What Name Do You Go By?

[Carlene 12]

By golly, I have to admit that I had never given this any consideration, but did you know that if a man wants to take his wife's last name when they marry, it's no easy thing (in most states)?

When I got married, I just took my marriage license to the DMV and they changed the last name on my DL. I also had to send a certified copy of the license to Social Security. Everything else was easy.....the credit cards, bank accounts, etc.

But a California man and woman tried, using those steps, to change HIS last name to HERS and guess what? It was a big no-go. So they called up the ACLU, who, of course, promptly filed suit against the state of California.

A 2004 Harvard University study found that the number of college-educated women who kept their surnames upon marriage rose from about 3 percent in 1975 to nearly 20 percent in 2001. What about the LBT girls....did you keep your last name, or take your husband's?

[Bandida 0]

:wave:I hyphenate my name because it is a tradition in my home land...I almost dropped my fathers last name and took my mothers maiden (i hold a grudge against him)but my mom wouldn't let me do it...She said it was disrespectful...So i kept my maiden name, added my married name and now my childrens school can't get them straight...Confusing enough...

[Devana 0]

When I married in 1972 I kept my original name, however, nobody respected that. I would sign contracts (for utilities etc.) in my own name and everything would come back in my husbands name. It was a small town, what can I say. I finally gave up and took his name, mainly because it really wasn't that important to me.

I know of a couple of interesting situations. One woman I know wanted to change her name. She was estranged from her family and had a disastrous 9 week marriage and didn't want to keep either name. So she had a naming party. Each invitation had spots for 5 name choices. At midnight, we all read out our name suggestions and the reasons for our choices. Some of them were hilarious. This was in the UK in 1985 and anyone who was there at the time will remember that "The Eastenders" had recently made it's debut as well as the Australian soap "Neighbours". There were lots of choices from those shows. Some people chose mythical names. It was fun. She then went into the bedroom with her sweetheart and emerged an hour later with her chosen name which she uses to this day. She chose a french name which sounds good even when anglicised.

A few years later a young couple I know chose not to give their newborn son either of their surnames for various reasons so they gave him a last name that was made up of both their middle names. Interesting.

[Big girl banded 0]

My first marriage i took his name, BIG MISTAKE> 12 yrs later i still occaisionally get things with our name on it.

My second marriage i kept my own last name. I am no less married but if i took his last name i would sound like a porn star. He was ok with it.

My girlfriend in Cali got married. They both changed their last names to something new. The figured they were starting a life together so they started with a new last name that they both chose. It wasnt hard at all. Loop holes. There is always a loophole

[Wheetsin 714]

I begrudgingly took my husband's CURSE of a last name because it meant a lot to him. We spent a lot of time discussing it and looking at alternatives (e.g. taking another of his family names that people here could at least pronounce, hyphenating, doing the middle name switch, etc.) But he stuck to his old-fashioned roots, and I opted to take his name rather than hurt him by not doing it.

At least we know right away when it's a telemarketer on the phone, but never once has the hostess called the right party. :confused:

[Carlene 12]

I begrudgingly took my husband's CURSE of a last name because it meant a lot to him. We spent a lot of time discussing it and looking at alternatives (e.g. taking another of his family names that people here could at least pronounce, hyphenating, doing the middle name switch, etc.) But he stuck to his old-fashioned roots, and I opted to take his name rather than hurt him by not doing it.

At least we know right away when it's a telemarketer on the phone, but never once has the hostess called the right party. :confused:

Wheetsin, you are a good wife.

[Carlene 12]

My middle son and I used to play a game....what if this person married that one. He said if his sister (Chris, for short) married a boy in the neighborhood named Jason Cross, her name would be Chris Cross.

And if she married Jeff Case, they could have a son and name him Justin Case.

We came up with such combinations as Perry Winkle, Roy Rogers, and Paula Walla. But nothing beats a young woman I know who married Mark Brooks. Her name, believe it or not, is Brooke Brooks.

[MarySue33 0]

I kept my maiden name until my daughter was born and then took her dad's last name and use my maiden name as my middle name so we would have the same last name. (You guys are the only ones who get to see the 'Sue' very often) I have used my maiden name as my middle name for the past 20+ years and through two marriages.

I have since divorced from my second (and final) husband, but kept his last name and my maiden as my middle for my chidren's sake. He adopted my daughter, so my kids and I have the same last name.

Professionally and on all legal documentation, I am known by all three names . When I am referred to as DS or DD's mom I just go by first and last to make it easy for people.

I have a good friend who kept her first husband's name when she remarried for continuity sake with her daughter. Not sure I would have done that, but she has kept that name for the past 15 years and it works for them.

[Kat817 19]

The woman who shared a room with my Mom when I was born, also had a daughter. She named her Donna Lee....perfectly fine, except her last name was Donnely. They told my Mom at least then when she married, she would always have her maiden name....poor kid!

My oldest DD, hated her name (he last name) she was the butt of jokes with it in school--and her father was just that, he was NEVER a Dad or a Daddy. My current DH was always her Dad---but the ex would never sign her over, nor would be support her, but that's another story!!!

Anyway, all through HS she said she was going to be adopted when she turned 18. Instead she up and got married herself, thus changing her name. She was married for 6 years, and divorced. Last year, when she was 25, my DH finally adopted her (yes it can be done!). When her divorce finalized she took his (DH's) name, legally, for the first time since she was 5 years old!

Me? I took both my ex's last name, then went back to my maiden upon divorce, and now happily carry my DH's last name. It may seem old fashioned, but it was something I was very happy, and excited to do---I was no longer a school girl, but I still did the school girl thing, of writing my name...Mrs _________, Mr & Mrs_________, Kat________....would do it again, in a heartbeat!!

Kat

[Wheetsin 714]

My middle son and I used to play a game....what if this person married that one. He said if his sister (Chris, for short) married a boy in the neighborhood named Jason Cross, her name would be Chris Cross.

And if she married Jeff Case, they could have a son and name him Justin Case.

We came up with such combinations as Perry Winkle, Roy Rogers, and Paula Walla. But nothing beats a young woman I know who married Mark Brooks. Her name, believe it or not, is Brooke Brooks.

I know a Justin Case. I also know a Justin Thime (pronounced "time"). And I know an Anita Johnson. And I went to highschool with twins, Richard & Harry - last name Ball.

[silry 0]

i couldn't wait to take my husbands last name! first, my dad was a deadbeat so it just irked me to be carrying his last name. i hated it when i saw his last name on my college diploma... PLUS it was leech - man, try going through your younger years with that one! and the stupid questions... "are you related to robin" (wrong spelling!) my husbands name is pretty common and actually, his sister and i have the same first name. that weirded him out for a while... calling his wife by his sisters name. LOL. the only thing that i don't like is on his credit report, it confused his sister and i. okay. now i'm rambling!

[emmasmom60 0]

I married at the ripe old age of 37, so I had had my last name for quite a while, and I kept it. Also it is easier (Wilson vs. Rasmussen), and I didn't feel like changing my nursing registration, etc. However, when our dd was born, we/I stuck her with my dear hubby's last name. My dh would have gladly taken my last name, or we once joked that we should become the Wilmussens.

Laura

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I took my DH name. I was 17 though so I had no idea that I could do otherwise. BUT now that I am working towards a PHd, Dr Chase sounds better

[amillerjones 0]

I am one of those college graduates that chose to keep my maiden name. I sometimes hyphen it with my husband's, but legally my name is still my maiden name. My maiden name is the name on my drivers license, social security card, and my credit cards.