If you still struggle afterwards, why do it?

[DeniseM 238]

The reality is that in the beginning, we all lose weight due to the physical restriction of the sleeve. However, there comes a point where the sleeve will no longer be as effective at weight loss or maintenance as diet and exercise is. I have put significant effort into changing my relationship with food and embracing exercise. I still have work to do- my old habits still creep up every now and then and I find myself repeating old behaviors that I am trying so hard to replace with better choices. I understand and accept that the sleeve is basically temporary but my lifestyle is what is going to make the permanent and life-long change that I am looking for in my life. I understand and accept that I might struggle with my food addiction for the rest of my life, as any alcoholic does. But I also knew that I only had a 5% chance of loosing more than 100 pounds on my own, so for me, the surgery was necessary. Now, as I continue to struggle, I only have to deal with the food issues and temptations, and not the constant shame and guilt I felt at being 340 pounds. So even though I might always struggle, I won't struggle with as many things, if that makes sense.

[MetroDetroitChic 86]

I am 250lbs too (5' 7").

It believe this is as simple as a risk vs reward tradeoff... For me, and for others here, the rewards FAR outweigh the risks/negatives.

For me, knees not hurting, no diabetes and the freedom to do so many things I cannot do now... that happiness far outweighs any food "happiness" I will be giving up.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Gosh, I really love being the smaller one in the group now......I am actually the stronger one because I have the coping skills to take care of me when all is said and done. I know what it's like to be on both sides of the coin now. It is a miracle in our self esteem as well. It will take a lot of work and will be psychologically painful at times, but the end result is so worth it! I highly recommend working with a therapist throughout this process to gain new insights and coping skills to change the old thought processes that have driven you till now. You will be a great success and will be very proud of yourself too.....

[mich 74]

Great thread. I have some experience with maintainence. I had the band in 2008, I went from 255 to 200 by the end of 2009. I kept that weight and was 202 on surgery day for sleeve revision on 8/19/13. Before the band I was never able to lose or keep weight off, I was overweight/ obese my whole life. It really was a miracle for me.

I hope I can do the same with the sleeve. For me the restriction was a blessing. I can only get in a certain amount of food a day. That is just fact. So I ended up with a mental list of my must haves for everyday. For me it's yogart, Vitamins, eggs, some kind of chicken or fish, fruit and vegetable. So I would want a cookie or chips and I would think "ok, but I need to eat some protien first" then maybe I would have one cookie, but that is all. Because there was no more room.

I do have a lot of learning still to do. Maintaining at 200 is not very hard at only 5'2". I did have sweets or a treat every day. Oreos and ice cream shakes were my favorite. I'm down to 188 and 4 weeks sleeve post-op. The last time I was this weight I was in high school. I think this limited daily capacity thinking is what has helped me the most about weight loss surgery. When I was a BMI of 45 I would wake up and go for sweets. That is how I started my day for 15+ years. There have been times at my lower weight that I grabbed a cookie first thing in the morning and I could see how I ended up feeling sluggish and then carried on making bad food choices the rest of the day. I would end up getting none, or very few of my must haves. So I stopped doing that. Starting with healthy food each day has probably been my biggest behavioral change, and I think it has helped a lot.

I have done a lot of reading about increased capacity, stretching out a sleeve or pouch. From what I understand it is possible/common to increase capacity, but never anywhere close to what we used to have. So it really comes down to what you are putting in there. I have also found balancing helps a lot. If I did end up just eating junk (with the band, a slider food), I usually crave a protien immediately after. I think that helped slow down the blood sugar rush and stop me from getting more off track.

I don't know what my future holds. But I know it will be better with WLS than without it. The sleeve will always be a reminder that I do need to manage my food, protien first will always be my motto. My intact stomach was a food addicts dream. My band and now sleeve are like putting that addict brain on lock down. That is how it works for me.

[Roo101769 742]

Healthygal...Another aspect I think is we are now held accountable. If we slip, our new stomachs will certainly let us know. We don't have to worry about the overindulging, just what the quality of the food we consume is. When we are going the " do it on our own" route not only must we fight the mental fight of what to eat, but our stomachs allow us to eat so much more. When we are no longer physically hungry, we only have to deal with "head hunger". ( which is totally hard enough to deal with ) And I can speak from my own experience...When I am emotionally weak just a little bit of hunger will break me. If that physical hunger is missing, I truly believe I can maintain myself and my willpower about my choices. I think everyone who has the surgery does have a point of "do I really need to do this?" The answer for me is a resounding YES! I would so much rather struggle to maintain a healthy weight than never to obtain it in the first place!!!

[Healthygal 50]

Excellent points, everyone. How many times have I wished I could get to a health weight and "only" have 5-10 pounds to lose, rather than facing 100! With this I would have that ability, to go to a healthy weight I've never been at as an adult and learn better ways to maintain it. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

[Healthygal 50]

Another thing I am hoping and planning is that once I get my weight down, I will be able to take up a lot more activity that I'm just too tired to accomplish now. I really love to bike, and it will be so much easier to go long distances without 100 pounds extra to push along! Heck, I might take up volleyball. I used to like that back in grade school.

