Secret? Yes or No.

[Kelsy 1]

I am not sure if this thread is floating around or not. However, I am curious if you told your family,friends,co-workers that you were having the band done or had the band done or did you just keep it all to yourself? Are you private about the band or more open and upfront to people in your life?

My immediate family, A best friend and a couple of people that i work with know about my pending surgery.. One co-worker had the band herself and the other? A nosey woman who purposly "overheard" us talking. Sucks for me, because that woman has a big mouth and loves office gossip.

I am a private person for the most part and i really did not want people to know what i am having done. I feel that it is going to be hard for me now because that big mouth knows about it and she will tell people. So if i try to pretend it's something else, they'll know i am lieing and i don't like that, i don't want that.

I'm not embarassed to have the band or anything, but i just hate being put on the spot and they're constantly going to watch me and see what i'm eating at lunch..making me feel self concious asking how much weight i've lost.. I guess i don't know how to accept it.

My family is wicked supportive as is my best friend. I already have co-workers asking why i've been going to so many appointments. bleehhh. It's nobody's business but my own. But i do work for a large agency and i'm the receptionist, i can't just hide in the back or blend right in. People will begin to ask questions. Part of me really knows it's going to be impossible to keep a secret. Those of you who have not told anyone, Why is that?? And those of you who have... Do you regret it?

Sorry, A lot of questions.. I am just trying to draw some conclusions myself.

[sophrosyne 0]

I told people I was considering the surgery. The responses from those who have had the surgery has been supportive. Everyone else?

Husband: That's the easy way out.

Co-Worker: That's the cheater's way out. Just because you don't want to do the hard work and exercise.

Friend: Don't do it. It's dangerous. I'll be your personal nag instead, and make sure you diet and exercise.

Aquaintances: Don't do it. It's dangerous.

So, I've stopped talking about it. I'll either do it or I won't. I'm still on the fence. The part of me that wants the weight gone, is ready to go. The inner nag insists that I don't know enough about long-term complications.

[Kelsy 1]

When i told my father.. He said NO, NO, NO. right off the bat. He thought it was the gastric bypass. My mom attended the 2 info sessions with me and we explained the LapBand to him.. Slowly he began to change his tune. He's still just scared for the surgery part because a Patriots former coach had the bypass and almost died. For some reason, My dad can't look past that. He seems more okay with it now. I mean, he's even taken me to my appointments.

One co-worker does not believe in surgery, but it's easy for her to say because she's so thin. Then i have the co-worker who did have the lapband and i see her success and everyone telling her how great she looks..She's very open about it. The people who disapprove won't say it to her face.. If only they knew, I am getting mine next.

[Kelsy 1]

Wow Soph - Is anyone at all supportive about it? Maybe your husband should attend an info session and see what it's all about.

I think we've all tried diets and they just doesn't work; they're only temporary solutions for a lifetime problems. I don't see how the band is taking the easy way out.. I would deff. take someone to the info seminar.

Here i am more concerned about co-workers and you're husband and friends are discouraging you. Hmmph.

[sophrosyne 0]

I understand being concerned about the dangers, or the long-term health risks. I don't get the annoyance/anger at taking the "easy, cheating way out".

Let's just assume for a minute, it is the easy way out. What's it to them? I know they'd rather see me work my ass off and "deserve" my weight loss. But, again. What's it to them? I'm the one who's going to be PBing, and unable to eat, and going through surgery.

It doesn't sound very "easy" to me.

And where were they, when I was doing Optifast, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, TOPS, water-only diet, green tea diet, Atkins exercising 4 hours a day and STILL not losing weight? Or did I just not "deserve" it enough?

So, it's just kind of annoying me.

[edieparks 2]

I told everyone!! I was proud to be getting healthy. Its hard for me not to tell everyone obese that I see about it too. I have approached about 3 and was recieved well. I have to hold myself back .

edie

[She Smiles 2]

My immediate family all knows as my parents loaned me the money to pay for it, andmy Dad has a year old band also. My fiance has been my rock through the ups and downs. He didn't think I "needed" to lose weight (he loved me the way I was) but has supported my want/need to get halthier and feel better.

I told a few close trust worthy friends who were all but one super dooper supportive. The other one has come round now she has seen the results happening. Work, I just told I needed to go into hospital, I had been having other medical issues so I assume they assumed it had something to do with them.

I'm happy with the choices I have made in telling who I have.

[j_war06 0]

I tell ppl randomly, when the topic of WLS surgery comes up...but I dont just tell anyone, not that its a secret but I dont introduce myself as hi, Im Jodie, I have weight loss surgery, wanna see my scar? lol!

