Best and worst "compliments"

[CrazyJaney 775]

On several occasions now I have not been recognized by people I have known for years. It is inspiring and unsettling at the same time. I am still me just almost 1/3 less of me. The hey skinny comments are fun but I a far from skinny! I am 5-10 248lbs with a BMI over 30. I love my sleeve and would not undo it if I could but I never expected the attention my weight loss would draw.

This is the stuff that worries me. It's the awkward, unsettling comments that have thrown me off before. Well meaning sometimes seems like a backhanded, snide remark. Maybe I'll be better equipped at 45 to handle it than I was at 25. I hope.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Back when I was yo-yo dieting, I had a successful 50 pound loss with the Atkins Diet. My mean old rotten ex-husband told me "Every time you lose weight you get jowls." Man, what an idiot.

Now (9 years later)that I have my three week old sleeve, I am looking forward to kinder comments from family and friends about how good I look in skinny jeans!

[youthguy80 65]

"Used to you looked like two people walking down the hall, now just one."

[skikyd 165]

<p>This is not weird, just bizarre.<br><br>

Yesterday, one of my clients told me how "wonderful" I look. She then went on to tell me that she has always been underweight and that her doctor told her that she had to put on pounds (and she is and she did). In turn, I told her she looks wonderful (and she does).<br><br>

She then started asking me what clothing size I am now (WTF!?!?), what clothing size I was before (WTF-er!?!?!) and what size I would like to be. She accurately guessed that I am a 10 and that I was close to 8s before I could even form a sentence. She asked me what my goal size was or if I was finished losing. I did tell her that I would love to be a 6. She then GRABBED MY WRIST, PULLED UP MY SLEEVE and told me I would look sickly at a size 6. My bones are obviously far too big to ever be a six and I would not look good at all.<br><br>

She's lucky she's in her late 60s. I don't let ANYONE, including Mr. LSL, grab me without a bit of pain in return. I know she meant well, and it was all a compliment, but it was BIZARRE.</p>

May be she wanted to swap some clothes with you!

[Luana526 61]

I am a teacher and wish to God I would have done this over the summer so I could just have come back thinner with my "I've been seeing a nutritionist and personal trainer" stories. Instead, people will be watching me get smaller and smaller and I really don't want that kind of attention as I tend to be private. You know, the million questions of "how are you doing it?" "what are you eating" "aren't you losing too fast?" "You're not eating enough." Believe me, I've been working at this building for 17 years and I can hear everything already! Don't get me wrong, I take compliments well (and welcome them!) but there are a lot of nosy, gossipy people where I work. Well, my close co-workers have seen me drinking those Protein Drinks for lunch, so after surgery I'll just claim, "Whew! All that hard work (and near-starvation!) is finally kicking in!" Ha ha ha . . . my surgery is Friday (9/26) and I just want to get this over with! Sigh . . .

[rileyoshea 15]

I work in an elementary school and last year I stood at the front door every day and saw the students as they came in to school. I also helped load many into cars in the afternoons and I have worked here for almost 10 years. At the start of this school year a couple of the students in 4th grade asked me who I am because they did not recognize me. I did change my hair a little too but nothing that drastic! I guess a 60 lbs. weight loss over the summer threw them off a little!

Sometimes the most hurtful things are not something someone says. My brother, who was somewhat against my surgery, has yet to say a word to me about my success. He never called to check on me while I was in the hospital either.

Dear epeeler:

I'm sorry about your brother - I have a brother whom I love but he is so against me having the surgery. He thinks it will be a very bad move and that I will regret every minute of it. My big brother is very overweight, he suffers from gout and all sorts of hip and knee issues and he now insulin dependent. I get it. BUT - this isn't about the brothers in our lives - this is about us. Taking charge and moving forward. To live our lives for us and not for someone else's image.

My hubster cannot wait for my surgery - he is tenatively scheduled for the first week in January. He feels that I started this journey for us both and he is so excited for our futures.

I have been selective on who I have told about the surgery and I have full support from everyone sans 1 pretty important part of my life.

You look fantastic and you have every reason to be proud of yourself.

