My story is similar to many others, but it's mine

[squawprincess_2013 14]

I am 54 years old, mother of two grown daughters, grandmother of 5 grandsons and 1 special needs granddaughter. My weight problems started around the age of 30, after I quit partying. At first I just gained a few pounds here and there. I yo-yo dieted for years. I tried Herbal Life, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig. I walked miles, and I got a gym membership. I lost, I quit, I gained it all back and more. I had a hysterectomy in 2007, and my hormones and metabolism went nuts. At my heaviest, I was 283. My husband said if I reached 300, he would leave. I think I wanted him to since there has been no intimacy, or affection for that matter, for well over two years. With no partner, no friends, and the responsibility of caring for my 92 year old mom on my own, I really didn't care anymore. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. I was borderline diabetic. 3 of 4 of my siblings are diabetic and there was prior history of diabetes and heart disease in the family.

One day I received a phone call from a bariatric nurse from my insurance company. She and I talked about all the co-morbidities, and she suggested I look into bariatric surgery. I went to a seminar, and the journey began. I had gone to Jenny Craig for 9 months, so I had satisfied the diet part. I went through all the tests and was scheduled for the vertical sleeve to be done on July 31st.

I drove myself to the hospital that morning, had the surgery and spent the next two days being sick and alone. I had no visitors, no phone calls. My husband was working out of state, my mom was at home alone. I called her when I wasn't throwing up. My daughter picked me up and gave me a ride home in my car. She has 3 kids of her own and doesn't really have the time or inclination to stop by to check to see if my mom or I need her help in any way. She calls if she wants me to do something for her.

I am 6 weeks out today. I'm not sure how much I've lost, but I think it's a little over 35 pounds. I overate at Breakfast, so I've felt pretty sick for the past couple hours. I knew half way through I was full, but forced it, took bites that were too big, and didn't chew long enough. I don't often do this, so I deserve to be suffering now. Physically, I think I'm doing alright. Emotionally, I am sad a lot. I often wish I could have lost the weight and kept it off with diet and exercise. I know in my heart, it would never have stayed off because I lack willpower and the desire to be healthy. I figure if no one cares, why should I. I'm working on my feelings. I'm hoping when more of the weight comes off, I will feel better about everything.

So that's the story. Please don't be too critical of me. Good luck to each of you as you go through your sleeve journey.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I am 54 years old, mother of two grown daughters, grandmother of 5 grandsons and 1 special needs granddaughter. My weight problems started around the age of 30, after I quit partying. At first I just gained a few pounds here and there. I yo-yo dieted for years. I tried Herbal Life, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig. I walked miles, and I got a gym membership. I lost, I quit, I gained it all back and more. I had a hysterectomy in 2007, and my hormones and metabolism went nuts. At my heaviest, I was 283. My husband said if I reached 300, he would leave. I think I wanted him to since there has been no intimacy, or affection for that matter, for well over two years. With no partner, no friends, and the responsibility of caring for my 92 year old mom on my own, I really didn't care anymore. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. I was borderline diabetic. 3 of 4 of my siblings are diabetic and there was prior history of diabetes and heart disease in the family.

One day I received a phone call from a bariatric nurse from my insurance company. She and I talked about all the co-morbidities, and she suggested I look into bariatric surgery. I went to a seminar, and the journey began. I had gone to Jenny Craig for 9 months, so I had satisfied the diet part. I went through all the tests and was scheduled for the vertical sleeve to be done on July 31st.

I drove myself to the hospital that morning, had the surgery and spent the next two days being sick and alone. I had no visitors, no phone calls. My husband was working out of state, my mom was at home alone. I called her when I wasn't throwing up. My daughter picked me up and gave me a ride home in my car. She has 3 kids of her own and doesn't really have the time or inclination to stop by to check to see if my mom or I need her help in any way. She calls if she wants me to do something for her.

I am 6 weeks out today. I'm not sure how much I've lost, but I think it's a little over 35 pounds. I overate at breakfast, so I've felt pretty sick for the past couple hours. I knew half way through I was full, but forced it, took bites that were too big, and didn't chew long enough. I don't often do this, so I deserve to be suffering now. Physically, I think I'm doing alright. Emotionally, I am sad a lot. I often wish I could have lost the weight and kept it off with diet and exercise. I know in my heart, it would never have stayed off because I lack willpower and the desire to be healthy. I figure if no one cares, why should I. I'm working on my feelings. I'm hoping when more of the weight comes off, I will feel better about everything.

So that's the story. Please don't be too critical of me. Good luck to each of you as you go through your sleeve journey.

Critical.. no way. Congratualtion on doing something for YOU. I'm sorry you are not getting a ton of support from your family, but we are here to listen and be sounding boards.

You seem to already know the best advise... follow your plan or there could be consequences.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We ALL wish we could have done this on our own, but making such a positive choice for you is amazing!. We all walk the same path here. Welcome, and best of luck to you!!

[jessleeluvsjb 17]

If you dont have support from your family....then you have support from us here! Congrats! Once this Journey is over you will feel so much better!!

[squawprincess_2013 14]

Thank you for being so kind! You are doing well, I can see from your ticker! You are almost to goal. I envy you. Hopefully, I will do as well as you!

