jmacvgs 23 Posted September 24, 2013 My BIL had a lap band done last November so he's not even a year out and he hasn't lost that much weight (IMO). He was telling me (horror) stories about his experience. Then, started listing foods that didn't sit well with him and I was absolutely horrified! Not because they didn't sit well, but because he would even eat them in the first place! Hamburger and hot dog Buns pizza carrot cake chocolate milk (2% because he can't stomach the lower fat ones) That's just to name a few. I wouldn't DARE eat a hamburger or hot dog roll, that's insanity! What a waste of tummy space, calories and carbs for a day! I was honestly appalled. No wonder he's not losing weight! I'm only a month out, but am cleared for a "normal" diet, but in that month I've already ingrained in my head that there are foods that will not touch my lips ever again, especially less than a year out. My husband was so proud of me this weekend. We attended a birthday party with tons of yummy foods and Desserts and I didn't cheat AT ALL! I barely paid them any mind. To me, eating something unhealthy has the same effect on me as cursing in front of my parents did as a teenager. It's just trouble-nothing good comes of it. lol 7 gmanbat, meamo, clmsntgrgrl and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arts137 1,811 Posted September 24, 2013 Brilliant. Parties and activies do not need to have food as the guest of honor. I was at a beer festival last weekend with friends fron HS (and I graduated in '67) and had a ball with them while drinking only Water. I felt good, not bad! And for fuel, it's Protein, veggies first. Other stuff a distant third... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roo101769 742 Posted September 24, 2013 I have a friend ( more of an acquaintance) who is exactly the same as your BIL. She used my surgeon for her lap band and tried very hard to get me to not use him. She claims he has horrible bed side manners and never really explained to her how to live with her band. Well...first of all I have already met the surgeon. He was quite pleasant and personable in my opinion. Second, in this day and age of technology do you REALLY need your doctor to hold your hand and explain every last detail of what you are doing? To be fair I will say maybe in the older segment of the population, one not as familiar or comfortable with the internet, that may be true. But this girl is younger than I am and is little Miss Social Media, so trust me, she knows how to use a computer!!! But the biggest reason she has failed has been HERSELF. She is about three years out and I would peg her to be at least 250lbs. Granted, she did have a pregnancy in those years and gave birth to twins. But they are over a year old now. She has had time to lose weight. But I have seen how she eats. Went to a social function with her once and, had I not known she was banded, would have never guessed she ever had WLS. She ate nachos, potato skins, poppers etc. Deep fried and full of FAT and CALORIES. And it was the surgeon who failed her? Really?? I think there are just those individuals who believe WLS of any form is the easy way to lose weight. They believe it is magic and they have to do nothing and the pounds will just melt away...Except they are still heavy. The spent all the time and money and went through surgery for nothing. That type of person needs some serious counseling to get right with reality!!! BTW- GOOD FOR YOU! Keep up with working the plan and be a skinny, healthy success!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanbat 5,889 Posted September 24, 2013 I have relatives that visit and which I visit who are from a different part of the country. When they come here to Florida their emphasis is not on the multitude of activities and fun stuff available here but....restaurants. When I visit them the main activity is....yup...restaurants. food..in the center..special places that serve food, exotic food...great views while you have food...designer food...status symbol food...on and on. Wife and I eat 10 bites and are done. The rest of the time we watch it go down their necks and limit our conversation so as not to get food spat at us. When they have sufficiently stretched their bellies the lethargy sets in and we have to deal with their groggy responses. As such I once was. Be grateful that you've retired from the trough. 3 1gorgeousgodzilla, Flutterby and Gardengirl reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Itsme! 