[onlybroomegirl 250]

I'm the mom of 2 pretty amazing teenage boys. They were cutting up the other day & made an off color remark about someone who was heavy. I chimed in & said, "on behalf of fat people everywhere that's not ok! & you should be kinder"???? cue the maternal lecture...

Then my 16 yr old said, "yeah but you aren't fat!"

I almost cried

[Chrystee 838]

Thanks for the compliment but weightloss surgery will always bee seen as a cop out to many in the world because we have ppl that keep it a secret out of fear what others think yes others think the say its no one business but the cone on Internet site and tell it all to other strangers I've share all my success and help three different women who knew about surgery but didn't kno how to go about it if you want to keep it to yourself fine but don't go around all righteous like diet and exercise got you here because that's bull I walked that's it I don't track my food I didn't really have to do anything to be honest and I'm down 120 pounds in 7 months who could do that with out the sleeve ..

It is NO ONE's business but your own. If you choose to tell everyone about surgery, that is YOUR prerogative. Only my very close friends and family know my decision.

[Yasman 195]

At first I was getting a crap load of compliments on my hair. "Your hair looks great!"

Umm. Thanks, but I don't think it's my hair, I think it's the missing 30 lbs. lol.

I totally get you on this one. A very good friend's parents occasionally invite me into their home for holiday or special event gatherings, and they have seen me at my heaviest. I did not tell them about my WLS, but my friend did tell his mom about it (i didnt know that at the time). Anyway, the next time I saw his mother I was down about 25lbs and when she saw me she grabbed my arms and looking directly into my face told me over and over how great I looked and what have I done to my hair (yes, I had made a drastic change to my hair... cut about a foot and a half off the length going from long long long hair to just shoulder length). Anyway, I thought the reaction to my haircut was just so over the top. Alex told me later he'd told her about my surgery. I'm not sure if she was trying to be kind to me by demonstrating her exuberant support without "outing" a secret to a roomful of people, or if she really just liked my hairdo That Much.

to me the 25lbs were not noticeable given how heavy I was at the outset... 367 HW -25 lbs didn't make a change in clothing sizes or anything so... who knows?

[changingmylife4ver 17]

Best: When I walked into our reception area this past week, one of our receptionist said "good morning little bit"

I have been called skinny mini a lot. I can honestly say, I have not had any negative comments to my face. I have no idea what is said behind my back. If they are talking about me then they must at least notice me :-)

[toeknee726 1]

Uncle : "who knew this was under all that"

Friend mother : "keep it up, you will now be able to get a husband"

Couple : wife : "who is that?" Husband : "how do you not know, we've know her forever"

Friend (on phone with her mother) : "yea, she's smaller than me now"

Guys : "I always had a crush on you" me: "if you wouldn't get with me when I was fat, you're sure as hell aint getting with me now"

[HumanMerelyBeing 287]

Yes, I too hate the comments, "OMG!! You've lost a TON of weight." Ouch.

Also, how do you all handle the question (especially in front of large groups of people), "Sooo, how much weight exactly have you lost?" I hate the idea of answering that to anyone - my husband doesn't even know.

Recently, when it happened to me at a large executive conference in front of several of my bosses and senior most executives, none of whom know about my surgery and most of whom have just kindly said 'you look great', I laughed and said, "Oh you know, at least 2 or 3 pounds." Everyone laughed and we were able to move past it, but really! - what a position to be in. Oy!

[slw260 23]

I don't remember if I replied to this or not, but my best compliment was, "It's not the physical weight loss that stands out so much to me as it is the life that you have in your eyes now."

I haven't had any "worst" compliments so far. Only a couple of Negative Nellies who like to tell me who they know that had WLS and gained back everything they lost.

109 pounds lost so far and I'm feeling great!

[bikrchk 1,313]

I had a lady call to me form her minivan as I was filling my motorcycle at the gas station...

"You don't look big enough to hold that thing up! You're a tiny lil thing"!

ROTFLMAO! It IS a big (850 pounds) bike!

[Camarolegend 185]

Good: you look 10 years younger.

Not good: you look like you've lost weight, but not that much! (After I told him how much I lost after asked). Of course we are old friends in which honesty is not an issue. Still sucked.