Surgery Did you keep your surgery a secret?

[LifetimeLoser 208]

Sorry...to answer your question...I told anyone who would listen. I am more conservative about it now. Only when people comment on my weight loss and start asking me questions do I go into it. If he just gives me a compliment I simply say, "thank you."

[danpantz 64]

I told my closest friends and family before the surgery, none of them said anything negative.

Once i hit 150 lbs lost i started to tell people i had wls. Anyone who even questions it gets the same response. "Did you see what i looked like before? Id have this surgery again tomorrow if i had too."

Miserable people try to inflict there misery on the people around them. Either cut them out, or overwhelm them with your new found happiness.

[lalyc 17]

Miserable people try to inflict there misery on the people around them. Either cut them out' date=' or overwhelm them with your new found happiness.[/quote']

Love, love love this response! Don't let anyone steal your happiness with their misery!

[luckysmomma 407]

Told no one & I am so glad I haven't!

[buplee 556]

I only told my immediate family and no one else. My medical history other than my neurosurgery is my business. I had one family member remark about my weight loss and stated before I could say anything, that she knew people who had surgery and are now gaining their weight back. She said all of this before I got out a word as I was getting dinner at a family affair. She made a comment about how little I had on my plate and that she's a big girl and that was her snack portion. No wonder she weighed at least 325 and went on to say she loves food too much to have surgery. Sometimes a smile from you and someone with a big mouth will save you from saying anything at all.

Btw- she talked so much I never had to answer the question and went back to the table with my wife to eat. Good luck to you.

[PGee 318]

I decided not to tell people about it for all the reasons others have mentioned...plus I know for a fact my family would not be supportive.....my sister & husband know.....that's it....family members, friends, coworkers don't know...I even made a Facebook page under this name to keep it off my real facebook page

However, I just came back from vacation (visited my in laws)....I have a sister in law who has struggled with her weight her entire life....I mean ENTIRE life(she's now in her 50's)....so I told my MIL & SIL about the surgery.....I didn't want them to think I had found some miracle pill/diet....and wanted to plant that seed, answer any questions, and offer support if my SIL wanted it.

Their paths and my family/friends paths don't cross.....I still don't know what I'll tell my family when they finally notice (I've lost over 30 pounds since preop, and they haven't noticed)

It's your decision on who/if you tell.....I feel it's been my struggle, my business, no one else's.....good luck with whatever you decide! The only "right" answer to this question is what works best for you.

[ashelaine 382]

My husband, parents and in laws and one friend are the only people I told- however- my mom assumed my family only comment meant extended family so she told quite a few family members. All in all it's worked well.

[cindymg 629]

Yeah, I tell everyone -- mostly because I would never be able to keep track of who I've told and who I haven't. It's an age-related thing.

No negatives so far. I really have to laugh when someone says, "oh, I never thought of you as someone who needed that." Really, the size 18/20 clothes that I was bursting out of wasn't a clue? How about the swollen face, breathlessness on the stairs, numerous doctor visits for diabetes and high blood pressure meds?

No negative responses. But if they come, my basic philosophy is, "F *** 'em if the can't take a joke!"

[Fit2btied 122]

I haven't even told my husband at this point. I will discuss it with him once my insurance approval is in and I get a surgery date. I will probably not tell anyone else. It's my body, my life, and my decision. Everyone else will be told I had gallbladder or hernia surgery, even my kids. Will I eventually tell people? Maybe, but I really don't wan people talking about me or judging me when they aren't invested.

[tami wright 6]

My husband and my kids and my best friend knew. My husband and I got married two months after my surgery. So we had family in town for that. My mother asked when i picked her up from the airport "what are you doing to lose weight, you look great!" I thought she would be negative about WLS but has ended up being one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't regret keeping it secret although I do share it pretty openly now. Looking back on the reason I kept it secret..... I was afraid of failing, again!! Everything I tried always failed in the weight loss department. I didn't want everyone to know and then fail again in front of them. Now at 4 months out, I KNOW I am not a failure at this, I feel good about discussing it!

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[Agamenon 18]

For the first few months during the research stage only my wife knew. A couple of weeks before the surgery, once the decisions (Doctor, date, etc) had been made I told my immediate family and only the closest of friends. A support circle is important. Thats it.

Toxic people will always be around all of us and we cant let "the noise" of bad comment, fears, unknowledgeable people get the better of you. If you did your did your proper research (as I did) then probably in your circle you are the person most informed to make a good "informed" decision. Horror stories will always come by word of mouth but the truth is unless you talk to the surgeon of the horror story, you're only getting word of mouth, uninformed and probably biased responses.

[Vickybli 64]

I told my close friends and immediate family. I was very insecure about my decision and needed their support and i did get a lot of it. I didn't intend to tell anyone else but my mum was terrified and told anyone who would listen so now everyone knows but it's ok. I haven't had any negative commets at all. Who are these people who know everyone who has gained back weight? From all the people I know who have had surgery only one has gained back at bit of weight - she lost 150lbs and gained back 10! So what? She's still 140 down and healthier and prettier than ever 8 years post op. So far I have not met one person to tell me that (s)he has regretted having surgery

Anyway what you do is your own business. if you want to tell people tell them - if you want to keep it to yourself than do that. and if people are being negative just ignore them. They're probably just being bitter because they've never accomplished anything in their life and they can't accept the fact that other people can take their fate into their own hands.

Good luck

[loveelaura 52]

I told my sister and my parents. I might tell my brothers and their wives after I get the surgery but time will tell. My brother's gf had lapband done last winter and there was lots of "chatter" about that so I would rather keep it on the down low. I was really nervous to tell my sister and parents but I explained the reasons WHY I needed to have it, I explained the procedure and stats and that this was just a tool to help me since its obvious I can't lose 100+ on my own. I didn't let anyone talk until after I'd said my piece. They had more questions about the surgery but were all very supportive. I was originally going to fly out to Oklahoma alone but my mom will be coming with me now. I've got larger friends and do not plan on telling them either. At least not until ive lost a good chunk of weight. Will not be telling my work about it either. Just that I'm taking a week of sick time for surgery, a week of vacay time to recover and will be working half days my first week back. They don't need to know what I'm having done!!

Life is too stressful already to have to worry about negative people so either pay them no mind or just avoid telling that type of person! I want to concentrate on ME for once in my life and not pleasing people

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[back2barb78 890]

I made a completely different decision- I chose to share with everyone that I was having surgery. The reason being was that at work, we run around all day like crazy working the main one being me and I need that support when I go back that I need to take my breaks and I need to drink my Water. I do know that when I go back there will be a million questions and I will have no problems with that, however I do not plan on discussing my weight on a daily basis and know that more than likely will be an issue. I plan on changing jobs in the near future as well anyway, but I will definitely lay down the law and let people know I don't want to be asked how much I weigh/ have lost anymore than any other woman. There's a difference to me between sharing on here with all of you versus co-workers.

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[Tinywiny 1]

Tuesday will be three weeks since I had my surgery and I haven't told anyone. Not even my boyfriend who I live with. To avoid him learning I visiting my mother. Who lives out of state. I've been telling my mom that my stomach is sick. My family is to judgemental and my mom would give away my secret. One thing I can say it's a very lonely feeling. I plan on telling my boyfriend when I go back home next month