Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Best and worst "compliments"



Recommended Posts

I love getting the "Hey Skinny" comments and it's also fun to have people say, "Wow! You really look good," and have them keep staring at you doing double takes as if they can't believe what they see and it really is you.

One of the oddest ones I've gotten now twice is "I bet you're more confident now" and I'm sure it's just me but I kind of hate that one. It makes we want to say that no I'm not because it took a lot of confidence to put my 325 pound body out there like nothing was wrong with it and to like me for me at that weight. I don't feel more confident in that aspect -- it's just that they are seeing the real me that I've known I was all along.

I don't know -- maybe it is confidence. I know that I'm much more comfortable wearing sexy clothes now in the sense that I know people won't be talking behind my back and saying, "Look at that fat girl. Omg, I can't believe she is wearing that!" but it wasn't like I didn't want to wear those things earlier or feel like I was beautiful even when some people didn't see me like that. I guess it's the curse of being the fat girl with the pretty face that got away with some stuff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love getting the "Hey Skinny" comments and it's also fun to have people say' date=' "Wow! You really look good," and have them keep staring at you doing double takes as if they can't believe what they see and it really is you.

One of the oddest ones I've gotten now twice is "I bet you're more confident now" and I'm sure it's just me but I kind of hate that one. It makes we want to say that no I'm not because it took a lot of confidence to put my 325 pound body out there like nothing was wrong with it and to like me for me at that weight. I don't feel more confident in that aspect -- it's just that they are seeing the real me that I've known I was all along.

I don't know -- maybe it is confidence. I know that I'm much more comfortable wearing sexy clothes now in the sense that I know people won't be talking behind my back and saying, "Look at that fat girl. Omg, I can't believe she is wearing that!" but it wasn't like I didn't want to wear those things earlier or feel like I was beautiful even when some people didn't see me like that. I guess it's the curse of being the fat girl with the pretty face that got away with some stuff.[/quote']

I learned a long time ago that I have always had more confidence in myself than most of my very skinny friends. I'd laugh at them when they would complain about another girl and they would use the word fat to describe them.

I'd say um no she isn't fat, she is average size they would look at me and say no you are average... And I always thought they had eyesight issues...

I learned however that many women big or small have MAJOR self confidence issues. I have always had self confidence I was never uncomfortable in public and quite happy with a positive outlook on life and myself. i traveled a lot had made friends with people everywhere I went and I learned that when you feel good about yourself and give off a positive vibe that's what people see. I never have gotten offended easily and I noticed people never tried to hurt my feelings by calling me fat. I already knew I was fat I'm not blind I see what I look like I was just comfortable in my own skin.

So my friends and family just saw me as average because that's how I carried myself.

People see me and mind you I'm only 56 lbs lighter and a size 20 from a 26 and they are like OMG you look amazing!!! If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that line I'd have at least 65 dollars! :)

I didn't have surgery because I was unhappy, I had it to help control my diabetes. And it's been amazing for me that my numbers are in normal range after 12 weeks.

I'm the same me, I still tell myself I'm beautiful every day when I look in the mirror.. If you can't tell yourself that then you can't expect anyone else to! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister in law just tried to compliment me (I guess) by saying that when she used to be heavy she didn't look as pretty as me. And said even though I'm thick I still look nice. Ok, I've lost 78 pounds since January! And she doesn't know I've had this surgery so boy will she be shocked 6 months down the road when she can't say I'm pretty for being heavy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister in law just tried to compliment me (I guess) by saying that when she used to be heavy she didn't look as pretty as me. And said even though I'm thick I still look nice. Ok' date=' I've lost 78 pounds since January! And she doesn't know I've had this surgery so boy will she be shocked 6 months down the road when she can't say I'm pretty for being heavy.[/quote']

That was always a stupid thing for people to say.. You're pretty for a big girl or good looking for being a big guy.

No you're just upset that I'm better looking than you are.. And I'm fat...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister in law just tried to compliment me (I guess) by saying that when she used to be heavy she didn't look as pretty as me. And said even though I'm thick I still look nice. Ok' date=' I've lost 78 pounds since January! And she doesn't know I've had this surgery so boy will she be shocked 6 months down the road when she can't say I'm pretty for being heavy.[/quote']

What kind of a "compliment" is that? Sounds a bit passive aggressive, no?

Congrats on the 78 lbs! That is amazing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad always used a compliment he picked up growing up in the Bronx:

For a fat girl, you don't sweat much.

Note: he never said it to me, it was more of a general line when I was growing up and neither I nor my sister were even slightly overweight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad always used a compliment he picked up growing up in the Bronx:

For a fat girl' date=' you don't sweat much.

Note: he never said it to me, it was more of a general line when I was growing up and neither I nor my sister were even slightly overweight.[/quote']

I've never heard that one before!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know this sounds awful but......My husband in the past has commented on my butt as being a shelf. Well the other day while bent over he said he could no longer call it a shelf-a$$. He said my shelf was gone. Thank goodness I I have become shelf-less. He is clueless how to make a compliment towards anyone including me. Believe it or not this was supposed to be a compliment.

Keep in mind this was coming from a man that would introduce me to his friends, family and co-workers as his large Scottish wife and didn't think that there was anything wrong with the word "large".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep in mind this was coming from a man that would introduce me to his friends' date=' family and co-workers as his large Scottish wife and didn't think that there was anything wrong with the word "large".[/quote']

I hope you introduced him to your family, friends, and coworkers as your genitally challenged husband ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What kind of a "compliment" is that? Sounds a bit passive aggressive' date=' no?

Congrats on the 78 lbs! That is amazing.[/quote']

Thank you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That was always a stupid thing for people to say.. You're pretty for a big girl or good looking for being a big guy.

No you're just upset that I'm better looking than you are.. And I'm fat...

Haha I know, right?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Haha I know' date=' right?![/quote']

:) I'm pretty sure I've startled a few people by saying that to their faces... 1 girl in particular was a friend of one of my really good friends. Whom she was always super jealous of. I never have understood jealousy. Anyway... The 3 of us were out one night and I was being hit on quite a bit, and she wasn't so she said to my friend, she is getting hit on more than you are! ( I think she thought she was hurting my friends feelings by saying that) and my friend said yeah she always gets hit on like this.. It's a normal night for her...

So she looks at me and says well you are pretty for a big girl... And I responded with No, you're just pissed I'm prettier than you are and getting hit on by guys you find attractive and I'm fat.. She seriously just looked at me and fumbled for words... I've always been kinda sarcastic and blunt.. My friend just laughed... Because she has heard me say that to people before..

If people wanna be passive aggressive in trying to "compliment" you. I say be blunt back. :)

In a few months your sister in law will have to come up with a new way to give you a compliment... Because the word big and you won't be in the same sentence!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×