Paul11011 372 Posted August 5, 2013 Interestingly, everyone has focused on the relationship aspect of the OP. I would like to turn our attention to the other significant point of the post, that you feel the need to be constantly doing something. Sure, this is likely the result of making up for lost time, all those years when we sat around doing nothing and as you say, literally wasting our lives. But I do think there is something else at work here; you see, we used to fill that "boredom" or antsiness or whatever you want to call it, with food. Which of course reaches back into the "whys" of our overeating in the first place. What were we avoiding by stuffing our faces? What aren't we facing by being constantly active? What would happen if we were alone with our thoughts? I don't know if I'm making any sense or if it's just hogwash, but this occurred to me too, just like it did for the OP and a few others who said they have felt this way. When I was in the States a typical day for me was as follows: 5am wake up, 6am-2pm work, 3pm pilates, 4pm yoga, 5:30pm crossfit or tango, 7-8pm do laundry/pack lunch/set out clothes for following day/pay bills/journal/shower. 8-9pm watch a movie or show, sleep. and I did a version of this 6 days a week, I only slept in on Sundays, and even then it meant getting up at 8 instead of 5. and guess what? I really mean this when I say, that I still felt like I wasn't doing anything. I'm serious guys, I still felt "lazy". No doubt that is from over a decade of social abuse, being told overtly and subconciously that I was lazy or worthless etc etc etc. so anyway, I love being active, I love dancing and physical movement and being social, but I have also concentrated on being okay with just being me, and not having to prove my worth every second of every day. Hope my ramble made sense. Not rambling at all. You have done an outstanding job of understanding what I was asking about. There will likely be differences in most relationships as people grow and change. My main curiosity was this internal drive to nearly always be busy. Thanks again to everyone for the comments. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butterthebean 8,146 Posted August 5, 2013 Paul, my situation is slightly different....alright...completely different. My wife's energy level was already way above mine. I'm just catching up to her now. But honestly, I still enjoy sitting back in my recliner and doing nothing for a while...just not for as long as I used to. 1 mistysj reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahzamudio1091 185 Posted August 8, 2013 This is soooo me !! I get restless sitting at home !! My husband is content staying home watching tv !!!! Uugghhhh drives me nuts! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms skinniness 3,003 Posted August 10, 2013 This is very interesting to read. My profession is working with couples that are struggling in their marriages and what I always assign for my couples to do is go out on a date night every week. To find something they both love to do and to switch it up all the time. Be creative and surprise each other with extra special attention. Oooops I feel like I'm at work right now. 1 Butterthebean reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites