4 months out and falling off wagon

[cathycnyrs 85]

Poolguard, I wasn't even talking about your post. Six pages of posts have been in response to some really rude replies. I am only stating what 90% of the posters have stated since the original poster was pretty much attacked when asking for support. This forum has rules:

1. Everyone has a right to speak regardless of their perspective.

2. We take the "Be Polite" rule very seriously. We do not tolerate any rudeness. Any member who is intentionally unpleasant or disruptive may be banned without warning.

3. While we believe in free speech, keep in mind that this right is not absolute. Dissent is an essential part of any discussion where people are encouraged to express varying opinions; however, it is equally important to maintain both decorum and topicality as related to VerticalSleeveTalk.com’s mission.

5. Members will treat each other with courtesy and respect, especially when they disagree. We understand that bright, intelligent and educated people may not always agree, but personal attacks in the form of insults, abusive language or other means of obvious harassment will not be tolerated.

• Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.
  
• If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.
  

So, now I am a hypocrite... now I do have a problem with you. Why can't people just be nice. Why can't the original people that posted hateful things come back and say... you know what, maybe that was out of line. I want to support others, not make them feel bad. The administrators need to handle whatever... before all the people really reaching out and needing support - not TOUGH LOVE... leave.

So, you are saying you will say whatever you want whenever you want, and you will be hateful, and threatening and rude. I WANT A SUPPORT GROUP!!!!! Are there any administrators out there that will monitor this post and forum?????

[GoldyGirl 186]

what is so "bad" about saying "Stop Eating"....it is Simple, and to the Point...People are way to sentisitive. it was a persons advise talk or leave it. What is up with all this babysitting, and acting like Middle school, if you don't like what someone post just read past it, and move on with you day and GO Exercise! Just my thoughts.

[GoldyGirl 186]

what is so "bad" about saying "Stop Eating"....it is Simple, and to the Point...People are way to sentisitive. it was a persons advise talk or leave it. What is up with all this babysitting, and acting like Middle school, if you don't like what someone post just read past it, and move on with you day and GO Exercise! Just my thoughts.

[cathycnyrs 85]

This topic has made me feel that I cannot post here if I am struggling. I am also seeing other people post topics and beg for no negative feedback... really? I also feel like I've been belittled for stating what most of the posters have said here... be respectful, be nice and be supportive. In my opinion there are a lot of insensitive people here. If anyone on here could "stop eating" then there would not be a sleeve forum.

[rtaylorel 6]

I'm struggling. I've been eating things I shouldn't and until recently' date=' couldn't. bread used to be tough for me, but in past 2 weeks its fine (which is NOT a good thing). I've given in to too many Snacks that aren't healthy. I'm exercising a lot more lately so I've been hungrier, but I need to reel in these bad habits. I'm about 60 lbs down, but things have definitely slowed down--probably due to my poor food choices. Help, encouragement, tips or even gentle reprimands welcome.[/quote']

The best thing is to see a therapist or try contacting your nutritionist. The program I'm in the nutritionist say go back to the basics (2 Protein Shakes and a meal) good luck

[Mstrosec 28]

This topic has made me feel that I cannot post here if I am struggling. I am also seeing other people post topics and beg for no negative feedback... really? I also feel like I've been belittled for stating what most of the posters have said here... be respectful' date=' be nice and be supportive. In my opinion there are a lot of insensitive people here. If anyone on here could "stop eating" then there would not be a sleeve forum.[/quote']

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" - William Shakespeare

If you expect people to say and act the way you want them to, you're the one who is going to be disappointed.

I agree that people need to be supportive and encouraging. That may be what they are trying to do in their own way. But even when they come across as judgmental please don't let them control your feelings. If they say something that's not encouraging to you or another poster...ignore them and don't give them any additional attention...you be the encourager and I promise there will be many others who will also be encouraging...pay attention to the positive!

I don't normally get involved in threads like this because I'm not much for the drama. In fact, I didn't even join VST until I was 8-9 months post-op because I was not ok with all the judgment. I think a lot of that was my own sensitivity, to be honest. But I've read several of your posts and you seem so positive and nice it made me a little sad to read that you felt uncomfortable posting your struggles. I just want you to know that I will be positive and encouraging in all my responses so please feel free to post your struggles...that's what VST is here for. Don't let the few negative posts ruin it for you.

[CassieWNY 100]

Poolguard -

I would much rather have you continue to attack me personally than add further fuel to the fire for those who chose to ridicule and belittle the original poster. In fact, I encourage you and these other posters, the alleged "iron willed", to use me as your punching bag. Leave this original poster and her supporters alone.

I have no expectations for postings other than they abide by the rules which clearly (see cathy above) do not encourage these kinds of postings. I also respect that we should be polite to others.

I can agree to disagree. Let's leave the people looking for support to the ones that can support them. Clearly the message from the original poster is she is looking for something you are unable and/or are unwilling to give.

[TapSnap 357]

Poolguard -

I would much rather have you continue to attack me personally than add further fuel to the fire for those who chose to ridicule and belittle the original poster. In fact, I encourage you and these other posters, the alleged "iron willed", to use me as your punching bag. Leave this original poster and her supporters alone.

I have no expectations for postings other than they abide by the rules which clearly (see cathy above) do not encourage these kinds of postings. I also respect that we should be polite to others.

I can agree to disagree. Let's leave the people looking for support to the ones that can support them. Clearly the message from the original poster is she is looking for something you are unable and/or are unwilling to give.

