Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Name Change (Adult Humor)


Tired_Old_Man
Sign in to follow this  

Recommended Posts

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?"

The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."

"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."

The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER: The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000.

The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed:

"Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rlcpd

      Two months out from hiatal hernia repair.  Surgeon said to expect a lot more flatulence...something about the 'air' no longer being able to 'burp' out so comes out the other end.  That is my experience but have no understanding of why that swallowed air cannot be 'burped'. ???
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        As I understand it since your stomach is smaller and not completely resting against your diaphragm anymore you no longer have the ability to "push" burps out as well. Plus, since its smaller and we don't digest slower the trapped air moves a lot quicker out of the stomach so its no longer available to burp out. Hence the other option for removal.

    • Lizette1122

      Anyone had the TORe procedure? How did it go? How much weight did you loose? 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 3 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

      3. buildabetteranna

        Your so close now! It's gonna be great :) Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to seeing how it goes!

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×