Regrets

[DebCat 18]

Oh the long moments of regret! I have them, but I know they will subside. At 6 weeks out, I am just now being able to feel somewhat normal since week 1. Week 1 was much easier and I felt better than I do now even. Protein shakes are NOT my friend. I've struggled with dehydration and even passed out from it. I am very sad about the situation.

HOWEVER, I am still hopeful. Before I decided to have the surgery, I didn't have hope and I had let go of my dreams of being able to do so many of the things I loved to do prior to becoming obese. We've done something (albeit extreme!) about it. I truly wish I hadn't gone so far down the obesity road that I felt destined to stay there. But since I did, the only way back to looking and feeling like the "me" I once knew is to somehow find a way to embrace this tough road ahead. When I can start seeing "me" again, I know the regrets will be forgotten and I will run towards the healthier woman that is fit and strong and had the courage to start this journey to begin with.

I started seeing a therapist a couple of months before surgery and I know I will be with her for the duration of this journey. It has been the most crucial part of the equation so far. I am so grateful that I took this precaution and realized that being obese wasn't as simple as eating too much.

Regret is an enormous burden.

Peace and hope be with you, Nani...

[Dirana 7]

I regretted it the 2nd day out of surgery but the thing is:

1. Diabetes, heart attack, stroke..etc was avoided (at least drastically reduced chances) with the sleeve.

2. You had problems with food before, to lead to you to where you are. You still can eat almost anything, just not the huuuugggeee portions you had before which lead you to become unhealthy.

3. Its done. It's over. You can give up and cry over split milk or use the sleeve to be better physically. ****

4. Consider seeing a therapist - they are stereotyped negatively, but they do help.

My point is move on, you have no other choice. What's done is done and living in past regrets will make life harder. Instead, look to the future thin you.

[MommyofFive 243]

Hang in there. I had several "what in the hell did I do" moments. Today I am down 90 lbs. I've figured out how much and what I can and can't tolerate. If I want to eat something.....I eat it. I just don't let food control me. I see food in a whole different light now. I am so thankful and while I'll never eat a Thanksgiving dinner with 3 extra helpings and pie, I realize that is just ONE DAY! I get to see my reflection in the mirror EVERY day and I wouldn't trade that feeling for ANY meal.

[tbomb 13]

I'm 3 mos out and I'm loving it. I don't think I've had a day that I regret it (so far fingers crossed ). I have lost 74lbs and for the first time in my life since about 12years old no diet. When I go our to eat I usually order off the appetizer menu and still end up bringing it home.

I would talk to your doctor and/or your NUT and make sure everything is okay

Good luck and I will pray for you

[Divadoll_98 10]

I know exactly how you feel about feeling depressed because you have noone that has been through it & noone understanding. That is exactly how I feel. I have my parents & my ex husband as support & lots of other family & friends but noone who has had this struggle or this surgery that I can sit down & talk to & who can say "I understand' date=' I have been there myself" I do have a family memeber who has been dieting & busting his butt for 18 mths now & has lost 170 lbs on his own & he has been great to talk to but he lives so far away & still he has not had the surgery to know what types of things I am experiencing. He can stop what he is doing & do what he feels like when he feels like & then go back to dieting when he wants. This is a permanent life changing choice we have made, there is no changing our minds & going back to the way we used to be. But that is why this forum is here for us, to help us. I just wish there was a place to go to meet with people like us near where I live. We have a once a month support group @ our local hospital but sometimes you need more then that. Plus it is only an hour long & almost never have time to talk about what may be going on with you & get any feedback from others in the group. [/quote']

I have a suggestion. Why don't you talk to the ppl in your support group? You can build relationships with ppl outside of that hour. The groups are there so you have access to ppl. I think just like we had our good and bad "fat" days we have our good and bad "healthy" days. It's hard to go out if your focus is still food. Focus on company and tasting (not eating) things you like. We have to change our minds so we can make our journey's a real gift and blessing. We wanted this. It was a choice. Everything in life has good and bad. WE CAN AND WILL DO THIS FOREVER!!

[Divadoll_98 10]

I'm only 8 days post op and am going through the remorse thing right now. I am really struggling with the liquid diet for all I've been able to have is strained cream of Soups and Protein shakes. I have another week of the liquids before I can move to the pureed stage. I've had some thoughts of regret and wish I could have done this on my own without the surgery. I know it will all be worth it and it will just be another month before I can eat "normal" food again but I would give anything right now for a bite of chicken or a grilled cheese sandwich. I have been fortunate' date=' though. So far I have had absolutely no problems with being sick or uncomfortable at all.[/quote']

This is the worst part. Trust me. You are having regrets because you want your kind of food which is why we chose the surgery. Now we can't get tired of restrictions and cheat. We did this so our lives, bodies, habits and health would change. Woo hoo. You don't get sick. Trying new foods when you enter your stages will be awesome. Just remember its all on u. Make good choices. YOU CAN DO IT.

