Relationship issues 4 months post-op.

[Suko67 52]

I know when I went to support groups they warned of potential "relationship" issues that come about after one person in the marriage loses so much weight and makes drastic life changes after VSG---I just thought my marriage was strong enough to withstand such things.

So it's 4 months to the day and I've lost 75 lbs which puts me smaller than I was when my husband and I first met. I weight 168 lbs at 5'4" and I still want to lose ~ 30 lbs more.

My spouse however is about 100 lbs overweight and really hasn't made any changes to his current (rather unhealthy) lifestyle

My marriage is strained for reasons I can only assume are related to this change because everything else is status quo.

I am frustrated that he is acting very passive-aggressive towards me beyond reasons I can determine.

All I can think of is divorce (we have no kids together) because I am tired of living my life this unhappy. I finally can see a positive outlook for my future with health and hopefully happiness.

For those of you who want to suggest counseling--been there--done that and my husband continues to blame ALL problems on me. He will not accept his role in any relationship issue.

I am seriously thinking of divorce right now--for the first time since my VSG I feel hopeless.

Anybody have similar experiences or helpful comments? I would much appreciate it. .

.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[Sushan 1]

I am only 6 weeks post and I have noticed changes in not only my marriage, but in relationships with my friends and family as well. My husband is only around 30 to 40 lbs overweight, but he is becoming more insecure by the day which is causing some differences in his behavior towards me. It's not putting a strain on our relationship YET, but I'm afraid it may in the future.

My big relationship issue right now is with overweight friends and family. There is definite tension when my weight loss is mentioned. I don't feel any differently toward them, so why should they feel differently toward me? I actually had a relative say to me, "Don't expect us to lose weight just because you are!" I'm not sure how to process it all so soon after surgery.

[jatherley 126]

I wish both of you luck on this. This is a major fear of my own. I'm pre-op still (Aug 27) and I've mentioned the fear to my husband and his comment was simply "what you planning on leavin me when you loose weight?" Actually the fear is the other way around. But I can already feel tention between myself and a close friend who had planned to have surgery with me but hasn't been able to financially. I can feel the walls go up when ever I mention the difficulty I'm having with pre-op diet or my fears of surgery. I have a feeling that friendship may not survive my transformation.

[bobsgirl 3]

The friendship may very well end for now. But I hope your marriage can and will survive. Talk, talk, talk and love, love, love your spouse.