bnape29 30 Posted September 17, 2013 Ok, so I'm curious if anyone else is keeping their surgery somewhat of a secret? A very small amount of friends know about my surgery. I didn't want to hear their negative/uneducated thoughts.. So I've kept it to myself and reached out to support groups. Plus, I didn't want people constantly asking me who much I've lost and what can I eat/when. Too many repetitive questions that I don't want to answer over and over again... 4 lrs, missybean, soonerorlater and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bnape29 30 Posted September 17, 2013 Ok' date=' so I'm curious if anyone else is keeping their surgery somewhat of a secret? A very small amount of friends know about my surgery. I didn't want to hear their negative/uneducated thoughts.. So I've kept it to myself and reached out to support groups. Plus, I didn't want people constantly asking me who much I've lost and what can I eat/when. Too many repetitive questions that I don't want to answer over and over again...[/quote'] Oops ... "How much I've lost" .. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lrs 33 Posted September 17, 2013 Yes I kept mine a secret also bc I just didn't want anyone to know not even my two daughters and one is a R.N. I told them after two days later. Only them and probably their husbands know. I too didn't want phone calls after I got home, don't want a bunch of questions. Not even my pastor knows. If I had to do over I would still do it the same way. 2 A_ReNUDE_me and Ballermom reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bnape29 30 Posted September 17, 2013 Yes I kept mine a secret also bc I just didn't want anyone to know not even my two daughters and one is a R.N. I told them after two days later. Only them and probably their husbands know. I too didn't want phone calls after I got home' date=' don't want a bunch of questions. Not even my pastor knows. If I had to do over I would still do it the same way.[/quote'] Thanks.. Good to know you would do it the same way. If it must be known that I had some kind of surgery, I think I will just say that I had my gallbladder removed. My situation is a little tricky too bc my surgery is being done @ my place of employment. (Luckily not near the unit that I work on) 1 lrs reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MsK1972 112 Posted September 17, 2013 I haven't had mine yet, but only my best friend and daughter know. I'm extremely private about it for most of the same reasons as you. Negativity and ppl being nosey. My mom doesn't even know, she'd have a fit...therefore I will be explaining to my surgeon(s)( I also have to have a large cyst removed in surgery so I have 2 surgeons) not to divulge any particulars when they update my family at the hospital. They only know about the cyst and that's how I chose to keep it: I'm finding that lots of ppl keep it private. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PGee 318 Posted September 17, 2013 I've kept mine pretty quiet....even from friends & family.....the inlaws know, but they don't live nearby and don't see my family/friends....it's hard, and you'll find yourself in difficult situations....I tell people I eat less and watch my carbs.....during meals I tend to ask questions of family/friends I'm eating with....keeps them focused on themselves rather than me (just a little tip) A friend who's had the gastric bypass noticed the weight loss the other day.....and assumed it was from exercising (since she was supposed to go with me, and blew it off all summer).....I keep wondering when she'll figure it out..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shells_Almost_There 357 Posted September 17, 2013 I kept mine a secret. Work friends all think I'm on vacation. Exactly 9 people know that I had surgery. That's actually 2 more than I intended but I'm ok with it. Good luck to you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sleeve Siren 307 Posted September 17, 2013 I've only told a few people as well. Ditto all the reasons above. I don't need any unsolicited advice or "well intended" comments. My body, my business! 6 DangerousD, Blondiee, lrs and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J.Diesel 220 Posted September 17, 2013 Secret Sleever here...I've only told my immediate family and in-laws. nobody needs to know your business unless you want to share with the world 2 lrs and bnape29 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
endless80 697 Posted September 17, 2013 I don't like keeping secrets because I am not ashamed of my decision. At first I romantisized keeping this whole thing a secret, even from my mother but then I thought against it because if anything happened while I was having surgery it wouldnt be fair to her that she at least didnt know. I struggled with that for a while. But I strive to live a transparent life and in that transparancy there may be oppurtunities to touch other people's lives with my story. I already have, twice (that I know of) and at the end of the day... people greivances about my decisions have nothing to do with me. So I do my best not to concern myself with them. It makes for a much happier me. 10 Jus1Nita, Jerzygurl, Smile! and 7 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bratlifetour 0 Posted September 17, 2013 So far I only told my mom sister brother husband and best friends. I don't plan to tell anyone else not my husbands family or any of my other family. I don't want the judgement and stares and questions. To me it would be like staying fat with all the silent judgement. I'm already working out and changes my diet and I plan on keeping to my self all winter so that after surgery everyone will think I just work out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
longtimecoming7 390 Posted September 17, 2013 I don't even like when people ask me about a new haircut! Your hair looks nice, where did you get your haircut? How much did it cost? Did you get highlights? Definitely not telling people! The only people who know... My husband and my mother 1 Getting Wispy reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roo101769 742 Posted September 17, 2013 I am in the same boat as endless80. I have been very open about my decision to pursue the surgery. I have also been very lucky that I have not encountered much of any negative opinions. Sure there are questions, but I really don't mind answering them. And of course some will be concerned. Not for the fact I chose weight loss surgery, but because it is a MAJOR surgery! Once I am done and healed and living my life those concerns will pass. I know two people following my journey who are either wanting the surgery or working towards it, so I know my choice has made a difference in their lives. I think overall people know of my struggles and understand this will help me and is not a "bad" thing. But to be fair, I also realize their are a lot of people in the world who would judge and be negative about it. While it is totally NOT their business, nor is it right that they want us to lose weight yet criticize how we do it, they still exist. So I get that it is a personal decision whether you share your story or not. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RJ'S/beginning 5,358 Posted September 17, 2013 I kept the original surgery a secret because I did not know the the outcome would be...I went septic and ended back in the hospital for 5 months...Very hard to keep people from asking questions when you are in that position.. I assumed it would be a hop skip and a jump like so many others and I would not have to answer any questions.... Even with the issues I had with recovery from the surgery only a couple people know the exact truth of the matter...Others have not seen me in quite a while so no one recognizes me at all..I can walk by people I have known for years and they don't see me at all.... I told only the people that I care about and even some of that has changed for me....I keep it my business.. The number one question when I was in the hospital for 5 months was not how is she doing? But, how much weight has she lost being so ill...People are just idiots sometimes and I don't need to hear their opinions on any of my personal business.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thinathart 197 Posted September 17, 2013 I'm going on 11 months out, down 104 lbs and I only told my DH and my BFF. That's it. No family members, no office workers, nobody else. I'm so glad I did. 6 bnape29, Hotlilnurse, JewelJ and 3 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites