4 months out and falling off wagon

[cathycnyrs 85]

I don't think it was meant for her either....

[Angie!! 24]

I don't think that was meant for you.....

Okay well it quoted my post so I thought it was. In the spirit of goodwill I am going to move on from this post. I wish the op all the luck and support in the world.

[marfar7 1,533]

I'm right there with u and I'm only 9 wks out. Haven't lost a lb in 3 wks. I'm only 26 lbs from goal (was a band revision) so I understand its gunna go slower now but this is ridiculous. We came to in laws last week to Ca from Or so were traveling and eating out a lot. I've found that I can eat 1/3 of an In and Out cheeseburger without problem. Bun and all.

Haven't started working out yet either. I really need to step up and take control of my diet, my body, and my life. Whether I'm at home or traveling it shouldn't make a difference. I need to go grocery shopping and buy some healthier foods than my in laws eat (a lot of beef, no chicken, no fish)

Thanx for this post.I know I'm not alone. At least u got to 4 mths!

Wtg on the 60 lbs, btw!

[gettingslim 86]

I have to say some people are raised differently than others. Some people are blunt and tell you what you need to hear but dont want to. Some people can put it into words that are less hurtful. Some people are en experienced but still think they have a gokd idea. Regardless if the feedback is positive or negative it is what you asked for.

My 2 cents is 2 weeks after surgery I had a sugar craving that I satisfied and sugar gave me no issues and went down like Water. My aunt who had previously had the gastric bypass said if all you eat is sugar nothing is going to change. It was disheartening. I felt low even though I was losing weight I was still being unhealthy. They were the words I needed to hear. I have fallen of two other times since then but only for the moment thag I eat the sugar and then I punish myself with a workout. Part of the way thjs surgery works is by forcing your body into ketosis. If your carb intake or sugar intake is to high your body leaves ketosis and stops using stored fat for energy but instead burns the carbs or sugar your eating. With that said make better choices its something we all have to do and we will all have to go through at some point during this journey. Best of luck.

[CassieWNY 100]

I have to say some people are raised differently than others. Some people are blunt and tell you what you need to hear but dont want to. Some people can put it into words that are less hurtful. Some people are en experienced but still think they have a gokd idea. Regardless if the feedback is positive or negative it is what you asked for.

I am going to respectfully disagree with this poster. I believe the OP was looking for feedback that would help her.

I do not approach this site believing that people who have struggled with weight loss over many years, jumped through 1000 insurance and medical hoops, possibly paid tens of thousands of dollars, and then underwent surgery are here for blunt, unsupportive, rude and/or severely critical feedback. Don't we face that enough being overweight in our society??

My assumption is that feedback on this site is supportive and constructive. Constructive feedback is not blunt. How one was raised does not excuse ignorance. Being raised differently is not an excuse for being impolite to someone who is seeking support. As a society we should be searching to help others not hurt them.

So many people who are about to undergo this procedure are combing through these postings. Here we have a very typical situation where someone is searching for help 4 months post-op and we have a few individuals posting the same critical bs we face every day from people that judge us because we are overweight. What kind of message is that for people who are here seeking answers to the very same questions we had in the beginning.

This is not some teen gaming site or a social site for the politically improper. It is a forum for information, research and support. If someone cannot put a sentence together that is supportive and/or constructive, either cut and paste one that fits the bill or stay silent.

[gamergirl 4,610]

I'm not making excuses for the blunt postings but one of the offending posters is 23 years old. I haven't bothered to check on the ages of the other offensive posters, whom no one has picked on, but I know I did some stupid sh/t at 23, so I'm willing to chalk it up to inexperience rather than sheer malice. Life does seem somewhat black and white at that age, no?

Hugs to all, REALLY glad to be a part of this loving, giving community, and happy Monday!!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

So if we are blaming her age for her inability to articulate herself with kindness and compassion, can we blame mine (you know, I am old and cantankerous) if I tell her to grow the fook up?

[TapSnap 357]

I am one of the people that posted one of the so called "rude" comments (I am like the 3-4th person that posted). I am sorry but I am not going to sugar coat my answers to anyone. If I answer a question I am answering the question based off my own experiences, other peoples posts, and how I learn.

I am going to tell people how I see it. I am sorry I didn't spend years of my life trying different weight loss pills and programs. then spend months getting everything done to have this surgery. I didn't spend a lot of money and go through a surgery to eat what made me fat before surgery.

I don't see how people can do everything in their power to get healthy and then say f**k it I am going to eat this slice of greasy pizza or deep fried breaded chicken nuggets (pink slime). Why go back to old habits that made you the way you were before surgery? I don't know about everyone else but I go out of my way every day to stay away from things that I had before surgery.

Before people start saying I never have anything nice to say or they never see me helping ill leave you with a thread I posted a month ago that has be pinned and has over 3,000 views. Its a list of free samples and discounts on Protein supplements and Vitamins. I contacted almost all of the links personally and even called 50% of them to get more information before posting them. http://www.verticals...g-free-samples/

I also have spoken at seminars and helped with support group meetings. I have posted recipes on the forums and even got voted best recipe at my hospitals protein party (brings in venders and people so people can taste protein products and recipes). I didn't sugar coat anything when I was speaking to 50+ people at the seminars and I was thanked just not by the people who were attending but also other speakers and the doctors that were there for being open and honest.

