Surgery Did you keep your surgery a secret?

[Disabledaccount 154]

I'm curious. I feel like keeping quiet about it because I don't want to deal with everyone's opinions about WLS and non-stop comments about my weight/diet. I'm generally a private person and don't want everyone knowing my business. I just want to drown out the noise and stay focused on my journey to good health and get support from fellow VSG'ers. Is this odd? Did you tell everyone? few folks? what were their reactions?

[Brighteyes 237]

I have pretty much done the same thing. I wanted to 'keep out the noise' while I was making my decision and doing all the research. However, I have found that as I get closer to surgery I have started to tell select people. Their reaction has been nothing but supportive. It's been helpful for me. But go with your gut instinct on this.

[nmck 68]

I told my family and closest friends eventually during the pre-program or right after. I still have not told most of the people in my life and I prefer it that wway for now. Once you tell, you can't untell!

[Missylaneous 27]

I'm curious. I feel like keeping quiet about it because I don't want to deal with everyone's opinions about WLS and non-stop comments about my weight/diet. I'm generally a private person and don't want everyone knowing my business. I just want to drown out the noise and stay focused on my journey to good health and get support from fellow VSG'ers. Is this odd? Did you tell everyone? few folks? what were their reactions?

I am in the same boat. I'm 27 years old and I've done my best to cut out the toxic people in my life. My Mom passed when I was 19 so eating my feelings and being a shut in helped contribute to my weight. My husband knows and my little sister who lives with me knows. I have told two friends--both slim and petite women. They haven't made any rude comments or anything to me. I decided not to tell my MIL or my husbands Grandmother and cousins. They are all biased against overweight people. To be blunt, they just hate fat people. I've been with my husband since I was 16 and even though I was just chubby back then his Grandmother would pinch my fat and ask me if I had lost weight when she was really being rude because I had gained. I will tell my MIL in the future.

I don't want anyone in my business. I don't want to deal with the negative comments that come from two places: 1. ignorance 2. jealousy. Either they have never had a weight problem and do not understand how I cannot "just get off my a** and do it myself." Or they do have a weight problem and won't make their own life changes so they want to put me down. Later on down the road I will probably be open about it. Right now--this journey is a personal one and the only people allowed on this ride are those who will not put me down.

I decided to tell my father's sister a few weeks ago to gauge her reaction. She asked me if I would actually be able to give up food. In my father's family, food equals love, comfort, and is the center of everything. They are all heavy. She told me good luck but just seemed so shocked that I would willingly give up food. This was while she placed a bulk size bag of candy on the table next to an apple pie and a chocolate cake. So needless to say I will not be visiting her for a while after my surgery lol.

Whatever you choose---good luck to you and I hope you end up surrounded by only positive people!

[swizzly 901]

I'm sort of in love with not explaining things to people who don't have a need to know, and just with not telling personal info of any kind. So I'm not a tell-er in general LOL. No regrets on that one.

[Shells_Almost_There 357]

I was counseled by the psych guy to not tell anyone. He has had WLS as well, and said that it's better to not make it hugely public (unless a person really wants to - personal choice of course), because of the scrutiny people then subject you to. I agree with him, and decided to tell only a few close friends and my mother. No one else in my family knows, although I will end up telling my step dad. So, right now, a total of 7 people know...soon to be 8. I am not ashamed, but I don't like being under scrutiny like that! A bunch of people at my work have had surgery and everyone knows -- that's just not for me at this time in my life. (By the way, I'm realistic - eventually word will probably get out but for now, here's my line: "Thanks for noticing I'm losing weight. I'm working with my doctor and a nutritionist, following a high-protein, low-carb diet.") - which is all true Good luck to you!

[time4me2013 20]

I'I've IIve of

I'm curious. I feel like keeping quiet about it because I don't want to deal with everyone's opinions about WLS and non-stop comments about my weight/diet. I'm generally a private person and don't want everyone knowing my business. I just want to drown out the noise and stay focused on my journey to good health and get support from fellow VSG'ers. Is this odd? Did you tell everyone? few folks? what were their reactions?

I've told my mom, my brother, and a cousin. I won't be telling my MIL or husband's side of the family because all they do is gossip. I actually like my MIL, but don't tell her anything I don't want everyone to know. Other than that, when people notice I am losing weight I will tell them that I am eating less and exercising more (which is truthful).

[Auntvick 45]

I told my sister then she became very negative. Always making comments about how the people SHE knows that did it were successful at first then gained weight back. I proceeded to thell her that my urologist wanted me to wait 6 months because of my history of kidney stones. She stopped asking and talking about it then. I have been sleeved for almost a month, have lost over 50 pounds since May and she is none the wiser. Did I lie? Yup. But I cut the negativity out. The people that you think should be the most supportive sometimes aren't. Use your best judgement.

[homersmomma 77]

I decided not to broadcast my choice to anyone outside of my immediate family. I have head a lot of negative opinions by my friends and associates how wls is an easy way out. I wish that were true. I am having a surgical procedure to help me achieve something I cannot do on my own. It's just a tool in my tool box that I intend to keep to myself.

[Missylaneous 27]

I hate when others love to remind us that people who get WLS gain the weight back. And? That's life. Right, wrong, or indifferent we make mistakes. I'm morbidly obese so I see it as I can either take a risk and use this surgery as a tool to help me get on the right path and make better choices for myself. If I gain weight back---I will have to start all over again just as I would if I didn't have the surgery. So it is better for me to try to lose weight on my own, fail, then give up and hate myself?

I hope I remain successful once I get the surgery. But I see it as a 2nd chance at life not a cop out or the easy way out.

[lalyc 17]

I tell anyone if they ask. I have mentioned I am having surgery in September and if it is someone I feel comfortable with, and if they ask what kind of surgery I'm having I tell them. So far, everyone's reactions have been positive. I have done enough research, and am secure enough in my decision that I don't really care what anyone else thinks. My husband, daughter and close friends - even my boss- have so far been very supportive.

[supbanana 153]

I wanted to. But I told my mom, because I knew she would want to know, and next thing I knew she was telling everybody. I know it's somewhat petty to be mad at her for that but I'm a very private person and I feel like she and her loud-mouthed boyfriend really betrayed my trust. Part of me feels like never telling them anything again. :/ I guess it's not a big deal that people know because a couple of people have asked me about it due to their own interest in it, but I would have been happier if no one knew.

[raven123 97]

I told my family and my best friend. Everyone has bee great! My sister and husband are going with me to Mexico. My son offered his home for me after the surgery. I was afraid I would get questions because I'm low BMI right now but I've been much higher and don't want to go back there.

[nsquared 232]

I told my parents and that is it. I doubt I will ever feel the need to tell more people than that.

[LifetimeLoser 208]

I'm pretty stubborn. Once I make up my mind I am going to do something there is pretty much nothing that can get in my way. That being said I told everyone once my mind was made up. I expected people to have his or her own opinions. When the time came when someone said to me, "No you don't need to do that. Don't do it!" I was pretty firm and just told them that "I am already in this." "I put my deposit down and the date is scheduled."

Even if people can't understand the investment you have in the surgery...most people can understand an investment in terms of thousands of dollars.