[TwinsMama 483]

I know exactly how you feel about feeling depressed because you have noone that has been through it & noone understanding. That is exactly how I feel. I have my parents & my ex husband as support & lots of other family & friends but noone who has had this struggle or this surgery that I can sit down & talk to & who can say "I understand, I have been there myself" I do have a family memeber who has been dieting & busting his butt for 18 mths now & has lost 170 lbs on his own & he has been great to talk to but he lives so far away & still he has not had the surgery to know what types of things I am experiencing. He can stop what he is doing & do what he feels like when he feels like & then go back to dieting when he wants. This is a permanent life changing choice we have made, there is no changing our minds & going back to the way we used to be. But that is why this forum is here for us, to help us. I just wish there was a place to go to meet with people like us near where I live. We have a once a month support group @ our local hospital but sometimes you need more then that. Plus it is only an hour long & almost never have time to talk about what may be going on with you & get any feedback from others in the group.

Feel you both with this. I have lots of friends, coworkers, etc who have had the surgery. Thing is no one had complications and I did. I had one friend that got dehydrated but other than that, she was back up and at it in literally a week.

Sometimes what we have to do is seek out those like us. I had to go and find people on these boards and in my support group that had a "not so lovely" sleeve journey. I'm glad you're using the support group and yes, one day is not really enough so I've found 2 and go twice a month. Still I'd love more, but for now it is my reality.

Best wishes to both of you!

[mylifeinpink 349]

Three months post op over 40 lbs down and I still regret it. Always sick to my stomach and going out to dinner is horrible. My life will never be the same. I'm even more depressed than before.

You're ONLY 3 months out!!!

Give yourself some time.

[kw2walker 211]

Three months post op over 40 lbs down and I still regret it. Always sick to my stomach and going out to dinner is horrible. My life will never be the same. I'm even more depressed than before.

Sorry to hear that. Have you spoken with your doctor and NUT?

[VSGJourneyGrandma 19]

Thank you so much for being honest. I am only 1 month post-op and I do get tired of seeing so many people on this forum say how they just "love my sleeve". I am just now starting to feel some what human again and I absolutely everyday think "man, I wish I hadn't done this." I remember saying to my daughter when I came home from the hospital - if I would have know how hard and painful this was going to be I would have NEVER done it. I would have just starved myself - because that it what I am doing anyway. But, as she reminded me - I would not have known and I would have continued down the path I was going and would have eaten myself to death within a few short years. I know in my heart that I did the right thing - but, it is not the easy way out. I just started to see a therapist and I think I will stick with her through out this process. You might want to try that.

[kw2walker 211]

Thank you so much for being honest. I am only 1 month post-op and I do get tired of seeing so many people on this forum say how they just "love my sleeve". I am just now starting to feel some what human again and I absolutely everyday think "man' date=' I wish I hadn't done this." I remember saying to my daughter when I came home from the hospital - if I would have know how hard and painful this was going to be I would have NEVER done it. I would have just starved myself - because that it what I am doing anyway. But, as she reminded me - I would not have known and I would have continued down the path I was going and would have eaten myself to death within a few short years. I know in my heart that I did the right thing - but, it is not the easy way out. I just started to see a therapist and I think I will stick with her through out this process. You might want to try that.[/quote']

I hope this experience gets better for you.

[Healthiernewme 81]

I just wanted to send hugs your way:) I really hope you feel better and find a way to feel better about everything.

[mich 74]

Sorry to hear you are so unhappy. Are you taking an acid reducer? My surgeon recommends Zantac, and if that is not enough, then a PPI. Reflux can cause the symptom you mentioned.

I have been banded for 5 years and eating out is the worst! What works for me is if I get a drink, I give it to my husband when the food arrives (and he stops me if I try to grab it, some habits never die!) or I give it to the wait staff to take away. Also asking for a to go tray (or sometimes a small plate) when they deliver the meal helps. I will either place my portion on a new plate, and give the rest to my husband or kids. or I pack up most of the food before I start. It sometimes feels like a lot of fuss, but I'm used to it now. Small portion, small plate, and no drink within my reach makes eating out work better for me.

Good luck!

[kjing9419 5]

I feel your pain... Im depressed spent a total of 40 days in the hospital... I cant get anywhere 64 oz down un a day dehydration had been a problem Sunday potassium became a problem when I had a stroke.. The leak and stent i have im trying to come with grips with... That leak left me in the hospital 30 days then there were other things....always nauseous this is my experience so far.... My question is how to get it all in in a day???? Its literally killing me!!! Please help... Im told this is going to be just a bad nightmare soon so Im not sure to rule the surgery out just make sure your surgeon listens to u only you know your body best!!

[TwinsMama 483]

My doctor said that while Protein is important, if you have problems getting fluids in, focus on liquids first. Then if you have any room/energy left, try and do a few shakes. I would say, if you can get your liquids built up over time, then you can worry about your Protein.< /p>

You're pretty far out so my advice may only work for newly pre-ops, so call your Dr. S/he may be able to give you a few tips. Even though complications are rare, most Docs know how to help you with them.