Best and worst "compliments"

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

The boss over sales can NEVER remember anyones name... EVER (its awful but true) he will call you 5 names before he gets it right... so my name right off the bat everytime he sees me now... "skinny minny" its a good thing i dont need him for a raise.

Today a co-worker says "you done losing weight cause your face is too thin"

I replied with "funny, no one ever had the guts to tell me that my face was too fat before. when you're thin its like everyone has a right to make comments about your weight....and you dont have that right - but thank you for calling me thin"

I guess she thought about it, because later in the day she came up to me to say she was sorry, and that i was right, she has no right to make comments about anyones weight and that she was proud of me for wanting to get healthy.

best comment - we were going to a friends wedding, and i came out dressed up - my husband, dad, step mom, & son all said at the same time WOW!! simple comment but had a power punch to my heart!

[jjinWA 511]

It's funny how women will be bolder then men in their comments about my obvious weight loss and change in appearance. 52 lbs does show! I had two comments this week from men that made me smile. First male friend,that I had not seen in months, said "Wow you look great." Of course no mention of weight loss. I know he could see the loss, but was too politically correct to say it verbally. Second male acquaintance mentioned that I looked great and loved my new haircut. I have had a new do lately. I smiled and thanked him and said yes, the new haircut did wonders, but the 52 pound weight loss really helped! He said I knew there was something different. You look great! But then you were always beautiful. What a sweetie.

Women will be much more direct and outspoken. Like "you have lost a TON of weight!" Ha! Hmmmm a ton, eh? Didn't realize I was THAT heavy...

[downsizingdiva 459]

I do my best to listen to the TONE instead of the WORDS that are being said. A friend who says excitedly, "You are shrinking down to nothing!!" with a smile and a hug means something much differently than a "friend" who says, "You are shrinking down to nothing" with a bit of a sneer and a sideways eyeball.

I also know that I take things differently from people who I don't care much for than I do from people I love. I know I brace myself for insults from people who never have nothing nice to say and even when they do, I may hear it differently than they intend.

We can't control what other people say or do, but we can totally control how we react. I am choosing to take every word as a great compliment because I am riding high on excitement with my emerging new self and NO ONE can take that away from me.

going to try to do the same thing. .great idea!

[downsizingdiva 459]

I have really appreciated this thread, probably more than any other. THIS is the stuff that I worry about. Not drinking liquids for weeks or extra skin but how to navigate through the negative people out there. I work in a hospital. I'm a manager. I probably have a decent to good relationship with the majority but as a boss, I'm a natural target. And nurses LOVE to judge and comment. I've told only 3 people outside of my family that I'm doing this (I'm pre-sleeve) but I'm not naive that some will figure it out. When I've lost weight before, I felt sabotaged by others comments, the good and the bad. I'm not a shallow person and I just can't wrap my head around people who only see peoples physical features. I told my doc and np that I was worried about how to respond. They suggested having come backs planned. I appreciate all the clever ideas here. The good thing (one of the many) is that this time I'm doing it for good, and old enough to not care what people say (at least not like I did at 25). I tell people being in your 40's is liberating. I need no ones approval. It feels good when you share in my success but unsolicited comments won't be received well.

Best compliment when telling my close friend I was gonna do it: "I'm so happy for you, you're so bubbly and full of life but you will be even more so and feel so much better". She's a keeper!

I have to age that these are the issues that I sori about the most too.

[skikyd 165]

This is definitely not the easy way![/quote

heather,

This route is not easy. It requires commitment and trying power.

I send to think that way.

It's just not true.

Surgery is a HELP, a tool,

not a magic bullet.

In the long run you will be the winner.

Skikyd

[Alfie 58]

How about this weird ...uh compliment? From my younger brother when I lost a lot of weight before (right now waiting for my Dec 9 sleeve.)

"Oh my gosh you're emaciated" and in the next breath "you look wonderful"

lol apparently emaciated = wonderful looking!!

Around the same time a very close friend said "Don't lose anymore weight or your face will look very old." In the meantime, I was still 60 lbs away from being at the high end of a normal weight.

Edited October 23, 2014 by Alfie

[finediva 979]

My good girlfriend complemented me on losing weight. So also added that she did not like my big hips. Ok..... Now she constantly tells me I'm pretty. I haven't really taken offense, but I ponder if she thought I was not attractive before..... Of course I always smile and say thank you.

[skikyd 165]

People usually do not know what to say.

They may think you weight loss is due to an illness like cancer..... And not want to ask.

The other thing I like o say is: " the bitch of it is, no one notices the first 75 pounds"

At a 25 pound loss my mother told me I was " gaining weight".

At 85 pound loss she " noticed". I has lost some weight, but had started to gain........

Screw them all. it's all about YOU.

About you being more healthy.

[Camarolegend 185]

The question "when is the rest of you getting here?"

[superbariatricbabe 180]

Best: "wow where is the rest of you!"

Worst: "you know after losing all that weight your going to have tons of extra skin"

Weirdest/awkward: my friend said to her husband "look how much weight Jess lost!!" he looks me up and down and smiles at me and my friend said "wait, did you just check out my best friend!?" Lol!

Omg all my mother talks about is how much extra skin I'll have after this process is over- it's the first thing and the last thing she wants to talk about every time I see her- and she's constantly hatching new plans to "fix" me further. I had to stop her one day and say "one project at a time, Mom."

She also seems to be obsessively predicting how great my life will be and how beautiful I'll become. It's pretty upsetting. While I am also excited about my future, I'd love it if my mother wouldn't make it so perfectly clear how disgusting she thinks I look.

Truthfully I was pretty happy even at my largest weight- I had gastric bypass so I could have a child and be a healthy mom. Hopefully I'll be a more empathetic mom than my own lol!

[tfarr 270]

My brother told me last week when I told him about me up coming surgery he says " wow, your gonna save a ton of money on food" lol

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

One of the bosses say "wow, you are really sticking to this diet" I said "its not a diet, its away of life" he said "look who is drinking the kool-aid" ???

[Camarolegend 185]

I see the question marks skinny girl...I believe it is a great compliment. He's saying you are buying into the healthy lifestyle. Good stuff!

[jacileggs 402]

Lol

Edited October 27, 2014 by jacileggs

[ImLooznit 171]

BEST; Hubby called me a "SKINNY ASS"....have waited 27 years to hear those SWEET WORDS, my new nickname is "skinny Butt" BUT I LOVE IT!!!!.. He is now getting serious about doing the sleeve..... and that was my second goal...............