Second thoughts?

[Jesser 295]

I have an intense fear of complications from having this surgery. At times I feel certain that its what I want to do, but then I will read a surgery gone wrong story and think that will be me. Here lately I have been keeping myself up at night wondering if I am making the right decision, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. Is it really a gamble? Forgive me, I'm just petrified and almost have myself talked into trying another diet for the 100th time and not having the surgery. What did you do to calm your nerves? How did you get over the anxiety of possibly having a complication or even death?

[Catherine707 253]

Jesser, I was totally afraid of the permanent nature of the surgery, and struggled with the same issues you mention. I spent a lot of time getting "real" with myself about how many times I tried to lose weight, how I was hungry ALL THE TIME, and my emotional eating felt out of control. Once I wrote all those truths down on paper, it was easy to see that I had to do something different. After a lot of research I decided the VGS was the right move for me.

I still had second thoughts the night before surgery, AND in the hospital recovering from the surgery, AND in the weeks following when I felt like crap and the world was spinning with vertigo. BUT I stuck with it (not that I had much choice after surgery) and worked hard to balance the Protein, calories and Water intake to find an optimal balance for me. I have lost almost 50 pounds since the beginning of the year, my clothes are loose, my joints feel better, and I never could have done this without the surgery. I still have a long way to go, I'm only 9 weeks post surgery.

Only you can make this decision. It is not the "Easy" path, but one that if you follow your doctors instructions can make a huge difference in you life. Feel free to message me if you have any questions. I'm not to the point where I am willing to say this is the best thing I have ever done in my life, but I know I was on a downhill spiral with an early death from obesity staring me in the face. So far I know I made the right decision!

[Lareina007 2]

I am feeling the same way. I leave in the morning for San Diego and I'm still up. I look at the good that will come out of this, I can take my son to the park without getting tired or out of breath. Now my son will ask if my knee don't hurt can we go to the park. That breaks my heart. I am tired of the yo-yo diets, I lose 40 and gain 45. I have been thinking about this for a year already. I asked God what should I do. I have not had any obstacles come my way so I take it as a sign. I have to think positive that all will be fine as long as I follow the program like I am suppose to. God will be the surgeon that day.

[Jason_in_Texas 9]

I understand completely. My surgery is scheduled for 8/13 and it's hard not to obsess over the risks. It's not logical but that doesn't change the anxiety. I am trying to focus my energy on getting ready: trying and ordering supplements, reading, and just general researching. I'm also making a list of all of the things I want to do that I most likely never will be able to if I don't get the surgery (it's getting a bit long .) I figure I'm as well prepared as I can be: I just need to show up on time and trust that my surgeon and the hospital staff will get me through it. After that I'll take it one step at a time.

[kitkat 76]

I almost walked out of the surgery prep ward. I was convinced I wasn't going to wake up. I freaked out. Then I thought about my kids and the fact that if I didn't do something I was going to put myself out of the picture early for sure. I had to think that this is a life saving surgery. May not be immediate but it adds years to your life. YEARS. I had to make a drastic move to save my life and to make the life I have the best it can be. I have lost 73 lbs since December. I have 41 to go. I know now that I will be around a lot longer than I would have been without the surgery. Yup second thoughts, scared out of my mind, and freaked out but it was the best decision I have ever made and I would do it again. and again.

[TAB2012 10]

Wow, so glad I came across this post. Thank you Catherine, your post was very helpful. I've been a bench warmer for a year and have been flip flopping between locations, surgeons, and co-ordinators. I'm scared to have surgery. And keep thinking ill try one last diet.. Which of course doesn't work. I don't know why it's such an internal conflict. Alma actually said something I found helpful.. There are more risks associated with being obese then there are with weight loss surgery! And that actually clicked for me.

