New to site and discouraged...

[Jamsey 13]

My surgery is set for 10 days. I've read the good,bad, and the ugly. I'm 41 single and worry about excess skin and dating. Have to explain why I will eat so little. I've thought of compression garments that only works when your dressed lol. I know I have a food addiction and its my best friend. But I also know my poor choices is killing me. Diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity....I could use some words of encourage from former sleevers.

[Sonia Singh 25]

All I can tell you is that you will have good days & bad days but you wouldn't regret it.

[Snufflegus 80]

Hi Jamsey,

I am 15 weeks out and feel so much better and am down 70lbs since surgery. Many people who lose weight regardless of how they do it deal with skin, so that is nothing to worry about you can simply say you have lost a large amount of weight because if you are undressing you will probably have had a conversation about that by then. On the food thing I have been very open with everyone about my surgery but I understand why many don't. I know not practical but would work in a dating situation to order an appetizer, then an entree and get "full" on the appetizer and take the entree home for later or maybe go somewhere with tapas or other small meal options and no one will notice.

This truly is one of the best decisions of my life I was 24 when I had my surgery and my husband is 31 and had the surgery 3 weeks after me, it has been a journey but is exciting figuring out how things work for us and learning our new way of living life!

I'm an open book about my journey much like many on here so if you have an specific questions, let me know.

[Jamsey 13]

Hi Jamsey' date='

I am 15 weeks out and feel so much better and am down 70lbs since surgery. Many people who lose weight regardless of how they do it deal with skin, so that is nothing to worry about you can simply say you have lost a large amount of weight because if you are undressing you will probably have had a conversation about that by then. On the food thing I have been very open with everyone about my surgery but I understand why many don't. I know not practical but would work in a dating situation to order an appetizer, then an entree and get "full" on the appetizer and take the entree home for later or maybe go somewhere with tapas or other small meal options and no one will notice.

This truly is one of the best decisions of my life I was 24 when I had my surgery and my husband is 31 and had the surgery 3 weeks after me, it has been a journey but is exciting figuring out how things work for us and learning our new way of living life!

I'm an open book about my journey much like many on here so if you have an specific questions, let me know.

[/quote']

Thanks for kind open words. I'm looking forward to the future but I guess in time I will come to terms with my new life! I will find u if I have questions. Thanks again!

[MissErika 65]

Snufflegus gave great suggestions about eating out but I am here to discuss loose skin.

I am 21 and I started out well over 300 pounds. I have lost 100 pounds before in my life and had loose skin after that. People always preach, "Oh you're so young, it will snap back!" But I have been very heavy my entire life and I have terrible, dry skin from multiple endocrine issues. So yeah, the loose skin definitely turned me off to the idea of WLS because it's a lot faster than normal dieting.

But someone said, "Erika you may not look good in a bikini but you will look smokin hot in a good pair of jeans and fitted top!" That motivated me. We may not look the best naked but we would look AMAZING out in public in normal clothes! Our confidence will be through the roof and our HEALTH WILL BE GREAT! No medications, no high blood pressure and be able to have a fun and active life. And I would take that with saggy skin anyday. Plus I could just chop it off/get a lift later on in life. Heh. So try not to be too upset by the skin and as for dating - there are many loving and understanding people out there that won't be bothered by it.

And food is all of our "best friends". Fast, cheap and convenient and always there for us through the tears, boredom, late night TV and basically whatever emotions we have. But best friends try to bring you up, not down. I'm happy that you are beginning to realize this and changing your life. Good luck with everything!

[luckysmomma 407]

Hey, I am about the same age & single, too! lol It is a tough road. The first month is pure hell. Walk, walk, walk as soon as you get out of surgery - even though it will be the last thing on your mind. Protein & Water are crucial. I haven't had anyone really notice about my eating because I kept my surgery 100% private & everybody just thinks I am one of my diets for the billionith time. I exercise, but I know I will have some excess skin..no way around it really. I have a bestie who has had all the plastics...it's not worth it for the $$, scars, and the results, in my opinion. Best of luck to you.

[BettyLou2013 13]

Once the weight comes off your health and confidence will improve! It doesn't matter about the excess skin. Once you fall in love with the right person they will look past those imperfections! Just take it one day at a time.

[ElginChris 87]

Jamsey,

Dont let the smaller issues keep you from reaching your healthy goal. I too am a big guy with a lot of weight to lose. In my case, i would rather have the loose skin and be fit and healthy, than the obese person I am today.

[FRED1977 186]

Snufflegus gave great suggestions about eating out but I am here to discuss loose skin.

I am 21 and I started out well over 300 pounds. I have lost 100 pounds before in my life and had loose skin after that. People always preach, "Oh you're so young, it will snap back!" But I have been very heavy my entire life and I have terrible, dry skin from multiple endocrine issues. So yeah, the loose skin definitely turned me off to the idea of WLS because it's a lot faster than normal dieting.

But someone said, "Erika you may not look good in a bikini but you will look smokin hot in a good pair of jeans and fitted top!" That motivated me. We may not look the best naked but we would look AMAZING out in public in normal clothes! Our confidence will be through the roof and our HEALTH WILL BE GREAT! No medications, no high blood pressure and be able to have a fun and active life. And I would take that with saggy skin anyday. Plus I could just chop it off/get a lift later on in life. Heh. So try not to be too upset by the skin and as for dating - there are many loving and understanding people out there that won't be bothered by it.

And food is all of our "best friends". Fast, cheap and convenient and always there for us through the tears, boredom, late night TV and basically whatever emotions we have. But best friends try to bring you up, not down. I'm happy that you are beginning to realize this and changing your life. Good luck with everything!

Awesome post and advice made me smile, thanks for being so real with your post.

[FRED1977 186]

I was 316 pounds at my heaviest down to 259 pounds, I can see the skin getting a little loose but nothing to major. I won't let it bother me living a healthier lifestyle is better than being overweight and dead because I wouldn't stop eating myself to death. Finding relationships are easy keeping it going is another. My suggestion is to look for someone that has already had the surgery so the know what your going through. My wife and me share this bond and its awesome. I could never love another woman as much now that we do. We know what each other goes through just to make it.

[IdahoGirl32 89]

I think it'll be a turn-on for women that you aren't sitting back and passively letting things happen in your life, but taking the wheel and working hard to make yourself better. There's nothing better than a man with a plan! The loose skin thing won't be an issue, I bet, because once you're at that point she's already got a pretty good idea that she's into you. Good luck with everything and keep us posted!