[Jen35 283]

Healthygal said:

I am a food addict, too, and feeling full seems to be a big thing with me. It's a comfort. Also, hiding behind being BIG has given me a feeling of being more physically imposing and stronger, that people couldn't just push me over. That's one emotional issue I'll have to work through, because it actually scares me a little to think of being smaller.

I can completely relate to what you said! I've found that the hardest part of this surgery is the mental aspect. Sure, I could choose not to work on my head issues, but after all the time, money and pain spent on surgery, it would be worthless if just went back to my old habits. So I started therapy 5 months before surgery and I've continued for for 4 months after. EVERY week and I'm still not "fixed" yet, lol! There is a reason I eat - for comfort due to several tramatic events in my childhood. I apparently want to be invisible (because when you are overweight to the degree I was, you ARE invisible - people ignore you). I'm so happy to be losing weight, but at the same time, it scares me to no longer have this wall around me (my "fat suit" as I call it) keeping others away. It's also scary to no longer turn to food for comfort. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life!

Getting back to the original post, I'm only 4 months out so I don't have long term experience personally. I have never been able to successfully lose weight. Whenever I have dieted, I was always hungry, felt deprived and eventually gave up. Or I would get stressed out and all I could do was eat to cope. With the sleeve, for the first time in my life, I understand what moderation is. I would always hear about eating this or that "in moderation" but I could never do it. Even eating healthy foods, I needed much more than normal to feel full or satisfied. Now, I can eat a little of this or that and feel full, satisfied and happy.

My brother is almost 3 years out from sleeve surgery and originally lost 150 pounds. He's gained back about 20 when he went through a very stressful divorce But he still has restriction and it is much easier for him to get back on track. Without the sleeve, the divorce would have put him right back at 400 pounds. He definitely can't eat like he did before the sleeve.

[SuzyB 182]

Excellent points, everyone. How many times have I wished I could get to a health weight and "only" have 5-10 pounds to lose, rather than facing 100! With this I would have that ability, to go to a healthy weight I've never been at as an adult and learn better ways to maintain it. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

I could always lose some weight, but not enough to be at goal. I could lose 20-50lbs but still be there with another 50-70 to go. Diets were never successful enough for me. I need the forced Portion Control. I need the forced follow up appointments. It will always be a struggle but I have a tool that is forever a part of me.

[greensleeve 457]

I see it like being an addict. Im always going to have to work at it.

But something I have noticed is that some thin people I know work at it all the time every day. They have never been fat because they look at the calories and Protein in everything, they work out all the time.

Sure there are a few people who eat whatever and never get fat. But I think that most people who are in shape are in shape because they work at it.

And really isn't part of our problem that we want things to be easy? We want instant gratification?

I think for me sometimes my life has been so stressful that ignoring hunger pains plus planning meals, dealing with temptation, not feeling like working out was just too much for me.

Like others have said, I think when the physical hunger is gone I will have one less things to struggle with. When I can't mindlessly binge, that will be amazing.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Another thing I am hoping and planning is that once I get my weight down, I will be able to take up a lot more activity that I'm just too tired to accomplish now. I really love to bike, and it will be so much easier to go long distances without 100 pounds extra to push along! Heck, I might take up volleyball. I used to like that back in grade school.

In my never ending Quest to find an exercise I could enjoy doing, two weeks ago I purchased my first bike in about 30 years. I LOVE IT! I rode at the beach this summer to test the waters and found it really was as much fun as I remembered. I take it down the the nearby park and aim for at least 5 miles a night. I find myself actually looking forward to it! And I know if I were still carrying around 140+ pounds there is no way I'd be doing it. This time around, I am finding because I went to such "lengths" to get my weight under control, I am not as easy to brush off the work required. The more I'm able to do , the more I WANT to do. I'm all in on this one.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Click on my profile and look at my before and after pictures... honestly, I didn't have a choice! I was huge, having health problems, felt physically miserable and frankly had become pretty shut down and detached.

I have to work at maintenance, but I struggled mightily when I was 300# to try to keep from getting to 350#.

I struggle much much LESS today then I did preop.

It has been more then worth it, and while i am likely to have the normal weight maintenance challenges, my life is just so much better.

[DonRodolfo 1,416]

The reality is that in the beginning, we all lose weight due to the physical restriction of the sleeve. However, there comes a point where the sleeve will no longer be as effective at weight loss or maintenance as diet and exercise is. I have put significant effort into changing my relationship with food and embracing exercise. I still have work to do- my old habits still creep up every now and then and I find myself repeating old behaviors that I am trying so hard to replace with better choices. I understand and accept that the sleeve is basically temporary but my lifestyle is what is going to make the permanent and life-long change that I am looking for in my life. I understand and accept that I might struggle with my food addiction for the rest of my life, as any alcoholic does. But I also knew that I only had a 5% chance of loosing more than 100 pounds on my own, so for me, the surgery was necessary. Now, as I continue to struggle, I only have to deal with the food issues and temptations, and not the constant shame and guilt I felt at being 340 pounds. So even though I might always struggle, I won't struggle with as many things, if that makes sense.

