Telling the kids

[SuzyB 182]

I have 4 kids. 12,10,8 and 5. I really do not want to be telling lots of people about the surgery at this time. I do feel I need to tell my kids something before I go to hospital. I am hoping the kids can understand private vs a secret. I do not want to tell them to keep it a secret, but don't want them to blab it at school either.

I am worried about me being in the hospital and things not being normal for them as my husband is not great at day to day stuff. I can see my girls being a mess at school and telling the teachers. I wonder if I should put my not wanting to share it aside and tell their teachers anyhow, giving them a heads up.

What have others done to help the kids understand.

[Macy6 356]

I have a 14 year old son. I told him about half way into my journey. I told him I was keeping it just between a few close friends and family for now and asked him to do the same. He has been fine with it and not mentioned it to anyone.

[aumum 41]

I'm in the same boat with kids ages 10 to 3 and my mum went and told them I was going to surgery! I guess it's for the best. I had to show them my belly and bandages so they would know to be careful around me.

As for telling everyone it's very hard for kids to remember not to. It's really not anyone's business what kind of surgery you had tho.

[AmBeR09 60]

This is an awesome question. I think it's going to be hard for my 3yo to understand because she's very attached to her mommy. It even chokes me up thinking about being away from her. I think my 10 and 12 year old will have a well understanding and ask a lot of questions. Just not sure how to approach it and I know they'll have lots of questions!

[Macy6 356]

I did forget to mention that he did want to know if I would leave the hospital skinny or if I would be the same size AND more importantly he was concerned once I did loose weight that I would steal his clothes. (Because I want to wear boy skinny jeans and character t shirts)

[gamergirl 4,610]

I think it's best to tell the teachers that you will be out for some surgery, no need to specify what kind. If the kids are upset at school, or misbehave, it would help if the teachers could be a little more understanding if they knew that kids were reacting to your being gone.

My kids told their teachers all KINDS of stuff over the years that I really wish they hadn't, but I think teachers have learned to be discreet and are unlikely to spread it about.