I am not attacking anyone with my posts. It is cut and dry for me. People have the right not to like my opinion and I won't lose sleep over it. If I didn't care about what people do after surgery I wouldn't post. Some people respond different to different opinions . My self and a few others I have met respond better to a cut and dry answer. The honest truth of what you are doing wrong. If I had a problem and someone said it was alright and I don't get any backlash from doing it I am and most people will do it again. We see this in children all the time. If they get away with doing something with little to no backlash they will do it again and push the issue more and more till they get back lash. This is basic human nature.

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission."

- Grave Hopper

So people will go out of their way to do what they want and then ask for forgiveness after the fact. I see this in the forums over and over. Day after day people come here saying they haven't lost weight or they are doing something wrong. Well own up to it and fix it. You know you shouldn't do it but you continue to do it. When do you stop relying on others? I stopped relying on others when I realized it was my problem and not theirs.

We made ourselves fat over many of years of bad habits. You can't blame this on anyone else but ourselves. There are many reasons each of us have for getting surgery. But for me surgery was my last option after years of doing everything else from pills to meal plans to starving myself. In my head this is my last chance if I fail I will die young. I have choose to follow everything by the letter where I can.

I will not change how I post. It might not help this poster or even 80% of the people on this forums. But for the people it does help I will continue to do so.

Thank you,

John

[AngiD 95]

If you know you shouldnt be eating something but you still eat it? You are doing it to yourself. If you cant help from not eating junk food and things you shouldnt what are people on the internet going to do? Say its ok when its not?

I am one of the people that posted one of the so called "rude" comments (I am like the 3-4th person that posted). I am sorry but I am not going to sugar coat my answers to anyone. If I answer a question I am answering the question based off my own experiences, other peoples posts, and how I learn.

I am going to tell people how I see it. I am sorry I didn't spend years of my life trying different weight loss pills and programs. then spend months getting everything done to have this surgery. I didn't spend a lot of money and go through a surgery to eat what made me fat before surgery.

I don't see how people can do everything in their power to get healthy and then say f**k it I am going to eat this slice of greasy pizza or deep fried breaded chicken nuggets (pink slime). Why go back to old habits that made you the way you were before surgery? I don't know about everyone else but I go out of my way every day to stay away from things that I had before surgery.

Before people start saying I never have anything nice to say or they never see me helping ill leave you with a thread I posted a month ago that has be pinned and has over 3,000 views. Its a list of free samples and discounts on Protein supplements and Vitamins. I contacted almost all of the links personally and even called 50% of them to get more information before posting them. http://www.verticals...g-free-samples/

I also have spoken at seminars and helped with support group meetings. I have posted recipes on the forums and even got voted best recipe at my hospitals protein party (brings in venders and people so people can taste protein products and recipes). I didn't sugar coat anything when I was speaking to 50+ people at the seminars and I was thanked just not by the people who were attending but also other speakers and the doctors that were there for being open and honest.

So I am not sorry for my post. I am sorry that people find my opinion not to there liking. I won't change how I post because some people do need tough love and to hear it how it is.

First she did not ask for you give her permission to eat whatever she wanted and your first post was just judgement it was not helpful, there was no advice or suggestions that has helped you. I am very happy that this process has been so easy for you and that you never needed any support or advice or a safe place that you can voice your struggles without judgement.

[SleevedSylvynn 23]

I didn't read anywhere that he said it was so easy for him -- or that he never needed support. I read that a cut and dried answer is better than no answer at all...

[Poolguard 55]

Poolguard, I wasn't even talking about your post.

And I wasn't talking about yours. I used the quote feature to clear that up.

[Richard Foor 655]

I tend not to respond to these arguments when they repeatedly occur but just this once I would like to point out that a lot of the time the comments just keep escalating and getting ruder all the time so what I believe started as a different style of giving advice has escalated to an all out argument where everyone is calling everyone else names when they don't even really know each other. Till its all said in done almost everyone ends up breaking the forum rules. Also it should be noted that the moderators dont read every thread so if you think they should get involved you probably should report it to them so they can make a judgment on where it all went wrong. Just my observation not taking sides either way.

[TapSnap 357]

First she did not ask for you give her permission to eat whatever she wanted and your first post was just judgement it was not helpful, there was no advice or suggestions that has helped you. I am very happy that this process has been so easy for you and that you never needed any support or advice or a safe place that you can voice your struggles without judgement.

Nowhere in my post said it wasn't hard for me. Nowhere in my post did it say I did not go some where for help when I did struggle. The people that gave me the straight up truth of the matter hit me more then the people that see everything in rainbows and unicorns.

It is hard. I never said it was easy. I struggled less than most because I came into this knowing what I was getting into and told myself its this or it nothing. I failed at many things I have done. I don't have the option at failing at this.

Many people jump into surgery without doing research. They then think they can do whatever they want and lose weight.

Again if you don't like my opinion just skip over it and give your own opinion to the poster. No need to start a forum war over someones opinion.

[Poolguard 55]

So, you are saying you will say whatever you want whenever you want, and you will be hateful, and threatening and rude.

Nothing I said was hateful, threatening or rude. So yes, I will be posting my opinions as I please in the future.

[AngiD 95]

Nowhere in my post said it wasn't hard for me. Nowhere in my post did it say I did not go some where for help when I did struggle. The people that gave me the straight up truth of the matter hit me more then the people that see everything in rainbows and unicorns.

It is hard. I never said it was easy. I struggled less than most because I came into this knowing what I was getting into and told myself its this or it nothing. I failed at many things I have done. I don't have the option at failing at this.

Many people jump into surgery without doing research. They then think they can do whatever they want and lose weight.

Again if you don't like my opinion just skip over it and give your own opinion to the poster. No need to start a forum war over someones opinion.

Well if I missunderstood your post the I sorry.