Scared

[suchsh 14]

My entire life has been surrounded by food. All holidays are spent around the dinner table. All celebrations are done at a restaurant. I'm worried that my family won't get it. That I end up as another failure. That I will have leaking between staples. Have any of you felt this way? If so, how did you get over these feelings?

[cindymg 629]

My entire life has been surrounded by food. All holidays are spent around the dinner table. All celebrations are done at a restaurant. I'm worried that my family won't get it. That I end up as another failure. That I will have leaking between staples. Have any of you felt this way? If so' date=' how did you get over these feelings?[/quote']

I think all of our lives have been surrounded by food. We wouldn't be here otherwise.

Honestly, I don't really care what my family or friends think. And you know what, they are so concerned with their own lives they don't have time to judge mine.

As far as worry, I had the same concerns that you have before my surgery. Now after 3 months, the nagging fears have gone away. Your sleeve is not going to leak, and if you have the courage to undergo sleeve surgery, you're going to make darn sure you don't fail. Just do everything your surgeon and nutritionist tell you to do, go to your support group, record everything you eat and how much you exercise, and hang out on this site, and you'll be fine.

Good luck on your journey. It's going to be amazing!

[Catherine707 253]

There are so many fears associated with this surgery and being obese, it takes a lot of courage to pursue this surgery and the lifestyle changes required to lose the weight. First talk your surgical concerns over with your doctor. I asked mine "how will I know if there is a problem with the staples and I am leaking"? He explained the symptoms and what to look for that might indicate a problem - that was comforting because I live over 2.5 hours from the city where I had the surgery, and was afraid to be caught in the boonies with a complication. Second - your food issues will still be front and center if you have the surgery or if you decide not to have surgery. Food and food related events are something that every food addict needs to deal with. I suggest working with a counselor or therapist to learn how to set firm boundaries and to deal with the conflict that will arise by changing your eating habits. I won't lie, it isn't easy. I am 9 weeks post surgery and doing well, but it is a daily struggle against what my brain tells me I "want" to eat and what I know is healthy for me. I am still coming to terms with this life long process, but I am seeing positive results and daily am getting closer to my goal of a healthy body weight and relationship with food. Some friends / family members will be very supportive and other (those who never have struggled with weight) will never get it. Sometimes those unsupportive people have to take a back seat in our lives while we do what we know is best in the long run. Good luck to you, there are a lot of wonderful people on this site that will answer your questions and help you on your journey.

[Indigo1991 1,612]

We are all with you, as cindymg says we wouldn't be here if we weren't all coming from the same place as you :-)

It's hard to believe now but surgery will change your life in so many ways that you can't even foresee just now. It seems scary but it will be all good!

My social life used to revolve round food. I still join in with all of that four months out. But now my focus isn't on the food itself, it's on enjoying the time with friends and family. And they all get what I have done and why. Took a bit of time, but they accept what is now my new "normal" in terms of what I eat and how much. They are so happy for me, having watched me be so miserable over the years, and I am sure your family will feel the same.

At the moment, I know it's hard to be positive or to see just how life changing this surgery will be. It is a huge step to take, it won't always be easy as you will see from posts on this site. But it put me on the road to being healthy and fit - and I have never been happier despite my initial fears and concerns. As for failing, if you do what you are meant to do in relation to Water and Protein, your sleeve pays you back by doing what it's there to do - help you lose weight. It's all pretty simple

Keep asking questions and stay strong. This decision is about you, no-one else walks in your shoes. So whatever you choose to do, do it for you, what the rest of the world thinks really doesn't matter, this your life....

[Indigo1991 1,612]

Ps as I have lost weight, I am now comfortable doing different types of social activity - my friends and I are going dancing in two weeks. That was something I never thought I would ever do again. So life doesn't need to revolve round food!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I am one of those people who did get a leak in their sleeve.....this added to other complications and I spent 5 months in the hospital due to this..

Now 10 months later and everything I went through...I would do it again so far it would make your head spin....

This has been the journey of my life and I have changed so much and am so much healthier now then I was before the sleeve..

It is an every day choice because you are forced to deal with the issues that made you this way in the first place....

I am now okay with eating in front of people and going to restaurants for meals.....I don't care how my choice effects other people..It is my body and my life and even though I had the worst experience...I am here to say it is worth all of it..130 lbs down and moving forward with my plans for my future..

You can do the same......

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

My husband was only freaked out for the first month after surgery. He couldn't believe I could only eat literally two bites of food the first time we ate out. I had Soup at a restaurant when I got off mushies and it was fairly thick. I had a very small sleeve. That is all I could eat for probably 2 months is about 2 bites of any food. After a while, i could still eat little amounts but it was no longer so freakishly small after a few months. It wasn't as shocking anymore to my family because they saw I really could eat more than 2 bites of soup. My husband and family got used to it. Waiters and waitresses haven't said anything to me in months because I almost always say "I am not very hungry. I ate earlier. Can I get a to go box for my leftovers?" That doesn't present them the opportunity to ask me questions. Now I still can't eat much at all at 18 months post op but I've been eating this same amount since around 7 months post op. I can't eat more than 2.5 ounces of Protein tops. I can eat 4 ounces of cottage cheese at a sitting because it's softer. That's it. And I have to admit, I'm glad! I promise your family will get used to it. You can still go to a restaurant or eat dinner and be sleeve friendly. I order chicken or shrimp or something like that almost every time we go out and couple it with some veggies. You can find that almost everywhere except maybe at fast food joints. I've had to eat fast food a few times with my family on a road trip and simply ordered a grilled chicken sandwich or wrap and taken off the tortilla or bread. You will still be able to eat with your family and friends, just in a healthier way. They don't have to totally "get it" but they will get used to it. It just may take some time.

[mokee 588]

Our family is the same way. We eat to Celebrate everything. My eldest sons birthday dinner was at our house last night. I made his favorite really fattening meal. I ate a little and was full. But I really enjoyed watching everyone eat and the conversation. We had such a good time. The only time it bothers me is when my husband and I go out and I don't eat very much, usually off of his plate or an appetizer as an entre, and I have to watch him eat for another 20 minutes. We have been married for 44 yrs so the conversation is minimal.

[suchsh 14]

Thank you so much for your comments. I guess I needed to hear that it is ok and that my mindset on food will change.