I didn't tell and neither did my friend not even to me.......need advice

[Beach Lover 1,084]

So I went into work today to get my office ready for the first day of school next Monday. When I was done I went shopping to pick up some new clothes that fit. My daughter who teaches at the school called me and said that a friend of mine had the sleeve surgery this summer and is telling everyone. Now I didn't say anything to her nor her to me! LOL We could have been support for each other and we still can. However, I wasn't wanting to tell people. I know it is a matter of time before people ask because I will be losing weight similiar to her and they know she had wls. I really wanted this to be private because I don't like attention on me but I can't omit this when she is openly telling people. Or can I? Advise please!

[angry 158]

Its still your business and if you dont want to tell people, dont, I have no intention to. Although I have no problem telling people its not something I want to discuss, its not even a discussion I want to begin and I dont want to hear their thoughts or opinions. While I was going through the process I did medifast, and I realized that the results are not very different. The mf diet is about 1000 calories a day and again is very similar to the sleeve. If you are looking for something to tell people you can tell them that you significantly modified your diet and tell them about the medifast program. There is a lot of information about it, and it definitely does work if you stick with it. I dont think you should tell people unless you want to because once you do it is information you cant get back and you have no control over who else it told about it.

[SuNMooNStaRS816 423]

So I went into work today to get my office ready for the first day of school next Monday. When I was done I went shopping to pick up some new clothes that fit. My daughter who teaches at the school called me and said that a friend of mine had the sleeve surgery this summer and is telling everyone. Now I didn't say anything to her nor her to me! LOL We could have been support for each other and we still can. However' date=' I wasn't wanting to tell people. I know it is a matter of time before people ask because I will be losing weight similiar to her and they know she had wls. I really wanted this to be private because I don't like attention on me but I can't omit this when she is openly telling people. Or can I? Advise please![/quote']

You can still keep it private. Only tell if you feel comfortable. Just stick with the story you were originally gonna tell everyone. It's your journey, your process, your secret if you decide to keep it. No one can fault you for that. It's not anyone else's business.

[melissa130 135]

I work with several people that have had it -- and I have stuck to keeping my business private. I tell everybody that I cut out fast food and junk food, cut out carbs, drink lots of Water, and exercise my ass off. All of this is true. I love that I kept it to myself. Because I don't want my food to be inspected every day at lunch and I don't need everybody discussing my decision- as I have heard so many judge the folks I work with that are open about their business.

I love that it is my secret. I still have done all the hard work.

[elisa123 31]

I have been telling people that I am on medifast . I am only out 7 days but down 14 pds. I just tell them lots of liquids and lot of Protein Shakes and its up to them if they want to try it too. Good luck!,

[gmanbat 5,889]

Will your daughter tell your friend that you had the sleeve? If so, your secret may be out after your talkative friend lets it slip. Prepare to be outed even if it doesn't happen. Doesn't hurt to be ready.

If you have to tell, talk like you did a good thing. You did.

[becogolfer 68]

You should do what you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with disclosing you had a wls then you could just say you are watching what and how much you eat. That's no lie because it is the basis for your weightloss. You have no obligation to tell others or to have to justify you decisions.

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

Ugh so glad I didn't have to deal with this. I am a private person and that includes with almost everything with my life. No one knows anything about me unless I want them to know it. Pretty much only my family knows about VSG or about any other serious medical issue I've had. I just don't feel the need to tell people about my private business. It's ALL about YOU. If YOU feel uncomfortable, don't tell. People with more upfront and open personalities may be comfortable with it. I don't like being the subject of speculation or gossip, so I stay out of it. Then again, I work from home THANK GOD and I don't have to deal with workplace gossip. Honestly, this is YOUR journey. Do what you do deem fit. Don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with or you may regret it.

[PGee 318]

Definitely keep it private if you want.....I'm afraid when my swimming buddy who had gastric bypass notices the changes...I'm sure she will be blunt about them LOL And I haven't told people either.

[luckysmomma 407]

I told no one, not a single soul...my health is my business is how I see it. People can be mean, intentionally & unintentionally. I definitely would never want a coworker of mine to know because most of mine are gossips. I tell people 'not enough' when they ask me how much I've lost & that I'm doing WW for the billionith time (which I do attend each week) & hitting the gym again (which I am). Do what is best for you, but remember once you tell someone you can't take it back..

[rewind 39]

You should do what you are comfortable with. For me, I had nothing to hide. I don't care what people think or say. I'm 6 months out so people are noticing. I say, "I had weight-loss surgery; vertical sleeve. Best decision I ever made". With a big smile on my face.

I'm proud of myself and my decision. I'm proud of my progress and the changes I'm making in my life.

If you come out with it, you may find that after the initial talk, there will be much less talk. If people think you are hiding something, they will speculate and talk forever. And that may (or may not) weigh on you.

Best of luck to you.

[buplee 556]

What I share or do not share regarding my health is the business of no one. I have had several hospitalizations and surgeries and no one asked me about those. My wife and immediate family are the only people who know. It is up to the individual to determine what level of information to share or how much is tmi.

[supbanana 153]

Will your daughter tell your friend that you had the sleeve? If so' date=' your secret may be out after your talkative friend lets it slip. Prepare to be outed even if it doesn't happen. Doesn't hurt to be ready.

If you have to tell, talk like you did a good thing. You did.[/quote']

"Prepare to be outed" - yup, I just found out today that my stepdad told his gossipy, dramatic, meddling family about my surgery. I didn't want anyone at all to know in the first place but told my mom, who told my close family members, and now everyone knows. I hate it and was almost in tears over it (I'm tired and dramatic today, apparently). Anyway, if you don't want it known, make sure to specifically tell your daughter and others not to blab.

[Beach Lover 1,084]

My daughter I have no worries about but one of my friends might just do it under the guise of helping someone else. I really don't want to let this stuff out for others to discuss and drive me nuts with questions but I would rather just deal with it honestly then have raised eyebrows at me later. It would constantly worry me that someone knows because of a simply innocent statement.......Or was it?????? That is what I would constantly be wondering and the would drive me mad. I have no reason to be ashamed and I am not I just don't like nosey attention. I am sorry that your stepdad outed you when he wasn't supposed to. That is a betrayal of your trust. I think I would have been in tears! Hang in there you will lose all your weight and wear something awesome around them and just smile real big!

[ccm2n 28]

I kept it a secret and I am 10 months out. The only one that knows is my wife. I also am a teacher and I know how fast things fly around my building. The funniest thing was the older teachers asking me if I was sick. I even overheard that I was on prayer lists. Its just hard for some people to accept. The ironic part is I was sick when I was morbidly obese but its so common that its viewed as the norm. Even my family doesn't like the amount of weight I have lost. So I do not regret not telling anyone. But its a personal choice and everyone has their own choice.