in need of advice

[jkuh 0]

Hi there, I am very new to this. I have been doing my research about the weight loss Sugery and know this is my chance for a healthier life. Has anyone had a hard time convincing there significant other. Mine says 'I think weight loss surgery is a cop out, if you want to loose the weight then eat right and exercise'... If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it

[Sydney Susan 333]

There's oodles of research out there showing that once you've been obese it is extremely difficult to both get weight off and keep it off over the long term. Just this past weekend in Australia there was huge coverage of new scientific findings (to the effect of) "there are so many genetic contributions to obesity that there will never be a simple solution". No doubt a short while on Google will deliver all the evidence you need.

And have no delusions about it, the sleeve is no cure-all either. It will help - enormously if you're lucky - but roughly the same number of people lose weight effortlessly with the sleeve and keep it off equally effortlessly, as lose 100kg and keep it off for their rest of their life without surgery. That is, v v few.

You still need to deal with comfort eating or whatever other "head hunger demons" you have, show restraint (you can happily nibble chocolate all day with a sleeve - there'll be no one to stop you but you), exercise and eat healthily.

If your husband fears you won't suffer enough, reassure him that you most definitely will.

You can also tell him that you'll have a greater chance of success (although you'll be suffering), you'll almost certainly lose weight faster and so get healthier earlier, and whatever the surgery costs you'll save at least that in food bills (I kid you not) and health costs.

It's not magic, a cop-out or a cure all. But it's definitely worth it.

[GypsyQueen 198]

I took my hubby with me to everything. He sat right in my surgeon's office and said to me "I don't understand why you need to do this. If you'd just eat less and move a little more..."

My surgeon was the best person to explain why that just wasn't the case. He then attended a nut visit, another info seminar, a support group and my pre op day visit.

When I hit panic mode on the way to the hospital, my hubby was the one who told me I was doing the right thing. I don't think I would have gone through it without him.

Knowledge is power. Get him informed.

[TBodmer71 245]

Give it time. My husband is a hard-headed, opinionated, he is always right kind of guy ( but I love him anyways ). When I mentioned weight loss surgery last year he actually yelled at me. A few weeks later he saw me reading "Weightloss Surgery For Dummies". That threw him off the deep end. He was very mean and nasty about it. His thought was it is an unnecessary risk, for something as simple as putting my fork down.

It seemed every time the subject came up he got very angry. I now realize it was because he was scared that something awful could happen to me. It all finally came to a head. I had had enough of his bad attitude about it. I told him that regardless of his opinion I was going to have the surgery. It is his job as my husband to support my decisions. It was not his job as my husband to force me with intimidation to follow his opinions.

Then for the next few months he saw all the work I was doing to be able to have the surgery. I started an exercise regiment (I took the coat hangers and dust off the exercise equipment in our home gym). I started to cut back on my calorie intake. I've lost more than 20lbs so far (I started my 2 week pre-op diet this morning). When he finally realized that I was following through with my decision he is finally warming up to the idea.

Yesterday we planned "My Last Supper", and we went out to dinner. He explained to our waitress the for the next 6 weeks I am gonna be on a liquid diet because I was going to be having surgery. I am to have anything I want including dessert. He even told the waitress that because this last meal was so important that the cooks had better make it a good one. When she came back with our appetizers she had inquired about what kind of surgery. It was my husband and not me that explained it all to her. He even mentioned to her that he was very proud of me for having the guts to do this. On the way home from the restaurant, he turned to me and said that he was excited about the prospect of us having a more active life together. He said he is gonna have to start working out because their is no way his wife is gonna be able to out-run him. ( I find this a little funny because he had a hip replacement 4 years ago at age 44 and can't run anyways). My husband is a very physically fit, Union Iron worker, Rod Buster for the Boston Local. For him to think that I have the ability to be more physically fit than him stole my heart. For him to brag to our waitress about me took my breath away.

It amazes me that he was actually paying attention all these months. Gotta luv him.