Starting to second guess myself

[janelle_vs 2]

My surgery is set for oct 21 and now I starting to think twice about it. I'll start by saying I'm 25 years old I weight currently 253 and I'm 5'7. Every one around me keeps telling me that I don't need it and I could die! The main person who is saying that they don't support me is my fiancé. He says he does not want me to get it and I don't want to disappoint him. I really really want it but I just don't no.

[Gojogo 55]

I was scarred and thought about writing good bye notes to my loved ones lol. I have lived to tell the tale and it's all good. I have no regrets at all. Loved ones worry about the op, complications ect and how we may change personality wise. This is for you and your boyfriend will learn to live with it. Hopefully once he sees it's the right thing for you he will become supportive. What are his reasons and can your surgeon help settle his fears? Good luck.

[MsFab1988 275]

I'm 25 too! The only fear I had was death. But I prayed and just went for it. I actually had to do that TWICE (Lap band and gastric sleeve since I failed with the band) ItSurgury is a scary thought but if you find a skilled surgeon, it can help ease ur mind. The main thing to focus on is what can happen if you dont lose the weight? I thought about how I could have died from elevated blood pressure. Could have waited just to pack on an addional 50 pounds just to end up having a stoke. I said no thank you to the obese life, I will take my chances with the sleeve. If anything happens, I know I died trying cuz I sure did try EVERYTHING else before this (As Im sure we all have) At the end of the day, you know why u were interested in this surgury. Dont let everyone elses fears become yours. You need to do what you need to do to better your life. They will all understand in the end

By the way, your finance might feel threatend that you will want to leave him once u lose weight (partners do become a bit insecure) & for people who say "you could have done it naturally" I say "No thank you, I'll leave that for people like you to deal with, good luck with all that" lol cause seriously, if its just so easy to lose weight, why are they still big????

[MsK1972 112]

I must admit I also have my fears and I'm now approved, I don't have my date but I'm thinking it will be about the same time as yours. I chose not to tell but 2 ppl on my life about it, I'm also having another necessary surgery at the same time and that surgery is what everyone knows about. I

Just knew I didn't need the negativity so I opted to keep it close to my heart.

This choice is yours, please don't let anyone stop you from doing what YOU feel you need for you, because then you will have regrets and resentment. I wish you all the best and my thoughts and prayers go out to you...Ps. I am 41 years old 5'9 235Lbs and ppl also tell me I don't need it. But they are not walking in my shoes, dealing with sleep apnea or the joint pain I suffer with. Nor do they know how I feel when I look in the mirror. Just wanted you to know...you are not alone.

[Cupcake 801]

Hi this is a personal choice for you to decide and no one else, this is a life time changed, that will help you live longer and healthier. No offense but I would concern myself on what is in the best interest of me not my fiance. Good luck.

[lsereno 2,525]

Only you know whether the surgery is right for you.

For those that love you, if you do decide on surgery, try to help them overcome their fears by taking them to a support group and/or a Dr. appt, I did this with my mom. She was scared of the surgery, but felt better after going to a support group with me and to one of my pre-op appts.

For those that weigh in with their opinion that you are not heavy enough to need the surgery, remember: it's their opinion. They are not in your body, dealing with your issues. I heard that a million times from friends, family, nurses, and more, but I knew that for me, the surgery was my only chance at taking the weight off and keeping it off. That doesn't mean that is true for you, just telling you my story.

Lynda

[peachie86 63]

Janelle_VS

Please make the decision to have the surgery for yourself. If I could have qualified for WLS years ago, I would have done. My husband is a nurse and did not want me to have for various reasons. My mother kept saying we can lose weigh together, but she continues to struggle and has many health problems due to her weight. My husband and mother have been supportive despite their feelings, especially since my insurance made sure I was educated about WLS before finally getting approved. The good thing is my mother seen a nutritionist and has taken a nutrition class and beginning her own journey into changing her life. She is not a good candidate for any type of WLS.

[AmBeR09 60]

My husband was against the surgery too until we had a heart to heart deep conversation and I expressed my feelings. He still was not thrilled but was supportive. He may be concerned because so many people think if you're skinny you'll leave them or want someone else. It's all about insecurities. I'm sure he's also worried about your health. Surgery is pretty intense and scary. I also had my own doubts but it was mainly death due to some of the forums that I have read. I'm a few days post op and tell myself when the pain is all gone and the weight starts shedding that it'll all be worth it. Sit and talk with your fiancé and maybe a close friend that isn't judge mental. Best of luck in your choice.

[keglenne 23]

Its ok for your significant other to disagree. We are all different and we all view how we would handle certain situations different. Just know that whatever you do whether you decide to go through with it are not it has to solely be your decision. You have to pick and choose your battles based on your own life experiences. This means that the decision someone else makes for you or an opinion that is coming from someone else may not be the best choicr for you. In a relationship if someone truly care and love you unconditional they will allow you to make your own decision and deal with it even if they dont agree. My husband hates that i will be having surgery but he does support my decision in making me a better and healthier me both mentally and physically. This is very important. If there is a strong bond in a relationship, it doesnt matter what challenge comes your way. The relationship will withstand. If the relationship diminish than it wasn't meant to be from the start. I have been knowing my husband since i was 5 we have dated for 26 years and been married 12 years. Yes we have been through alot but we respect each others decisions even when we disagree. This is where unconditional love come into play. Good luck with your decision and ask god to guide you because you are incharge of your life. GOD BLESS

[janelle_vs 2]

Thank you all. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one out here with these feelings.

[ccm2n 28]

I'm 29 yr old male. 6'1 290 per op. Was a college athlete and had high bp high cholesterol and sleep apnea. 1yr later I'm 180 lbs no knee, ankle, joint pain. No more bp meds in my 20' s . I'm healthy and this was the best decision I've ever made. I could not loose weight before because of my knees and ankles taking a beating from 13 years of being over weight and football. This has truly been the best thing I've ever done. You can pm me with any questions. Good luck and make your own decision. I was not supported myself but I stand by this 100%

[J.Diesel 220]

Being scared is normal to feel once you have the sugery scheduled. You have to trust you made the right decision for yourself and all your research and choosing the right surgeon make you feel mentally and physically ready!!

Just have faith in whatever decision you make is the right one for you.

[ladebugg 6]

I cancalled my surgery because I know that I would lose the weight but my support ( my husband and son) are not ready to change their lifestyle. I didn't want to be thinner but unhappy because they weren't Getting healthy. I have lost 25 lbs on my own though. I'm in controll. Not a sleeve. Not a band. ME

[De-jo 22]

I cancalled my surgery because I know that I would lose the weight but my support ( my husband and son) are not ready to change their lifestyle. I didn't want to be thinner but unhappy because they weren't Getting healthy. I have lost 25 lbs on my own though. I'm in controll. Not a sleeve. Not a band. ME

Not trying to be rude but then why are you on this forum? Weight loss is not ALL about control. I think it's a little insulting to make it seem like those of us who have decided to go this route are not in control. I think the total opposite. I speak for myself but if weight loss was ALL about control and just putting the fork down then wouldn't life be so much easier. This goes without saying but obesity is a combination of things for different people. I think most people who have decided to go this route have exhausted other means. I know I have. So excuse me if I seem like I'm cherry picking but I find it counter productive for others for you to be on this site and comment on a thread about it being a control issue. In order to have this procedure we have all had to make sure this is the right thing for us. If it isn't for you that's fine...I'm glad in your case, you figured it out before you did it. If you are able to lose weight on you own BIG props too you, please don't let me knock wind out of your sails. However, don't take your victory and turn it around to make others feel like they are failing for their choices.

[mirabelle 64]

I cancalled my surgery because I know that I would lose the weight but my support ( my husband and son) are not ready to change their lifestyle. I didn't want to be thinner but unhappy because they weren't Getting healthy. I have lost 25 lbs on my own though. I'm in controll. Not a sleeve. Not a band. ME

I'm a little confused by your post ladebugg.

If you cancelled your surgery because your husband and son weren't ready to change their habits and that would make unhappy, isn't that still the case whether you lose weight with traditional dieting or the sleeve?