female only Self concious of my nekkid body for the first time ever.....

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

So I'm starting a new relationship and am soooooooooooo self conscious that we have not even "done the deed" yet because I can't bring myself to expose my naked body! I've NEVER EVER EVER had this issue, At 360 pounds, men knew what they were getting when the clothes came off.. and my body looked like what they were hoping for.. somewhat full breasts, my skin was filled out, and relatively un-cottage cheese like... but now.. my thighs are wrinkly.. my belly is hanging lower than ever.. my breasts are more like breastcicles. I am so not used to this feeling.. I've always been an uninhibited "lights-on" kind of woman but now I'm like a fish out of Water. Just the thought of anyone seeing my nekkid body makes me want to vomit.. and that's not exactly sexy.

Anyone go through this? Really it's bothering me a lot.

[PrettyLilButterfly 124]

I am going through the same thing. Granted, I've been with my partner going on 7 years...but it's not the same. At 250lbs, I was like you, lights on nothing held back. I was so confident and proud. And now....I can't even stand the sight of my body in the mirror. I feel like a shrivled piece of fruit

I often think I wouldn't be able to be with anyone else. If her and I split up, I don't know that I would let anyone see me... but the fact is, they need to love ALL of me for me... not just me with clothes on!!

i'm proud of the new me and love me.. and you should be proud too! Let it all out girl!!!

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Have you talked to him? How much has he seen? Not trying to be overly nosey, what I mean is have you not been without clothing?

Maybe start with talking and letting him see your belly or such, introduce him to your body. I have not heard so much about it here, but I do know from some articles I read some women had to gently remind the partner that it was Ok to touch the "wrinkly" parts.

For me, oddly enough my Hubby is really impressed with the more tone areas but really likes the softness of the belly and thighs too. I guess, technically, he really just likes being with me.Try and be sure you have that also, the rest will figure itself out.

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Have you talked to him? How much has he seen? Not trying to be overly nosey, what I mean is have you not been without clothing?

Maybe start with talking and letting him see your belly or such, introduce him to your body. I have not heard so much about it here, but I do know from some articles I read some women had to gently remind the partner that it was Ok to touch the "wrinkly" parts.

For me, oddly enough my Hubby is really impressed with the more tone areas but really likes the softness of the belly and thighs too. I guess, technically, he really just likes being with me.Try and be sure you have that also, the rest will figure itself out.

Yesterday was the first day I even let him see me in my workout clothes (sans body shaper so he might have an idea now that stuff under there is jiggly and that I do indeed sport a lovely pannus) but he's actually never seen anything that's going on under my clothes.... I'm also fighting with the fact that he's 7 years younger than me, a former athlete on his countries national team AND ridiculously handsome (like imagine james franco and george clooney had a baby together)UGGGGGH.

[dgoerlitz 96]

Yes...to some degree. I bought some shorter shorts...I can't bring myself to wear them outside. They really aren't that short...just shorter than I am used to. I also usually wear swim shorts with a tankini to swim. I bought some regular bottoms and they feel SO weird when I put them on. They look "ok"...I'm just not used to other people seeing this much of me. Adjustments...

[BethinPA 305]

So I'm starting a new relationship and am soooooooooooo self conscious that we have not even "done the deed" yet because I can't bring myself to expose my naked body! I've NEVER EVER EVER had this issue' date=' At 360 pounds, men knew what they were getting when the clothes came off.. and my body looked like what they were hoping for.. somewhat full breasts, my skin was filled out, and relatively un-cottage cheese like... but now.. my thighs are wrinkly.. my belly is hanging lower than ever.. my breasts are more like breastcicles. I am so not used to this feeling.. I've always been an uninhibited "lights-on" kind of woman but now I'm like a fish out of Water. Just the thought of anyone seeing my nekkid body makes me want to vomit.. and that's not exactly sexy.

Anyone go through this? Really it's bothering me a lot.[/quote']

I'm going through this now too. When we were getting closer to the taking the clothes off point I made a point of explaining to him that I had had this surgery and that my body had really changed in the past year. He was surprised, and said he never would have guessed. He was supportive. So when we got to the full Monty, it was a positive experience, and I still felt sexy. I would say that my breastcicles (love that, by the way! Can I steal it?) do still bother me, and that I don't get as stimulated that way now that they are like squeezing Jello. But he seems cool with it/them. And it had been so long for me, that I decided to just let go and enjoy it! Hopefully you will do the same with this guy - he sounds like a hottie! My guy friend tells me that once a guy gets to the getting naked phase it really doesn't matter what everything looks like anymore, they are just ready to get to it! So enjoy it, all of it, and let him enjoy all of you!

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Thanks ladies. Turns out, I was worried about nothing. I'm still not 100% comfortable with myself like I was before but he didn't burn out his eyes with a red hot fire poker after gazing upon my nekkidness so it's all good.

[keldolbeth 262]

As a single woman, this was a big concern of mine even before surgery. It's funny, your mindset is very much like mine... the whole "knowing what you're getting yourself into" before surgery and now my body is a mystery/surprise now. I also was a lights on, anything goes kinda girl. I told many friends that I didn't want to be more self-conscious about my body after surgery than I was before. Well that's exactly what has happened and I still want to lose 50 more pounds. I feel pretty good about myself in clothes (and shapewear) but do not like what I see when I'm naked. Since I was self-pay for VSG, I'm not sure plastics are going to be an option. Luckily, I've only been with one new guy since the skin problem got annoying and he was so consumed with his own body issues I don't think he noticed. lol Most guys I've been with in the last 18 months knew me at my highest weight. Now they don't notice the skin issues (I don't think fwb really care what I look like- lol), they are just happy about how much more we can do in bed! Just curious, does your guy know about the surgery? Mine did not but he knew I had lost a lot of weight. I don't really have any advice for you, just thought I could relate. I guess it's just another change we have to deal with... it can't all be sunshine and roses.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So glad this turned out well!

I had this same trepidation... i warned this man so much that when he finally saw me naked, he was a little puzzled about what i was talking about... bless his sweet heart. Perhaps he is blind? i don't know... perhaps "lust is blind"? He was kinda like... well... all women our age who have had kids and stuff are a little jiggly... haha. He always tells me i am hot.

So, I often keep a sexy bra on - not for his sake, but for mine. Somehow the boobs with no breast tissue in them anymore is what bothers me the most. Well, my inner thighs bother me even more and you will laugh at me, I tried hiding them with stockings worn up really high.. he peeled those suckers off so fast i didn't even have time to protest... so I got over being self conscious about that.

I think that at some level we have to let go of the self consciousness... and just enjoy.... glad you are able to with your boyfriend!