Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Divorce/ break up post sleeve?



Recommended Posts

You say he loves you and would do anything for you. What exactly does he do? No help financially. No help emotionally. I'm still trying to figure out what he does for you that is worth hanging onto other than the fact that you have a history together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First I want to say you are really cute (blushes)

Secondly I think if he loved you he would do whatever he could to support and progress the new and improved you. I think that if he truly cared for you he would make the changes you ask him to. Trying to keep you around by pampering you with gifts seems like a shallow and insecure way of holding things together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First I want to say you are really cute (blushes)

Secondly I think if he loved you he would do whatever he could to support and progress the new and improved you. I think that if he truly cared for you he would make the changes you ask him to. Trying to keep you around by pampering you with gifts seems like a shallow and insecure way of holding things together.

Yes my sister says that is his way of trying to make me stay with him because he can feel what's coming.

I have talked to him about making the changes and I believe he has tried but I think we just aren't compatible anymore. He doesn't WANT to change so he will end up resenting me in the end.

This is so so hard because I know he has no where to go... I am telling him today he has a week to find somewhere to go :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A part of me believes you are making the right decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has ben there two yrs Scott free...he had tIME to save STACKS OF MONEY. I am pissed...user user user..but I also no hE can't do something u dt allow...The proper thing to do legally is give his freeloader ass 30 ..DAYS..WRITE IT UP AND NOTIRIZE. ..U DT HV TO TAKE CARE OF NO GROWN AS BOY..I SAY BOY BCAUSE MEN TK CARE OF HOME..NO Matter WHAT. .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow you really hit the nail on the head! I have never seen it that way but as soon as I read that first sentence I knew deep down that is probably the truth.

Thank you, really. You have opened my eyes a bit I really appreciate that

Would love to have an update on if you talked with him,or made a decision. I also wanted to say one more thing. In a true relationship things should be equal, that includes decision making, bill paying, or if one works and the other stays at home then that person staying at home should contribute in other ways, such as taking care of the household. If there is a lack of balance in a relationship, then it truly will end up destroying itself, or having one party very unhappy. I have been married for 19 years as of tomorrow, and this is how our relationship works so well. We approach everything equally. Communication and collaboration.....we joke about us being tag team partners in life. I sure hope that if this relationship doesn't work out that you are able to find a man who treats you right, and contributes to your life, not one that mootches off of you! Good luck girl! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes please update us OP. Hope you had a satisfactory resolution to your dilemma one way or another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

UPDATE:

I decided after a lot of hard thinking that he isn't right for me and I am being unfair to him and to myself by staying in the relationship.

I broke up with him last Monday and asked him to move out by Sunday. Last night (Sunday) he moved out of my house.

He spent the week texting me telling me he loves me so much and that he can change and please take him back but I have heard it before. He has said he can change so much but I know he has tried before and it just hasn't worked.

I have cried everyday so far but I know things will get better i just have to push through. I am very sad for him as well as I know he is heartbroken and its not like he did anything really wrong, he just isn't right for me.

I am going to stay single for a while and try and spend some time with myself. I feel very nervous about entering the dating scene again as I have never done that as a thin person. But I need to heal first.

Thank you very much to everyone who gave me such good advice and helped me to be strong and make the right decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you made the right decision to me. I had a similar experience with my husband about 11 years ago. I was working two jobs, while pregnant with our third child. He wasn't working at all, and he wasn't helping out around the house. So basically I was the bread winner, as well as the house keeper. The only thing he was providing me with was a babysitter, and sometimes sex. I finally had had enough of it and I sat him down and told him things have got to change. I straight out told him he wasn't bringing anything to the table that I couldn't go out and buy some battery's for and do myself...and probably better. I gave him a chance to change, especially since we were about to have our third child together, so we had commitments to think about. I told him he needed to be there more for me emotionally, physically, and that he needed to find a good job so that I didn't have to work two anymore....as well as he needed to be doing half of the chores around the house. I explained to him that I loved him very much, and I wanted us to work out, but I didn't need him to make my life happy. I wanted to have him as my husband, and partner in this life...but I didn't need him.

