she stopped overnight. My sister and best mate were heavy smokers too but once they saw what she'd done, they're now all off the cigarettes - just a thought

[SeriouslyChange 319]

Hi Allan and Seriously :-) Lol' date=' yes they will get over it, my sister doesnt think I should have it done but she's being very supportive. I just want it done now so that the noise in my head can stop and I will just deal with not being able to eat in my old ways, decision made, job done. My mum just cant get her head around me actually having my stomach taken away. I think my F&F think I should move to a stage of self-acceptance and just be big (and they say beautiful, lol). But I don't want to be fat, I really don't. And as Allan said, I am happy to do my part, I just need the help the sleeve will give me. :-)[/quote']

Family only wants what's best. I knew my dad was scared for me. And his way of expressing his fear was trying to convince me to not have surgery since he didn't want me to go through pain and "suffering"

When he saw i was serious, and I explained through diagrams what would happen to my stomach, he was okay. I had originally wanted RNY and my dad saw the sleeve before I had decided on it, and told me that he preferred me to have this one as "everything's in it's natural place" my surgeon said the same and as I was 23 without children, I wanted to not end up with dumping problems and not be able to bake with my future children.

[Jerzygurl 372]

Everyone around me has been supportive. Not one negative comments. I'm very pleased with my support system.

[Macy6 356]

My mom had a very old version of a gastric plication type surgery and the old metal band and had a lot of complications. My dad was very weary of me having surgery because of this. He was always supportive but hesitant to really get involved. Since surgery he's been very open to it. He sees I don't have her complications, I don't constantly vomit and I can eat real food etc...

[Goslin 13]

I just got my surgery date this week. It is for Nov 11th. I've been planning it since the end of January. My mom is supportive, but still wishes I wouldn't. Others just ask if I am scared. I'm not receiving any real negative comments, though.