98 Posted September 24, 2013 Bariatric Surgery doesn't change brains. We (should) all know that. I hope you are respectful and kind to your BIL. He's obviously struggling. Just keep modeling good choices and don't be judgmental. I have a coworker with a band and her "work arounds" with her band was what influenced me to go the sleeve route. She's gained weight, I've lost 95 pounds since starting this whole adventure last November. She sees my success and is talking about a band to sleeve revision. I dread her struggle she'll have if she does this since she's a full fledged food addict. But I concentrate on me. That's all I have time and energy to do right now, but whatever choices she makes I'll still support her. 4 OKSleever, AngiD, 1gorgeousgodzilla and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OKSleever 144 Posted September 24, 2013 I agree with the previous poster; I hope you are much kinder to your BIL in real life than you were in this post. I'm glad things are going well for you, but you're a month post op! Most people don't start down the pizza and hamburger path a month out when food is still fairly repulsive. You will face many challenges along your weight loss journey, and I hope you continue to face them with the same determination you have today. But if you don't, if you make a bad choice, I hope you are kinder and more forgiving of yourself than you have been of your BIL. 8 1gorgeousgodzilla, AngiD, iontash and 5 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jmacvgs 23 Posted September 24, 2013 Bariatric Surgery doesn't change brains. We (should) all know that. I hope you are respectful and kind to your BIL. He's obviously struggling. Just keep modeling good choices and don't be judgmental. I have a coworker with a band and her "work arounds" with her band was what influenced me to go the sleeve route. She's gained weight, I've lost 95 pounds since starting this whole adventure last November. She sees my success and is talking about a band to sleeve revision. I dread her struggle she'll have if she does this since she's a full fledged food addict. But I concentrate on me. That's all I have time and energy to do right now, but whatever choices she makes I'll still support her. Bariatric Surgery doesn't change brains. We (should) all know that. I hope you are respectful and kind to your BIL. He's obviously struggling. Just keep modeling good choices and don't be judgmental. I have a coworker with a band and her "work arounds" with her band was what influenced me to go the sleeve route. She's gained weight, I've lost 95 pounds since starting this whole adventure last November. She sees my success and is talking about a band to sleeve revision. I dread her struggle she'll have if she does this since she's a full fledged food addict. But I concentrate on me. That's all I have time and energy to do right now, but whatever choices she makes I'll still support her. I didn't say a peep when he was rambling on. Just listened and threw in some, "Oh, interesting" and "uh huh". What gets me is he doesn't see anything wrong with the way he eats, in fact, he was encouraging me to smush down the hamburger roll as it took up less room in the pouch. I won't go near white bread, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I appreciate all the support I receive from this site. I scour the boards looking for information, tips and inspiration, but I was sincerely looking forward to actually speaking with someone who was familiar with WLS. It was so disconcerting to listen to him talk though. He said he went through 6 months of classes with a nutritionist before his surgery. Did he learn nothing in those classes? I just can't understand why? Why do people go through a surgery and dramatically change their diets only to sabotage their success? My surgeon doesn't even perform lap bands anymore. Says there are too many complications that arise and that it's too easy to cheat with it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marfar7 1,533 Posted September 24, 2013 I'm 12 wks out and eat EVERYTHING including bread. I can eat maybe 4 bites of a burger. I got wls so I would never have to diet again. I'm still losing. Some of us r carb watchers, some watch calories. Some listen to their bodies and don't count anything. I hate counting carbs (was on Atkins Induction last Feb and would've killed my mom for a cookie). I'm still losing. Slowly (started after my revision at 174 so I knew Id lose it slower) but losing nonetheless. Id rather be happy and losing slower than miserable watching everything I put in my mought and losing faster. I don't think I eat enuf of anything (maybe 4 bites from a burger or sandwich, 4 bites of mashed potatoes, 6 fries, maybe 5 bites of pizza, etc) to go overboard on the unhealthy food. I eat Protein. I eat veggies. And I'm not afraid to eat bread, rice, potatoes, and Pasta. This is for the rest of my life and I would be very sad if I couldn't ever have those things again. Even if it was my choice. For those of u who say that wls was a "lifestyle cnoice" and that we should eat nothing but meat and veggies with our food enjoyment coming from an occasional pc of fruit - I say boo. While food is fuel, its also enjoyment, no matter what u tell urself now. I wouldn't enjoy myself if I never ate the foods I actually enjoy. The surgery didn't change my food tastes, still luv pizza, tacos, and fries. The surgery changed my pprtion sizes and that's why I went for the sleeve (and before it, the band) over the RNY. Whatever way u eat that will take u to goal is the way u should do it. I choose to not obsess over every bite of food I put into my mouth. Thank God my sleeve only allows me to eat very small portions!!! 6 gracensmommie, Madam Reverie, bethnc1970 and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diannepj1960 28 Posted September 24, 2013 It's sad for people to go through all that an don't change there eating habits,just sad,i went through to much to gain all the weight back..i know someone had the bypass and her weight is coming back.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arts137 1,811 Posted September 25, 2013 I'm 12 wks out and eat EVERYTHING including bread. I can eat maybe 4 bites of a burger. I got wls so I would never have to diet again. I'm still losing. Some of us r carb watchers, some watch calories. Some listen to their bodies and don't count anything. I hate counting carbs (was on Atkins Induction last Feb and would've killed my mom for a cookie). I'm still losing. Slowly (started after my revision at 174 so I knew Id lose it slower) but losing nonetheless. Id rather be happy and losing slower than miserable watching everything I put in my mought and losing faster. I don't think I eat enuf of anything (maybe 4 bites from a burger or sandwich, 4 bites of mashed potatoes, 6 fries, maybe 5 bites of pizza, etc) to go overboard on the unhealthy food. I eat Protein. I eat veggies. And I'm not afraid to eat bread, rice, potatoes, and Pasta. This is for the rest of my life and I would be very sad if I couldn't ever have those things again. Even if it was my choice. For those of u who say that wls was a "lifestyle cnoice" and that we should eat nothing but meat and veggies with our food enjoyment coming from an occasional pc of fruit - I say boo. While food is fuel, its also enjoyment, no matter what u tell urself now. I wouldn't enjoy myself if I never ate the foods I actually enjoy. The surgery didn't change my food tastes, still luv pizza, tacos, and fries. The surgery changed my pprtion sizes and that's why I went for the sleeve (and before it, the band) over the RNY. Whatever way u eat that will take u to goal is the way u should do it. I choose to not obsess over every bite of food I put into my mouth. Thank God my sleeve only allows me to eat very small portions!!! Best of luck, and I mean it. If this works for you as your lifestyle then WONDERFUL. I suggest, however, for most of us this is not the way to bet... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iontash 25 Posted September 26, 2013 Let's not be too judgmental here. After all most of us here were once stuffing our faces with deep fried fat and burgers and other bad foods... which is how we got to the point of needing WLS. Just because you have changed your way of thinking does not give you the right to look down on others who are still stuck. We have all been looked at and judged to be "less than" because of our weight at one time or another. And there are those who will still look down on us for having surgery instead of loosing the weight with no assistance. Don't look down on someone who is still where most of us once were. highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 169 DOS was May 7th 2013 2 Madam Reverie and 1gorgeousgodzilla reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arts137 1,811 Posted September 26, 2013 Let's not be too judgmental here. After all most of us here were once stuffing our faces with deep fried fat and burgers and other bad foods... which is how we got to the point of needing WLS. Just because you have changed your way of thinking does not give you the right to look down on others who are still stuck. We have all been looked at and judged to be "less than" because of our weight at one time or another. And there are those who will still look down on us for having surgery instead of loosing the weight with no assistance. Don't look down on someone who is still where most of us once were. highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 169 DOS was May 7th 2013 Not looking down on anyone (ever)... we ALL have our own crosses to bear. But on this board I balance heartfelt support with brutal truth. If we fat folks can't be honest with other fat folks... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madam Reverie 2,958 Posted September 26, 2013 I don't like the tone of this thread, at all.... Whether intentional or not, the air is thick with self righteousness. <closes the door behind her> 3 gracensmommie, 1gorgeousgodzilla and BlueClementine reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites