Divorce/ break up post sleeve?

[SuperFab 689]

You say he loves you and would do anything for you. What exactly does he do? No help financially. No help emotionally. I'm still trying to figure out what he does for you that is worth hanging onto other than the fact that you have a history together.

[gettingslim 86]

First I want to say you are really cute (blushes)

Secondly I think if he loved you he would do whatever he could to support and progress the new and improved you. I think that if he truly cared for you he would make the changes you ask him to. Trying to keep you around by pampering you with gifts seems like a shallow and insecure way of holding things together.

[bethxxx 304]

First I want to say you are really cute (blushes)

Secondly I think if he loved you he would do whatever he could to support and progress the new and improved you. I think that if he truly cared for you he would make the changes you ask him to. Trying to keep you around by pampering you with gifts seems like a shallow and insecure way of holding things together.

Yes my sister says that is his way of trying to make me stay with him because he can feel what's coming.

I have talked to him about making the changes and I believe he has tried but I think we just aren't compatible anymore. He doesn't WANT to change so he will end up resenting me in the end.

This is so so hard because I know he has no where to go... I am telling him today he has a week to find somewhere to go

[gettingslim 86]

A part of me believes you are making the right decision.

[Black Diamond 45]

He has ben there two yrs Scott free...he had tIME to save STACKS OF MONEY. I am pissed...user user user..but I also no hE can't do something u dt allow...The proper thing to do legally is give his freeloader ass 30 ..DAYS..WRITE IT UP AND NOTIRIZE. ..U DT HV TO TAKE CARE OF NO GROWN AS BOY..I SAY BOY BCAUSE MEN TK CARE OF HOME..NO Matter WHAT. .

[Sassygirl06 962]

Wow you really hit the nail on the head! I have never seen it that way but as soon as I read that first sentence I knew deep down that is probably the truth.

Thank you, really. You have opened my eyes a bit I really appreciate that

Would love to have an update on if you talked with him,or made a decision. I also wanted to say one more thing. In a true relationship things should be equal, that includes decision making, bill paying, or if one works and the other stays at home then that person staying at home should contribute in other ways, such as taking care of the household. If there is a lack of balance in a relationship, then it truly will end up destroying itself, or having one party very unhappy. I have been married for 19 years as of tomorrow, and this is how our relationship works so well. We approach everything equally. Communication and collaboration.....we joke about us being tag team partners in life. I sure hope that if this relationship doesn't work out that you are able to find a man who treats you right, and contributes to your life, not one that mootches off of you! Good luck girl!

[1gorgeousgodzilla 192]

Yes please update us OP. Hope you had a satisfactory resolution to your dilemma one way or another.

[bethxxx 304]

UPDATE:

I decided after a lot of hard thinking that he isn't right for me and I am being unfair to him and to myself by staying in the relationship.

I broke up with him last Monday and asked him to move out by Sunday. Last night (Sunday) he moved out of my house.

He spent the week texting me telling me he loves me so much and that he can change and please take him back but I have heard it before. He has said he can change so much but I know he has tried before and it just hasn't worked.

I have cried everyday so far but I know things will get better i just have to push through. I am very sad for him as well as I know he is heartbroken and its not like he did anything really wrong, he just isn't right for me.

I am going to stay single for a while and try and spend some time with myself. I feel very nervous about entering the dating scene again as I have never done that as a thin person. But I need to heal first.

Thank you very much to everyone who gave me such good advice and helped me to be strong and make the right decision.

[Sassygirl06 962]

It sounds like you made the right decision to me. I had a similar experience with my husband about 11 years ago. I was working two jobs, while pregnant with our third child. He wasn't working at all, and he wasn't helping out around the house. So basically I was the bread winner, as well as the house keeper. The only thing he was providing me with was a babysitter, and sometimes sex. I finally had had enough of it and I sat him down and told him things have got to change. I straight out told him he wasn't bringing anything to the table that I couldn't go out and buy some battery's for and do myself...and probably better. I gave him a chance to change, especially since we were about to have our third child together, so we had commitments to think about. I told him he needed to be there more for me emotionally, physically, and that he needed to find a good job so that I didn't have to work two anymore....as well as he needed to be doing half of the chores around the house. I explained to him that I loved him very much, and I wanted us to work out, but I didn't need him to make my life happy. I wanted to have him as my husband, and partner in this life...but I didn't need him.