So I am not sorry for my post. I am sorry that people find my opinion not to there liking. I won't change how I post because some people do need tough love and to hear it how it is.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I am going to respectfully disagree with this poster. I believe the OP was looking for feedback that would help her.

I do not approach this site believing that people who have struggled with weight loss over many years, jumped through 1000 insurance and medical hoops, possibly paid tens of thousands of dollars, and then underwent surgery are here for blunt, unsupportive, rude and/or severely critical feedback. Don't we face that enough being overweight in our society??

My assumption is that feedback on this site is supportive and constructive. Constructive feedback is not blunt. How one was raised does not excuse ignorance. Being raised differently is not an excuse for being impolite to someone who is seeking support. As a society we should be searching to help others not hurt them.

So many people who are about to undergo this procedure are combing through these postings. Here we have a very typical situation where someone is searching for help 4 months post-op and we have a few individuals posting the same critical bs we face every day from people that judge us because we are overweight. What kind of message is that for people who are here seeking answers to the very same questions we had in the beginning.

This is not some teen gaming site or a social site for the politically improper. It is a forum for information, research and support. If someone cannot put a sentence together that is supportive and/or constructive, either cut and paste one that fits the bill or stay silent.

Love it! Exactly how I feel.....

[Poolguard 55]

Sometimes we all need a reminder that this whole thing is a lifestyle change. While nobody specifically talked about lifestyle changes in this thread, it might be worth mentioning that there are many facets to our lifestyles that need changed. Adding more exercise or activity for example. Another lifestyle change, and one that seems to be partial to this topic, is changing habits. Old bad habits die hard - we all know that. But that does not change the fact that those old bad habits must go. We all need to find the will power and mental strength to overcome these struggles. These threads always turn into a bunch of drama because people do not like what other people post. Wouldn't we all be better served if we all just posted our thoughts and let the OP take from the posts as they wish? Nobody is going to like everything that people say/post and we ALL need a bit of harsh reality/reminding when we are at the cross roads. Getting all sensitive about ones forum communication skills is no more productive than over-exaggerating the sympathy for those that get off track.

[gettingslim 86]

Sometimes we all need a reminder that this whole thing is a lifestyle change. While nobody specifically talked about lifestyle changes in this thread' date=' it might be worth mentioning that there are many facets to our lifestyles that need changed. Adding more exercise or activity for example. Another lifestyle change, and one that seems to be partial to this topic, is changing habits. Old bad habits die hard - we all know that. But that does not change the fact that those old bad habits must go. We all need to find the will power and mental strength to overcome these struggles. These threads always turn into a bunch of drama because people do not like what other people post. Wouldn't we all be better served if we all just posted our thoughts and let the OP take from the posts as they wish? Nobody is going to like everything that people say/post and we ALL need a bit of harsh reality/reminding when we are at the cross roads. Getting all sensitive about ones forum communication skills is no more productive than over-exaggerating the sympathy for those that get off track.[/quote']

You sir said it much better than I did.

[CassieWNY 100]

Sometimes we all need a reminder that this whole thing is a lifestyle change. While nobody specifically talked about lifestyle changes in this thread, it might be worth mentioning that there are many facets to our lifestyles that need changed. Adding more exercise or activity for example. Another lifestyle change, and one that seems to be partial to this topic, is changing habits. Old bad habits die hard - we all know that. But that does not change the fact that those old bad habits must go. We all need to find the will power and mental strength to overcome these struggles. These threads always turn into a bunch of drama because people do not like what other people post. Wouldn't we all be better served if we all just posted our thoughts and let the OP take from the posts as they wish? Nobody is going to like everything that people say/post and we ALL need a bit of harsh reality/reminding when we are at the cross roads. Getting all sensitive about ones forum communication skills is no more productive than over-exaggerating the sympathy for those that get off track.

Asking someone to be respectful does not mean "sugar coating" (see Tap Snap) nor does it suggest that constructive feedback which fails to be sympathetic should be avoided at all costs. We do need to have will power and mental strength to overcome struggles. Saying that - smart mouthed comments like "stop eating" and the like are really unnecessary and completely off base. They are not productive and MANY people spoke up to say that in a very constructive manner.

Your presumption is that a tough message is the only message? I saw a great deal of postings in there that encouraged exercise, activity, monitoring intake etc. What people spoke up about here were the flippant comments responding to a poster asking for support.

What I find very revealing is that you support the "harsh reality" approach and completely disregard and downplay a supportive, constructive, communicative approach. I believe you characterize it as over-exaggerated sympathy.

Clearly we would just all be thinner if we closed the fridge and stopped eating. Right? That's the solution from one of the earlier posters who has been called out. The harsh reality method of feedback that you support. The "tough love" approach as many call it. Tell these people asking for support that if they slip up it is because they are mentally weak and lack will power? I cannot believe I didn't think of that... That is why I have been FAT this entire time???????? Thanks.

