Have I tried HARD ENOUGH?

[EarthyGoalie 253]

Hello all, as you can probably tell, I'm new to this forum! I just spoke to my doctor today, and will be going through with the sleeve surgery. And I am very excited about this new commitment that I have made, and I must also say that I have been lurking around here for a while before signing up and you guys helped me reach my decision by reading your experiences, your advice, your success stories, and your struggles! But I can't deny that there's a small part of me that wonders "Did I try hard enough before giving in to surgery?"... I'm 25 years old, my BMI is 39. I must also say that I have been struggling, like most of you, with my weight for most of my life, and had become an expert at yo-yo dieting. But everytime I would lose 10 pounds, I'd gain back 20. I remember reaching 200 and doing a diet to lose the weight and told myself "I'll never get to 200 again!!" But look at me now... *sigh*... I do have PCOS, Insulin Resistance, but I also recognize that I have a food addiction and I do overeat... I understand that I HAVE to make lifelong changes with this surgery, and I am committed to that, because I'm tired of being short of breath, tired of being tired after simply walking from my car to my class, tired of feeling like fat will strangle me in my sleep, tired of being obsessed with bad food, diet coke! etc... But as I said, I've read stories from people who have a much higher BMI, and who are much older than me, so I can't help but think "maybe I could try once more, maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe I lack enough will power to do this on my own... Some people I thought were friends have told me that I'm pathetic to go for this surgery because "all I have to do is keep taking my metformin, eat super healthy, and exercise!" They make it seem so easy, but it is so hard for me.... :-( It was really hurtful and made me feel like a loser that they made those comments... Gee, thanks, "friends"... So do any of you have any advice? I know I will need to start seeing a therapist to talk about my addiction... Have any of you experienced any similar moments?

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Do what's best for you. True friends will understand why this matters to you, they will see the struggle you have had and will want to help you find a way forward.

"Friends" who are full of great ideas - eat less, eat healthy and take your drugs" - have probably never been in your shoes. At the end of the day, it's you who wakes up in the morning to deal with your weight and related issues and you who goes to sleep at night still thinking about them. So whilst everyone can have an opinion, there's only one that truly matters - yours.

Everyone on here has had a problem with food, we all got here in different ways and although we have the same surgery, we all deal with it our way (or at least the way our doc tells us to!!). If you feel your addiction can best be dealt with through therapy, go for it. The important thing is that you want to change your your mindset post-op and that's important too in how successful you will be.

Good luck, if I had dealt with my weight at 25, I could have saved myself years of problems. You are not pathetic, you are brave to face up to things so decisively at a relatively young age. Remember that :-)))))

[lrs 33]

For one thing quit telling everybody. You will find on this web that their are a lot of people who don't tell. My husband was the only who knew what I was and had done. Then two days after I told my two daughters and still haven't told anyone. Next, I had my surgery on Wed. was off of metformin on thurs. For health reasons only was enough for me to do the sleeve. No regrets. Yes it is a life changing choice but I am ready. Good luck to you.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Anyone who has not struggled with their weight long term can never really understand, and you can't expect them to. It's like someone who doesn't drink telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking... Only you can answer the question have you tried hard enough or if surgery is right for you. I would not wish another 20 years trying on anyone (I'm 44). This particular surgery was not an option when I was your age (damn, now I feel old writing that)

I didn't opt for the lap bad or bypass years ago, so I don't think "surgery" was my answer. I think THIS surgery was the answer for me. If you want to try on your own again, do it. You can even do it while you are moving forward with plans for surgery. Only you know what is best for you, but you are asking questions and you can't go wrong there!

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide!!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

if your doctor has approved you for the process, then HE does not think you are too young. I have been on a diet since 1978 and joined a gym twice, and am still 100 pounds overweight. Like the others here are saying, overweight issues tend to perpetuate themselves, and all of a sudden you are in your forties or fifties or sixties, and still overweight with arthritis and multiple joint replacements. I wish this process would have been available when I was younger. If someone is being unsupportive of your decision to manage your own health your own way, then put your hands over your ears and hum Yankey Doodle. You do you.

[Roo101769 742]

I am 43. I have PCOS. ( diagnosed at age 25) I have a BMI in the 50s. I have been where you are, and continued the path from there. Only you know what is right for you. "Diets" do not work. You cannot diet your way to a permanent healthy lifestyle. It is about serious, lifelong changes. I did not learn this until many years of being fat had passed. Yes, I dieted. I joined health clubs, took classes. Yes, I tried to lose weight. But I never fully committed to the idea this is FOREVER. The sleeve is forever. Once I have the sleeve there will never be another day in my entire life I don't have the sleeve. I will die with the sleeve. I have finally surrendered to forever, and the sleeve is part of that future. You have your life to live and must decide how you wish to live it. But do this much, decide for yourself. DO NOT allow anyone to make the decision for you.

