Jealous Friend

[BAMAGIRL13 20]

Has anyone pre op or post op had trouble with friends being jealous about surgery? I guess that's what it is.....my best friend won't talk to me about surgery. I don't talk about it very often but when I do she changes the subject. She is overweight but not morbidly. I am worried about our friendship after surgery. I know ppl can say "she really isn't your friend" but she is! Has anyone else approached friends with the same situation?

[gomekast 559]

I've got one friend who I know is jealous because she flat out told me so. I've been keeping my distance because it's become such an issue that I'd rather not talk to her for now.

Hope your situation gets better. Losing a fried over this is no fun.

[BAMAGIRL13 20]

: ( I hope I don't....she is my best friend.

[unbesleevable1 420]

This is HER stuff, not yours. It's her choice how she deals with it. You, as her friend, have given her the information, and allowed her to be supportive, or not. People really show you who they are, especially though a major life change like this.

You could also consider talking to her in a non-threatening way and just sharing what you're perceiving as jealousy. Say, "I feel like you are upset by this surgery, and if you want to talk about it, I am willing. I value your friendship" or something like that. If you're not sure what she's feeling, give her the opportunity to express that.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I have one very close friend that won't talk to me about my surgery or weight loss either. In her case, I don't believe it to be jealousy, but rather her not wanting to deal with her own weight issue. She's not morbidly obese, but definitely overweight. She is a long-time, dear friend, so if I need support, I just don't look to her, I find it elsewhere.

Thankfully, she is not my only means of support, so I can let this go.

[BAMAGIRL13 20]

She is my best friend. I have other means of support through other friendships. I just hate that I am going to possibly lose my best friend for doing something for me and my health. Just hurt and confused.

[Sofficial 162]

She is my best friend. I have other means of support through other friendships. I just hate that I am going to possibly lose my best friend for doing something for me and my health. Just hurt and confused.

I don't think this situation is serious enough to lose a good friend over. I too believe my best friend is fearful of me having this surgery, because just like your friend she gets quiet whenever I bring up having the surgery, she shows no interest in it AT ALL. She's thin and she's always getting all the attention, so yeah I believe this worries her. I think her cousin had WLS ( but mumming the word ), so she knows how effective this surgery is. But I don't let that get in the way of our friendship, we just took our kids to zoo this past weekend and I just didn't bring it up, we had plenty of other things talk about and we still enjoyed each others company and had fun. I won't let this situation define our relationship, not saying that you are, but yeah I definitely know how you feel.

[elisa123 31]

That's why i didn't tell anyone! That way nobody could tell anyone else and they wont be as jelous.

[Mrswynter22 38]

Yes I pretty much kept it to myself, only my husband and kids know. But when I start losing weight and someone ask how I will tell them lol

[danpantz 64]

My friends always bring it up. I really hate talking about it with strangers. This is who i am now, i dont want to think about how i was before.