REPLY to TapSnap - I am not going to dismiss your commentary on your youth. Based upon the content of your posts, your lack of remorse, and your complete disregard for the constructive feedback you received, it is glaringly apparent that you have a great deal of healing ahead of you.

[missybean 40]

I did not post that looking for "permission" to eat junk. I was sharing my struggle and hoping for some encouragement to get back on track. And partly I was posting just to be accountable to myself by making it public. I was being honest.

I really find that there is a lot of negativity and judgement on this forum.

The best advice I've gotten so far was the suggestion about a therapist. The rest is just nasty and judgmental. And to the person who said "stop eating ****"... You are about 4 days out' date=' right? I hope for your sake you don't struggle like I am at 4 months, but at 4 days food made me sick. That changes over time and it does get harder. I'm not making excuses for my choices. Just being real and looking for some help.[/quote']

I couldn't agree more. I have noticed how judgmental some people can be on here. It's a bit discouraging. I wish you the best in finding a plan that works well for you in helping curb eating habits.

[cathycnyrs 85]

Tough love should come from family, maybe the doctor, or the NUT, or maybe the personal trainer. Tough love shouldn't come from a complete stranger on a message board in a "support forum". Everyone on here has had a weight "problem", and everyone on here did something that caused that problem. This surgery may have 100% fixed it for some of you, but for others, they are still struggling like before the surgery... just maybe not as much. How would you have felt eating a hamburger and onion rings in a restaurant if a complete stranger came up and took your food and threw it in the floor and stomped on it and said, "You are fat because you eat XXXX"... STOP! The same points can be made in a NICE way. I personally will never listen and/or absorb comments from someone who is rude. Even if you have lost 100% of your excess fat and doing great right now, who's to say you won't become weak at some point and lose that control and gain every single pound back???? My doctor said that all the surgeries can fail, and if someone wants to bad enough they can eat around them. I also think that some people come on these boards, not just here but other sites causing discord for attention. Maybe they lack it in real life.... or maybe they keep everything stirred up there also. DRAMA. I don't need it. I want this to be a positive life changing event in my life, and when I keep seeing this kick butt attitude, I think well.... I didn't sign up for that. I want to make some friends and get positive support.

Some of my husbands family have really been ugly to me in the past few years. I told my husband DO NOT tell anyone in your family about my surgery. (Just like a lot of people don't want friends or co-workers knowing). He said he told his mother, Cathy is on a diet... and I'm like stop! She is not, they are not my support team. I want the people in my life that LOVE and support me behind me, the rest of them can kiss my tail. I don't need "nasty nice", I don't need "tough love"... I need support. What goes around comes around is about the just of it. I'm personally rethinking this forum. There are a handful of people that are all bad and tough that think they can "whip" people in shape.

This has a name. Another board I belong to has said it will stop, and every person doing it will be removed... it is called "trolling"! This behavior runs off the good people, and attracts more trolls.

Trolling is an Internet slang term used to describe any Internet user behavior that is meant to intentionally anger or frustrate someone else. It is often associated with online discussions where users are subjected to offensive or superfluous posts and messages in order to provoke a response.

[Poolguard 55]

Asking someone to be respectful does not mean "sugar coating" (see Tap Snap) nor does it suggest that constructive feedback which fails to be sympathetic should be avoided at all costs. We do need to have will power and mental strength to overcome struggles. Saying that - smart mouthed comments like "stop eating" and the like are really unnecessary and completely off base. They are not productive and MANY people spoke up to say that in a very constructive manner.

Your presumption is that a tough message is the only message? I saw a great deal of postings in there that encouraged exercise, activity, monitoring intake etc. What people spoke up about here were the flippant comments responding to a poster asking for support.

What I find very revealing is that you support the "harsh reality" approach and completely disregard and downplay a supportive, constructive, communicative approach. I believe you characterize it as over-exaggerated sympathy.

Clearly we would just all be thinner if we closed the fridge and stopped eating. Right? That's the solution from one of the earlier posters who has been called out. The harsh reality method of feedback that you support. The "tough love" approach as many call it. Tell these people asking for support that if they slip up it is because they are mentally weak and lack will power? I cannot believe I didn't think of that... That is why I have been FAT this entire time???????? Thanks.

REPLY to TapSnap - I am not going to dismiss your commentary on your youth. Based upon the content of your posts, your lack of remorse, and your complete disregard for the constructive feedback you received, it is glaringly apparent that you have a great deal of healing ahead of you.

I made no presumptions in my post - I stated clearly my thoughts. You are the one who made presumptions. I mention nothing of tough love. You are not the respect police or the forum FBI. Forum hypocrite, maybe. You see, you seek constructive comments as long as they are written in the way you want them written. However, we all do not share your brain, so if someone has a different constructive comment than your own, then you will just have to deal with it. Nobody is going to change how they post just because you say so. I know I certainly will not.