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I have an intense fear of complications from having this surgery. At times I feel certain that its what I want to do' date=' but then I will read a surgery gone wrong story and think that will be me. Here lately I have been keeping myself up at night wondering if I am making the right decision, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. Is it really a gamble? Forgive me, I'm just petrified and almost have myself talked into trying another diet for the 100th time and not having the surgery. What did you do to calm your nerves? How did you get over the anxiety of possibly having a complication or even death?[/quote']

I feel the same way. In the middle of all my pre-op appointments but freaked out about the possibility of complications.

[Jesser 295]

Thanks everyone! I just need to do it. I can continue living my life this way and continue to be depressed or I can take the risk and lose the weight. I'm going to be a nervous wreck, but I know in my heart that I can't just diet and keep it off. My family gets mad when I say that like I'm being lazy and taking the easy way out they say. They just don't understand. It's not easy, it a constant struggle that I can't deal with any longer.

[TwinsMama 483]

I'm going to be honest...I spent 2 years researching the surgery RnY or Sleeve. After 2 years I started the process (finally got my PCP on board too). Even during the process, which for me took a year due to the surgeons in my area being booked solid, I still had my times when I doubted.

Then surgery came and I had complications. Recovery for me and even my weight loss has not been easy. At 8 weeks out, down 2 sizes, down a total of 41 lbs, and having more engery on most days that I know what to do with...I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING!

I made this decison because I didn't want to drop dead and my hubby and kids be told oh well she was obese, it was weight related. I wanted to ensure that I lived as long as possible and as healthy as possible for my family. Sure, I can say it was for me too, but honestly, I want my kids to grow up healthy and I know I needed to get there to get them there.

No one can convince you one way or the other. You've got to want this for yourself. It may take literally every day changing your mind, but once you're really ready, nothing will stop you. Best wishes to those of you pre-op. We've all been there and we know that on the other side is a precious gift many of us would have never found without the sleeve.

[TwinsMama 483]

They just don't understand. It's not easy, it a constant struggle that I can't deal with any longer.

Take your comfort in these 2 sentences. They don't get it. It is not your job to help them get it either. Some will over time (as they see you get healthier) and some never will.

Either way, this is your decision, your body, your health, and your quality of life. Some people are okay sitting on the sidelines judging everyone's life. That is so their problem not yours.

I made it absolutely clear (probably by my matter of fact disposition) that I was having this surgery and could care less what anyone thought about it. Make up your mind that you and what you think about you are enough. Once you do that, what they say/do/think just won't matter.

Sending you hugs!!

[laffypatty 47]

I've been having the exact same thoughts. For so long, VGS is all I've wanted, but the more I research it, the more I think, "What if?" I have a 5-month-old and a 2-year-old. The thought of having complications from surgery and leaving them motherless makes me breathless; however, it's equally terrifying to think of what may come if I DON'T have surgery. I'm 33 years old, have a BMI of 40.3 and absolutely no health problems - aside from osteoarthritis in my knees - so I'm considered low-risk. Nonetheless, it's all a bit scary.

[Jesser 295]

I've been having the exact same thoughts. For so long' date=' VGS is all I've wanted, but the more I research it, the more I think, "What if?" I have a 5-month-old and a 2-year-old. The thought of having complications from surgery and leaving them motherless makes me breathless; however, it's equally terrifying to think of what may come if I DON'T have surgery. I'm 33 years old, have a BMI of 40.3 and absolutely no health problems - aside from osteoarthritis in my knees - so I'm considered low-risk. Nonetheless, it's all a bit scary.[/quote']

I'm in a similar situation as you... I'm 32, single mother of a 3 year old boy, my BMI is right at 40, no other health problems- yet. But I have a history of diabetes, heart disease and cancer in my family. Just about everyone older in my family has diabetes and is overweight.

[laffypatty 47]

I'm in a similar situation as you... I'm 32' date=' single mother of a 3 year old boy, my BMI is right at 40, no other health problems- yet. But I have a history of diabetes, heart disease and cancer in my family. Just about everyone older in my family has diabetes and is overweight.[/quote']

Jesser, your family history sounds like mine!! My hope is that this surgery prevents me from getting all those awful diseases. I'm sure that's your plan too!