[marjon9 6]

And where were they, when I was doing Optifast, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, TOPS, water-only diet, green tea diet, Atkins exercising 4 hours a day and STILL not losing weight? Or did I just not "deserve" it enough? So, it's just kind of annoying me.

The "water-only diet." Now I can see how that would be effective, if you could stick with it.

When I first decided to get the band I felt pretty open about it. I had no intention of hiding it at all. Then I started getting extremely negative reactions from friends and family. The same things othes have mentioned. "It's dangerous" "People are dying from it " "Why can't you just diet and exercise." And here's one I liked: "Dan Marino lost 22 pounds on Nutrasystem, why don't you just do that." People's reaction just shocked me, really. Even my wife was strongly against it at first.

So I just stopped talking about it.

If I lose a lot of weight and people ask me, I'll tell them. At that point I won't care what people think. I don't want to hide it and claim "diet and exercise." But until then, I'll just force a grin onto my face and say "No, really, canned Protein shakes are delicious. Who knew?"

[BabyGotBack 0]

I also told people "about" the lapband surgery and asked what they have heard. Some people thought it was barbaric, so I will not be going to them now and telling them "I" did it. My husband, mom and a couple friends know. I will tell people on an as needed to basis.

Audree

[juliegeraci 7]

I have told my immediate family and some extended. My old boss knew I had lapband surgery but he could care less. I only tell those who say I look good and I explain to them the procedure. I'm not really quiet about it. The response I have gotten has been very positive. I find that people find it interesting. Good luck.

[babygrl1234 6]

Most everyone I have told have been very supportive. I will talk about it to anyone who will listen. Especially those who think it is the "easy" way out. I want them to have all the knowledge possible and know how hard it is going to be and how careful I am going to have to be about eveything that goes in my mouth. Everyone at work knows about it but then again seeing as I work in the operating room of the hospital I am having it done in everyone is going to find out anyhow when my name is up on the board. Everyone has been very supportive.

[Kat817 19]

I did not go up to strangers and tell them...I did not send out a family news letter and tell them...but if they are people I am in touch with regularly, I told them and talked to them about each step, and it has all been very open. I had a couple of friends who had been banded before me, and they were doing well, so I had that advantage. Now I have people who see me regularly, the cashier at the grocery store, or the bank teller, people at Curves, they see me losing weight quite rapidly and want to know how! So I tell them if they ask me. I was sitting in the waiting room when I took my folks to the eye Dr. and a lap band commercial come on, and a girl a few seats down tells her Mom, that's what I need....so I told her I had it done 6 months ago. They moved down and started asking questions, she has called me twice now and has scheduled her seminar! As we were talking in the waiting room, 2 other women began talking to us!

My oldest daughter is a nurse for a G.P., she has patients ask about it on occasion, and she with my permission, has given them my number. I have spoke to a couple.

I feel like if they ask me, I am going to tell them. Several people are uncomfortable with that, and I can appreciate that, but it isn't for me to be that way. When they tell people they are eating less and moving more, they are telling the truth...but I know myself and when I was at my biggest, if someone had suddenly lost 80 pounds, and was telling me they were eating less and moving more, I would have just felt like an even bigger slug....thinking WHY can't I do that??? It is a hard thing being that size, and feeling hopeless, I tell people, because I know if they find a way to get banded, they could do it too---I am not special----just lucky!!!

Kat

[KLo 0]

I too have struggled with "to tell or not to tell." I live on the opposite side of the country than my family so it has been easy not to tell them. I have ongoing issues w/my mother regarding my weight and am not sure I'll ever tell her. I have some great friends where I live and I have been gradually telling more people. The support has been wonderful. I still haven't told my manager and haven't made a firm decision either way about that. My initial feelings were that I didn't want people being "the food police" if I was with them but now I am thinking I will be more accountable and have more support if my "family" of friends know. It is not like I can hide the fact the I am considerably overweight and I think my friends are happy for me that I am doing something about it.

I consider myself blessed to have such great friends.

[Melissadrw 0]

I started out thinking that I would keep it all to myself. We live 5 hours away from most of our family. I ended up talking about it and I felt better. People at my job are supportive for the most part. I did have to take Christmas off to recover, and that was a bit of a sore spot for some.

My friends and family are very supportive. My sisters keep me in line. My husband has been great too. I feel like sharing my story will help me stay on track. If others are noticing my success, I will be less likely to fail.

In my support groups there were some that wanted to be private. Co workers were a problem and some had friends that were not help.

I guess what I am saying is do what feels right for you.

Melissa