[kvlasy 195]

Congratulations on making such positive changes in your life! I think you should give yourself a pat on the back!

[adargie 159]

You might benefit from some counseling or group therapy. I am going to ask my dr when theres is at my next appt. I have support from my husband and mother but I feel sometimes that they get sick of hearing about it. So this site is awesome to be able to hear others stories and to be "in the same boat". You took the biggest step by having the surgery done for you. I think the hardest part is mental, your on the right track.

[Roo101769 742]

Your husband was wrong to give you an ultimatum. Marriage is supposed to be "in sickness and in health". So you probably already had issues, as you stated. But making the choice to have the surgery was brave and wise. You should care because you are important. ( if to no one else you should be important to yourself) Once you feel better physically start doing something for yourself. Find a hobby or activity that gives you a sense of peace and well being. You deserve happiness, so find it. It is very hard to be the one everyone depends on. ( yet rarely are they there for your needs) Just do it for you if for no one else. Sometimes the first step to change is the hardest, yet the most rewarding. I wish you so much success and a future of happiness and peace.

[pjb84 16]

Squaw_princess, Welcome to the journey! We are all here with varying degrees of support and reasons. Welcome to Vst. I haven't had the surgery yet - hopefully in the next 2 mos. I'm preparing on a day to day basis for the eventual reality. Thin for the first time since my teen years will be so awesome! I can hardly wait! Welcome to the best years of your life - the healthy ones! May God bless you on this journey. pjb

[BKLYNgal87 503]

Sounds like you are the sort of lady who has always cared for everyone else but yourself. I applaud you for taking steps to improve your life, and wish you continued success in your journey. But, as others have suggested, you are being way too hard on yourself. Self-love is a critical part of this process. Obesity isn't simply about lack of willpower or lack of desire for health. If it was that simple, we wouldn't need WLS. In varying degrees we are all fighting a battle against hormones and genetics. It's a very difficult battle but the odds become less insurmountable with tools such as VSG.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Don't beat yourself up. Sounds like you are having a dark day today. I agree that if there was a psychologist involved pre-op, it might be helpful for you to touch bases again. We all get tired of being strong.......and since you don't have anyone supportive in your circle, by all means come here to the forum to rant or to cry. You did the right thing to take control of your health. Family is resistant to control. Find an outlet for your stress. If you cannot afford a copy of 50 Ways to Sooth yourself Without food or The Emotional First Aid Kit, I will send you mine. Then when you are done, you can pass it on. If you go into my profile on this site, you can send me an individual private message. We have all been through some junk. Don't be shy.

[MHughey 7]

I am 54 years old' date=' mother of two grown daughters, grandmother of 5 grandsons and 1 special needs granddaughter. My weight problems started around the age of 30, after I quit partying. At first I just gained a few pounds here and there. I yo-yo dieted for years. I tried Herbal Life, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig. I walked miles, and I got a gym membership. I lost, I quit, I gained it all back and more. I had a hysterectomy in 2007, and my hormones and metabolism went nuts. At my heaviest, I was 283. My husband said if I reached 300, he would leave. I think I wanted him to since there has been no intimacy, or affection for that matter, for well over two years. With no partner, no friends, and the responsibility of caring for my 92 year old mom on my own, I really didn't care anymore. I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. I was borderline diabetic. 3 of 4 of my siblings are diabetic and there was prior history of diabetes and heart disease in the family.

One day I received a phone call from a bariatric nurse from my insurance company. She and I talked about all the co-morbidities, and she suggested I look into bariatric surgery. I went to a seminar, and the journey began. I had gone to Jenny Craig for 9 months, so I had satisfied the diet part. I went through all the tests and was scheduled for the vertical sleeve to be done on July 31st.

I drove myself to the hospital that morning, had the surgery and spent the next two days being sick and alone. I had no visitors, no phone calls. My husband was working out of state, my mom was at home alone. I called her when I wasn't throwing up. My daughter picked me up and gave me a ride home in my car. She has 3 kids of her own and doesn't really have the time or inclination to stop by to check to see if my mom or I need her help in any way. She calls if she wants me to do something for her.

I am 6 weeks out today. I'm not sure how much I've lost, but I think it's a little over 35 pounds. I overate at Breakfast, so I've felt pretty sick for the past couple hours. I knew half way through I was full, but forced it, took bites that were too big, and didn't chew long enough. I don't often do this, so I deserve to be suffering now. Physically, I think I'm doing alright. Emotionally, I am sad a lot. I often wish I could have lost the weight and kept it off with diet and exercise. I know in my heart, it would never have stayed off because I lack willpower and the desire to be healthy. I figure if no one cares, why should I. I'm working on my feelings. I'm hoping when more of the weight comes off, I will feel better about everything.

So that's the story. Please don't be too critical of me. Good luck to each of you as you go through your sleeve journey.[/quote']

I am so sorry for your family not beenig there for you please Don't give up you have come a long way Don't Trash that love yourself I'll be Sleeved on the 27th this month we can talk anytime may Good keep Blessing you

[RebecaSparkles 247]

::hugs::

I know that feel.

Chin up- be proud of the good choices & don't let the bad ones keep down.

allons-y