Boy I tell you, it was a huge wake up call to him! He went out and got a great job, and promoted in less then a month to manager. He began making more money then I did, and he also stepped it up around the house. He basically started to play an active role in our family. I was very proud of him, and felt very fortunate that he was willing to change. Had he have made promises to change and not follow through I would not have given him another chance though...he knew that, and so he acted on it.

I am proud to say that we have now been married 19 years, and he is still playing an active role in our household, and marriage.

I think it is a good idea for you to stay single for a while, and get to know the new you. Learn for yourself that you don't need a man to make you happy or to survive, and once you have learned that for real then you will be able to find yourself a real man that can contribute to your happiness....and support you for a change instead of you supporting him! Good for you girl! Good luck to you!

[donewithdieting 44]

Ya know you teach people how to treat you. If they get by with dis-respect, it will continue. Keep your chin up. You will be fine. Linda

[bethxxx 304]

It sounds like you made the right decision to me. I had a similar experience with my husband about 11 years ago. I was working two jobs' date=' while pregnant with our third child. He wasn't working at all, and he wasn't helping out around the house. So basically I was the bread winner, as well as the house keeper. The only thing he was providing me with was a babysitter, and sometimes sex. I finally had had enough of it and I sat him down and told him things have got to change. I straight out told him he wasn't bringing anything to the table that I couldn't go out and buy some battery's for and do myself...and probably better. I gave him a chance to change, especially since we were about to have our third child together, so we had commitments to think about. I told him he needed to be there more for me emotionally, physically, and that he needed to find a good job so that I didn't have to work two anymore....as well as he needed to be doing half of the chores around the house. I explained to him that I loved him very much, and I wanted us to work out, but I didn't need him to make my life happy. I wanted to have him as my husband, and partner in this life...but I didn't need him.

Boy I tell you, it was a huge wake up call to him! He went out and got a great job, and promoted in less then a month to manager. He began making more money then I did, and he also stepped it up around the house. He basically started to play an active role in our family. I was very proud of him, and felt very fortunate that he was willing to change. Had he have made promises to change and not follow through I would not have given him another chance though...he knew that, and so he acted on it.

I am proud to say that we have now been married 19 years, and he is still playing an active role in our household, and marriage.

I think it is a good idea for you to stay single for a while, and get to know the new you. Learn for yourself that you don't need a man to make you happy or to survive, and once you have learned that for real then you will be able to find yourself a real man that can contribute to your happiness....and support you for a change instead of you supporting him! Good for you girl! Good luck to you! [/quote']

I am so glad it worked out for you. I hope I can find someone who is right for me

[Black Diamond 45]

I'm glad u dumped his ass. ..folk dt miss the Water til the well runs dry...

[FRED1977 186]

Why was this relationship good for 2 years and you were ok with him not working or doing anything but now that you have changed you want him to leave, I don't get that part. I usually see this when men get married and the wife wants a divorce. The wife didn't work the entire marriage nor contribute financially but now they are divorcing. Oh well if your not happy you should never settle but it seems like you both were using each other, you supported this guy because he came to your rescue. Now you say you don't need rescuing anymore.

You have to do whatever makes you happy but there may be some other issues that need to be addressed.

[SuperFab 689]

Sometimes one person grows in a different direction than the other. It happens.

[bethxxx 304]

Why was this relationship good for 2 years and you were ok with him not working or doing anything but now that you have changed you want him to leave' date=' I don't get that part. I usually see this when men get married and the wife wants a divorce. The wife didn't work the entire marriage nor contribute financially but now they are divorcing. Oh well if your not happy you should never settle but it seems like you both were using each other, you supported this guy because he came to your rescue. Now you say you don't need rescuing anymore.

You have to do whatever makes you happy but there may be some other issues that need to be addressed.[/quote']

Thank you for providing a different perspective