Boy I tell you, it was a huge wake up call to him! He went out and got a great job, and promoted in less then a month to manager. He began making more money then I did, and he also stepped it up around the house. He basically started to play an active role in our family. I was very proud of him, and felt very fortunate that he was willing to change. Had he have made promises to change and not follow through I would not have given him another chance though...he knew that, and so he acted on it.

I am proud to say that we have now been married 19 years, and he is still playing an active role in our household, and marriage.

I think it is a good idea for you to stay single for a while, and get to know the new you. Learn for yourself that you don't need a man to make you happy or to survive, and once you have learned that for real then you will be able to find yourself a real man that can contribute to your happiness....and support you for a change instead of you supporting him! Good for you girl! Good luck to you! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ya know you teach people how to treat you. If they get by with dis-respect, it will continue. Keep your chin up. You will be fine. Linda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you made the right decision to me. I had a similar experience with my husband about 11 years ago. I was working two jobs' date=' while pregnant with our third child. He wasn't working at all, and he wasn't helping out around the house. So basically I was the bread winner, as well as the house keeper. The only thing he was providing me with was a babysitter, and sometimes sex. I finally had had enough of it and I sat him down and told him things have got to change. I straight out told him he wasn't bringing anything to the table that I couldn't go out and buy some battery's for and do myself...and probably better. I gave him a chance to change, especially since we were about to have our third child together, so we had commitments to think about. I told him he needed to be there more for me emotionally, physically, and that he needed to find a good job so that I didn't have to work two anymore....as well as he needed to be doing half of the chores around the house. I explained to him that I loved him very much, and I wanted us to work out, but I didn't need him to make my life happy. I wanted to have him as my husband, and partner in this life...but I didn't need him.

Boy I tell you, it was a huge wake up call to him! He went out and got a great job, and promoted in less then a month to manager. He began making more money then I did, and he also stepped it up around the house. He basically started to play an active role in our family. I was very proud of him, and felt very fortunate that he was willing to change. Had he have made promises to change and not follow through I would not have given him another chance though...he knew that, and so he acted on it.

I am proud to say that we have now been married 19 years, and he is still playing an active role in our household, and marriage.

I think it is a good idea for you to stay single for a while, and get to know the new you. Learn for yourself that you don't need a man to make you happy or to survive, and once you have learned that for real then you will be able to find yourself a real man that can contribute to your happiness....and support you for a change instead of you supporting him! Good for you girl! Good luck to you! :)[/quote']

I am so glad it worked out for you. I hope I can find someone who is right for me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad u dumped his ass. ..folk dt miss the Water til the well runs dry...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why was this relationship good for 2 years and you were ok with him not working or doing anything but now that you have changed you want him to leave, I don't get that part. I usually see this when men get married and the wife wants a divorce. The wife didn't work the entire marriage nor contribute financially but now they are divorcing. Oh well if your not happy you should never settle but it seems like you both were using each other, you supported this guy because he came to your rescue. Now you say you don't need rescuing anymore.

You have to do whatever makes you happy but there may be some other issues that need to be addressed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes one person grows in a different direction than the other. It happens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why was this relationship good for 2 years and you were ok with him not working or doing anything but now that you have changed you want him to leave' date=' I don't get that part. I usually see this when men get married and the wife wants a divorce. The wife didn't work the entire marriage nor contribute financially but now they are divorcing. Oh well if your not happy you should never settle but it seems like you both were using each other, you supported this guy because he came to your rescue. Now you say you don't need rescuing anymore.

You have to do whatever makes you happy but there may be some other issues that need to be addressed.[/quote']

Thank you for providing a different perspective

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • RacMag  »  bhogue925

      Hi, I’m new here. I’m currently on the liver shrinking diet. So far so good, but I have to say I haven’t found a protein shake I like. Anyone have any suggestions please? My surgery date is September 17th. 
      · 2 replies
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Fairlife Core are by far the best. They taste just as they are - chocolate milk. You can either get the 26 grams or the 42 grams (harder to find and more expensive). For straight protein look at Bulksuppliments.com ..they have really good whey proteins and offer auto ship plus they test for purity. No taste or smell...

      2. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Fairlife has strawberry, vanilla and of course chocolate. No more calories than other protein drinks. Stay away from Premiere, they're dealing with lawsuits due to not being honest about protein content.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×