Dealing with "not fat" friends

[diana89131 258]

For me is not my friends its my sister. She is a year older.

When she calls and I am at the gym she tells me that I cant be hotter than her and she needs to lose weight too which she doesn't. She calls me from the gym to rube in her weight loss and tells me not everyone is as lucky to lose weight and not do anything. I went off on her. I told her do you think I sit in my couch and eat junk food all day? Because I don't I go to the gym 5 times a week, count calories and don't eat junk food. She still makes little comments but not as much anymore.

[GreenEyedFireCracker 21]

For me is not my friends its my sister. She is a year older.

When she calls and I am at the gym she tells me that I cant be hotter than her and she needs to lose weight too which she doesn't. She calls me from the gym to rube in her weight loss and tells me not everyone is as lucky to lose weight and not do anything. I went off on her. I told her do you think I sit in my couch and eat junk food all day? Because I don't I go to the gym 5 times a week' date=' count calories and don't eat junk food. She still makes little comments but not as much anymore.[/quote']

Sisters are tricky. But one of my favorite quotes is, "What someone else thinks of you, has nothing to do with you." Just because she is out of control with her emotions, jealousy, fears doesn't mean she has to pile it all on top of you. Keep doing your thing girl and ignore the rest!

[7 Bites_Jen 479]

Toxic people ... That's what I call people like that. Not only when it comes to weight loss, but also life in general.

[ItsMe2033 143]

one of my best friends weighs 137#s at 5'7" which is well within the healty range.. but everytime she saw me.. she kept saying.. she needs to lose weight and that she is fat!

...

and then there is one of my friend's spouse.. who weighs 140#s at 5'6".. she is completly obsessed with my weight loss.. and i have no idea how to deal with it

...

What you have described is two people with disordered thinking about eating and body weight. It's probably not as severe as someone who is anorexic, but it is disordered thinking.

If you can be around them without it being a burden on you (and it sounds like you can't) then be around them and be understanding that they have a disorder. If you can't be around them and they aren't really that close to you then you should just gently move them out of your life. If you can't be around them and they are really close to you then try to talk with them in some of the ways that have been suggested above.

If you choose to talk with them, there is no need for drama on either side. Just have a gentle conversation with them and try to get their support. If that doesn't work out, just gradually distance yourself from them. Perhaps in a year or two you will be able to be back around them without too much discomfort.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

Toxic people ... That's what I call people like that. Not only when it comes to weight loss, but also life in general.

One of the biggest lessons in life is to learn to identify a toxic person they can undermine your happiness, marriage, children and other relationships. You have to either deal with them head on or distance yourself from them. It is a very distructive relationship and will steal your joy. Been there and figured it out!

[skikyd 165]

There are people. Skinny people that are obsessed with fat. THEY HAVE A PROBLEM. NOT YOU. Discount what they say.

Be happy. You are not here to please them.

[bonniefide 49]

Mu skinny friend has been the most positive support person I have. But, she's a positive person in general! A friend you can't share that you had surgery with isn't a true friend... they are an acquaintance at best. The best decision I made was to dump a negative "friend". She was an energy vampire and sucked the life out of me!