[mamaplumlee 58]

I made the decision to be open about my surgery to gain more support via emotionally or just not having to be around my friends cooking and offering me foods I can no longer eat. We do a lot of get togethers with food and I didn't want all the pressure or hurt feelings when I said no. I had a lot of negativity but also found a lot of support. I don't see anything wrong with telling people just be prepared for both responses. I also have PCOS, Type II Diabetes, and some other health issues that make it difficult to lose. I have the whole what if I try one more time but honestly trying "one more time" (many of times) lead me to 250 lbs at my heaviest and has caused me a great deal of pain and suffering. I thought about the surgery on and off for a few years and bypass scared me with all the malabsorption and deficiencies and lap band didn't seem like the right choice because of my health issues and carb addiction. Gastric sleeve felt right to me. There is no right or wrong answer, it's your body and your life. Do what makes you happy and healthy.

[rocknrollmama1980 20]

I'm with you:( I just posted my own rant.

[EarthyGoalie 253]

Thank you all for your answers! I do feel that I need a permanent change... since there's always the "i'll get back on track tomorrow", and then I don't, and then I gain... But from what I've heard, at least towards the beginning, you are forced to stay on track with the sleeve, and I think I need that... I don't believe I will tell anyone else who isn't very close to me such as my parents, my siblings... Like you said mamaplumlee, there's always the "what if I try once more"... :-/ and that has lead me to 240...

[JessPearl 9]

I am battling with the same thing right now. I don't know if I should have the surgery or not. I'm 35 and was just recently diagnosed with PCOS and Insulin resistance. Since I was diagnosed, I have been following the Paleo diet as instructed but STILL can not lose the weight, I also can not exercise right now because I have Adrenal Fatigue and a bad right knee. I feel I'm too young for all this and surgery may be the answer since I believe most of my health problems will go away when I can get all this weight off. I also worry about people knowing and thinking I'm taking "the easy way out" which of course is ridiculous since I know this isn't easy by any means.

[blackfalls 26]

Oh honey.

Do not listen to your friends about this. They mean well but they cannot understand.

I am 2 years older than you. I weighed 200 lbs when I graduated from high school. After hundreds of pounds lost and gained and $5000+ spent, I ended up at 285 lbs 10 years after graduation. I wish I had known of WLS when I was 200 lbs. I probably wouldn't have been able to afford it but at least I would have known about the option. I recently learned I have hypothyroidism (2 weeks before surgery!) and that's probably why it's been difficult for me to lose weight but oh so easy for me to put it back on.

Read about my yo-yo dieting here and whether it's possible to lose weight permanently if you have a BMI of >30: 100% of people with a BMI>30...

Good luck!

[RebecaSparkles 247]

Hey there, I'm 28- I started this journey at 25 but got every road block. Finally got through them & am scheduled for an Oct surgery.

Don't wait, the odds are so stacked against you doing it on your own. I'm 5'2 bmi 39 also was 41 when I started. I actually had to gain to get approved- total bs- my pcos wasn't enough to get approved. That I was bigger around than I was tall terrified me & I ended up getting high bp with the last 10#.

My friends all fired me bc they dont agree w/ my decision to do this but we all did WW together & I never really lost anything. I am sick of being fat. Its not "fun" anymore.

My losing cal per day is 1200- I am miserable on that little w/a normal sized stomach.

I can eat 1200 so easily in one meal.

I looked around my house & there were diet pepsi's everywhere. My soda addiction was so out of control. I'm now off it in anticipation of surgery. I am not off caffine but I did swap to the great value sf energy mix powder.

I lost what I did by eating1 meal & doing shakes for the rest. Also miserable, but nice to lose some.

The hardest part of all this has been admitting to myself that I am unhappy with being fat. I am super confident in my daily life but having to be real with myself has left me feeling vulnerable.

Hope this helps.

allons-y

[EarthyGoalie 253]

Thank you all so much! I can SO relate to what you are saying. blackfalls, I know what you are talking about! I have probably spent $5000 in diets, if not more! And RebeccaSparkles, my addiction to sodas is out of control crazy, especially with Coke... And I know how bad it is for me, but just the thought of having to give it up forever makes me kinda cringe. But on the other hand, I'm battling myself, because while cringing at the thought of giving up my soda (amongst other things), I look at myself and feel that it isn't worth doing this to myself and then feeling depressed... It's all such a viscous cycle!! On a different note, I took a leap today and made the appointment for my surgery; My surgery is in 8 days! I'm starting my pre-op tomorrow. I'm so excited and happy to have decided this, but also scared of life after surgery. By the way, on an off topic note, how do you guys write at the next line? I can't seem to press enter, or tab, or anything to write another paragraph lol; what am I missing here?

[RunningA5K 645]

When I met with my surgeon, he gave me all of the statistics. The one that stood out to me the most was that 1 in 200 people are successful at losing weight and keeping it off on their own....without any kind of surgery. That is a HORRIBLE statistic, and one that pretty much has the other 199 set up for endless failures.

I too have chosen to tell only 3 people. My husband, an acquaintance who has had the VSG surgery herself, and last night told my very close friend, who I found out had a sister who also had WLS. No one else knows, no family, no other friends, etc. You will read about those people who tell everyone and those people who tell very few people....it's your choice, this is your personal journey, you have to do what is best for you.

For those people who think this is the easy way out, blah blah blah...they have no idea what is actually involved...but remember, people never seem to hesitate to give their unsolicited opinions and advice....I believe it should be taken with a grain of salt, and most likely brushed aside.

Best wishes to you in this life changing journey!

[blackfalls 26]

Not sure why you can't press enter! Maybe try a different browser.