I think im mourning my fat....

[AddryW 24]

I know, I know weirdest thing ever. I know.

I think I'm in mourning of my old self, my fat, I don't know something.

It hit me the other day when I saw my skin in the mirror the other day. My thought was "wow. I'm really loosing weight."

I started the year at 272, preop (May. 28) at 258, current weight is 195.

I don't want this to get bigger than what it is. Has anyone else been through this before. Pre surgery I didn't care what changed my body went through as long as I lost weight now I'm getting bouts if sadness, and I'm not even 100% sure why

Any input is GREATLY appreciated!

[MystiGal 143]

Wow... Really can't help with what you are going through, but had to say... You look AMAZING! I think we all go through some crazy emotions on this weight loss journey.

[Roo101769 742]

Speaking as a "pre sleever" I think it is sort of normal. With any major life change, even ones that are for your best, there are some bits of grief. It is change, MAJOR change. You had to say good bye to whatever life you had pre op. You will never, ever be the girl with a complete stomach. You will always, from now on, be a bariatric patient. There is bound to be certain emotions and feelings attached to such a huge change. But, as I have read time and again, the good things soon make us forget all about the bad. Just hang in and live your feelings, but stay with it and soon you will forget you ever felt them. ( I would be willing to wager) And btw- you do look great!

[unbesleevable1 420]

It could be a sense of loss. Loss of the fat that protected you from the outside world, sexual advances, etc. Loss of the person you used to be. Loss of feeling invisible. It is a general feeling of not knowing who you are anymore. I hope you are connected with a bariatric support group in your area, as well as a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders/ bariatrics/ self image. If not, make that a goal for the week. Attend one live bariatric support group, and make an appt to see a psychologist. After the physical work, comes the mental work.

[SassyTink 78]

Life changes are always scary and it is normal to mourn the old you. I have those same feelings, and I haven't had the surgery yet! Seeing your body melt away is a powerful thing.

Are people going to treat you differently? Is your personality going to change? Is the weight going to stay off? All of the changes are going to be difficult to comprehend at first. Keep your focus, your goal is to be healthy. One day you will discover that the old you and the new you have merged into one terrific healthy, strong lady.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIC~

[AddryW 24]

It could be a sense of loss. Loss of the fat that protected you from the outside world' date=' sexual advances, etc. Loss of the person you used to be. Loss of feeling invisible. It is a general feeling of not knowing who you are anymore. I hope you are connected with a bariatric support group in your area, as well as a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders/ bariatrics/ self image. If not, make that a goal for the week. Attend one live bariatric support group, and make an appt to see a psychologist. After the physical work, comes the mental work.[/quote']

Wow. Thanks u

[nikilynne 6]

I completely understand! I had my surgery back in February and I've lost a little over 100lbs. Like logically I know that I should be ecstatic and feeling on top of the world, but I am quite depressed and have anxiety. I NEVER thought that I would feel this way afterwards. It sounds silly, but I think I was more comfortable with the old me, then the new me. Most of the time, I can't stand to look at my body. I feel like it looks like everything is melting. I exercise, but I still have extra skin (which I knew was normal before surgery, but to actually have it happen is a whole different story) and my boobs are basically gone, lol.

Another weird thing is that when I look in the mirror, I see my old body still. I don't see the smaller me, so I end up getting upset - thinking that I'm not doing enough. I talked to my family doctor about this the other day and she said it's actually common after the surgery. She's referring me to a psych that specializes in eating disorders/body image and depression (and we upped by anti-depressant). So...hopefully it'll get better. I'm hopeful that it will. I think that things just happen so fast physically, that it just doesn't give us enough time to adjust mentally, you know. Good luck to you and I hope things get better!! Thanks for sharing your story!

[ldoyle 8]

From what I understand what you are feeling is actually quite common. My niece went through it bad. It was something I worried about getting. I kind of link it to post partum depression, when you have had a major life change, and in reality have never been happier, but had an indescribable feeling of sadness.

[buplee 556]

I completely understand! I had my surgery back in February and I've lost a little over 100lbs. Like logically I know that I should be ecstatic and feeling on top of the world' date=' but I am quite depressed and have anxiety. I NEVER thought that I would feel this way afterwards. It sounds silly, but I think I was more comfortable with the old me, then the new me. Most of the time, I can't stand to look at my body. I feel like it looks like everything is melting. I exercise, but I still have extra skin (which I knew was normal before surgery, but to actually have it happen is a whole different story) and my boobs are basically gone, lol. Another weird thing is that when I look in the mirror, I see my old body still. I don't see the smaller me, so I end up getting upset - thinking that I'm not doing enough. I talked to my family doctor about this the other day and she said it's actually common after the surgery. She's referring me to a psych that specializes in eating disorders/body image and depression (and we upped by anti-depressant). So...hopefully it'll get better. I'm hopeful that it will. I think that things just happen so fast physically, that it just doesn't give us enough time to adjust mentally, you know. Good luck to you and I hope things get better!! Thanks for sharing your story![/quote']

I completely understand how you feel as I also was sleeved in February and have lost 95lbs. However, I also still see my old body which makes it tough for me as well. Everyone tells me how great I look but it is hard for me to believe it because I don't feel it. I know I am wearing a smaller size and I am lighter than I have been in 30 years but my body image is awful. I don't want the old me back but I would like feel like I have accomplished something. My nut and doctor also told me it is normal for me to feel this way. However, I hope that changes soon. Good luck to everyone on your respective journeys.

.

[AddryW 24]

From what I understand what you are feeling is actually quite common. My niece went through it bad. It was something I worried about getting. I kind of link it to post partum depression' date=' when you have had a major life change, and in reality have never been happier, but had an indescribable feeling of sadness.[/quote']

I connect with what you said regarding an indescribable feeling of sadness. I wasn't able to pinpoint what I've been feeling

[ArnoldS 46]

This post reminds me of other post-ops that I've read on here.

They say that they felt depressed after the surgery.

Then they go on to say that the feeling left them and that if they had to do the surgery all over again, that they would.

I'm still pre-op. But, I keep reading and taking this all in, just in case I go through it.

I hope this helps. And, thank you for posting. Let us all know how you are doing further on down the road.

Hugs.

[FRED1977 186]

I guess its just human nature change is always hard for all of us. Thanks for sharing

[ldoyle 8]

This post reminds me of other post-ops that I've read on here.

They say that they felt depressed after the surgery.

Then they go on to say that the feeling left them and that if they had to do the surgery all over again, that they would.

I'm still pre-op. But, I keep reading and taking this all in, just in case I go through it.

Oh Yes! I should have said that as well! This is totally temporary!!!! It will go away soon.

I hope this helps. And, thank you for posting. Let us all know how you are doing further on down the road.

Hugs.

[Fabsfluff 15]

It could be a sense of loss. Loss of the fat that protected you from the outside world' date=' sexual advances, etc. Loss of the person you used to be. Loss of feeling invisible. It is a general feeling of not knowing who you are anymore. I hope you are connected with a bariatric support group in your area, as well as a psychologist that specializes in eating disorders/ bariatrics/ self image. If not, make that a goal for the week. Attend one live bariatric support group, and make an appt to see a psychologist. After the physical work, comes the mental work.[/quote']

This post and this response is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I started at 273...on top of the world, 3 months later I'm 223 and feel like I'm on the brink of a meltdown. Nothing is "normal" I can't be Me anymore. There's always some discussion about how good I look NOW. ..which makes me think I used to look REALLY BAD. And what's under my clothes is DISASTROUS right now. So I'm still super insecure, I always feel like I'm hiding some shameful secret. From people That don't know I had surgery...that. From people that know I have...that my naked body now looks like a pool of chocolate pudding. If everyone would just pretend that nothing ever happened. This transition would be a lot easier. Lol

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[AddryW 24]

This post and this response is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I started at 273...on top of the world' date=' 3 months later I'm 223 and feel like I'm on the brink of a meltdown. Nothing is "normal" I can't be Me anymore. There's always some discussion about how good I look NOW. ..which makes me think I used to look REALLY BAD. And what's under my clothes is DISASTROUS right now. So I'm still super insecure, I always feel like I'm hiding some shameful secret. From people That don't know I had surgery...that. From people that know I have...that my naked body now looks like a pool of chocolate pudding. If everyone would just pretend that nothing ever happened. This transition would be a lot easier. Lol Sent from my iPhone using VST[/quote']

I totally get you. Trust me I'm so grateful for this surgery I would do it again in a heartbeat. I just never knew I was so horrible with compliments. I don't know what to do or how to react. And in the back of my head all I can think is "if u could only see under these clothes!" lol

I guess I'm being a scary cat, it's like I'm almost out of my comfort zone. Before surgery i hated looking in the mirror and I could be the first to tell me my vision was myself was very distorted. I saw myself back then the way I look now. Seriously. I felt like no one could see how fat I was if I tried to hide it with clothes.

Crazy I know.

I do hope this craziness goes away. I've found myself picking up pieces of chocolate, pizza, or chips. And it needs to stop.

Thx for hearing me out!!