"Makes sense"? I don't have to type a response because you perfectly said everything I was going to say!

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Okay, this has been on my mind big time lately, as I'm sure it was on many others pre-op. I've been trying to decide if I want to do this. I've been fat ALL my life, always. I never knew anything else except for a brief period of time in high school when I was biking all the time and hardly ate anything. Otherwise, yeah, I was the fat gal everywhere I went. My weight is currently 250 and I'm 44 years old. Sooo, tired of it.

When I read about people on here really struggling with keeping weight off a couple of years out and more, I keep wondering, what was the point, then? If you have to watch your food like a hawk, get on the scale a great deal, fuss and worry about weight gain...why not just do all those same things with all of your stomach intact? If you're willing to do it now that you've had the surgery, why don't we just do all those things NOW and keep our stomachs?

So what I'm not hearing in the posts is WHY having had the sleeve done was beneficial for you. Do you feel you are living the same way afterwards as you did before it? Does it help you keep your weight in line, even years later? People keep calling it a "tool", how is it assisting you later on when the weight gain becomes a worry?

Before I do something this drastic, I would want to know that even when weight gain became an issue a few years out, the sleeve was still helping me in some way while I exercised and ate right. If you start to gain some weight, is it easier to get back off because of the sleeve? Because if all I'm looking at is this dramatic weight loss for the first couple of years and then I'm back to white-knuckling my existence with food, then what were the expense, pain, and possible risks for?

I hope this makes sense. I'm tired of being tired, being the fat lady in the group, losing and regaining, and watching my weight issues get worse over time. I don't want to waddle my way through the rest of my life. I want to feel good and look good and avoid diabetes and other issues. I'm a nurse and know what I'm looking at if I stay at this weight. Sigh!

Thanks!

Cara

Cara,

I may be an odd ball, but I do NOT struggle at all with keeping the weight off. No white knuckling here! I reached goal in six months and that was back in Dec. 2010. I've been maintaining for over 2.5 years.

I would do this again in a heartbeat, I wish I had been 35 or 40 instead of 50 when I had VSG!!!! It's life changing, life altering - it's wonderful, every day is STILL is exciting to me. I've been on board and beyond thrilled since I woke up in recovery. It's fun, it's a wild ride and you will not believe how different your life is a year into this journey!!!

I am pretty darn lazy, and by that I mean, I am not a gym rat, I am not a member of a gym and I do not do any 'formal' exercise. I park as far out as I can in parking lots, even in triple digit heat, and I do it on purpose, I go up and down our stairs more times than I need to. I have a 5 lb weighted ball that I toss around on occasion and I have even started doing 'wall' push ups. That's it. I know me, I have the attention span of a four year old. I did NOT want part of my weight loss to be due to my sudden interest in exercising....so I can honestly say, NONE of my weight loss was due to joining Curves, Gold's Gym etc. I DID know that I would need to make lifestyle changes that I could do forever, changes that would become my new life, my new normal. That is what I did and that is what I will continue to do. Age, boredom nor a twisted ankle will be a stumbling block and deal breaker!!!

There are things I do that I call my 'dashboard' - just like on my truck. I watch my dashboard and if something needs 'changing', I know it right away.....not eight or ten pounds down the road.

1) I weigh every morning

2) I weigh and/or measure my food when I'm home

3) I log my food on line (my fitness pal, I keep track of calories and protein)

Last but not least, I attend support groups. Most people go to one, I have four that I attend each month. I feel like I'm paying it forward. So many folks let ME pick their brains and ask numerous questions & calmed my fears early on. Now I am doing it for others. I am usually further out than most people at the support group meetings, so I seldom come across somebody to answer MY questions, but there are plenty for me!!! LoL

There are other little things that I started doing prior to surgery and continue to do, at least most of the time. Keep in mind, a lot of our 'issues' are all in our heads!! I eat on a smaller plate, a salad plate or bread and butter plate, it's great for 'visually' seeing a plate that isn't all plate and a dab of food. I eat with a seafood fork most of the time. Little changes like that, also become habit and it is helpful.

Good luck on whatever decision you make. Make sure to research, ask questions.....get on board, all of you, to make lifestyle changes. I feel like I eat like a naturally thin person, for the first time in my life, I am in control, food is not. Know that the doctor removes approx 85% of your stomach, after that, it is all up to you. This is a life time commitment, and like I said, I don't consider it work or time consuming, it's my new life. It is forever, there is no end date and it is worth every single change I've made. I still eat, nothing is "off limits" to me except carbonation, big deal, right???!!! There are things I choose not to eat or at least not often, but no hunger makes it much, much easier to resist when I need/want to.

Again, good luck!!

[buplee 556]

There have been some great responses to the question posted by op. Good luck to everyone on their respective journeys.