Dating after WLS

[EJamiFan 7]

My surgery date was 5/10/13 and I have lost 55 lbs total, including my preop diet.

I am in my late thirties, a single mom and have been divorced three years. The last few days I have noticed that guys are starting to look at me like I am attractive. It is an amazing feeling. I finally feel like maybe I am ready to dip my toe in the dating scene. I registered on a free online dating site and have been weeding out the weirdos. I may have a lunch date in a couple of days but it is bringing up all kinds of anxiety.

How do I explain that I cannot eat much? Do I say anything at all or just nibble at my food?

Aside from that anxiety there is the anxiety about men. Some of the men noticing me are men who would never have given me the time of day when I was heavier. That beings up a lot of insecurities.

Do you eventually tell someone about surgery if you date them? I'm haven't hidden the surgery from people in my life but I almost wonder what most men would think if they knew about surgery?

Am I being neurotic and insecure? (Yes!)

Anyone else feel this way? How did you handle it?

[bigcountryab 278]

My surgery date was 5/10/13 and I have lost 55 lbs total' date=' including my preop diet.

I am in my late thirties, a single mom and have been divorced three years. The last few days I have noticed that guys are starting to look at me like I am attractive. It is an amazing feeling. I finally feel like maybe I am ready to dip my toe in the dating scene. I registered on a free online dating site and have been weeding out the weirdos. I may have a lunch date in a couple of days but it is bringing up all kinds of anxiety.

How do I explain that I cannot eat much? Do I say anything at all or just nibble at my food?

Aside from that anxiety there is the anxiety about men. Some of the men noticing me are men who would never have given me the time of day when I was heavier. That beings up a lot of insecurities.

Do you eventually tell someone about surgery if you date them? I'm haven't hidden the surgery from people in my life but I almost wonder what most men would think if they knew about surgery?

Am I being neurotic and insecure? (Yes!)

Anyone else feel this way? How did you handle it?[/quote']

I have noticed many more women checking me out but I have not had much luck dating. I don't know why but it's frustrating lol

[thenewme13 39]

My surgery date was 5/10/13 and I have lost 55 lbs total' date=' including my preop diet.

I am in my late thirties, a single mom and have been divorced three years. The last few days I have noticed that guys are starting to look at me like I am attractive. It is an amazing feeling. I finally feel like maybe I am ready to dip my toe in the dating scene. I registered on a free online dating site and have been weeding out the weirdos. I may have a lunch date in a couple of days but it is bringing up all kinds of anxiety.

How do I explain that I cannot eat much? Do I say anything at all or just nibble at my food?

Aside from that anxiety there is the anxiety about men. Some of the men noticing me are men who would never have given me the time of day when I was heavier. That beings up a lot of insecurities.

Do you eventually tell someone about surgery if you date them? I'm haven't hidden the surgery from people in my life but I almost wonder what most men would think if they knew about surgery?

Am I being neurotic and insecure? (Yes!)

Anyone else feel this way? How did you handle it?[/quote']

Hi...

I did the same webt on a dating site and have received several emails. Im 5 weeks postop and webt out on a date last week. I did tell the guy of my surgery he took it very well. We webt out to eat dinber abd I had about 2oz of salmon abd 2-3 bites of the mashpotatoe he giggled and sait it was cute :-) lol

Since then when I tell him Im hungry he says hold on I think I can spare a french frie for you... Lol so basically we joke about it.

If you dont want to tell them then just make it a coffee date at Starbucks you can have tea :-) he will not notice at all.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

This topic gets posted every couple of months, every time a new cycle of post-ops starts hitting their confidence stride in their weightloss, just do a VSG search on "dating".

To tell or not to tell, that is the big question apparently. I have not told, but then again, I've never been asked. If I were point blank asked, I would not lie, but who starts off a date by talking about the organ they've had removed? I mean, if you are under 65 that is. ;P

I imagine that it is easier for me, as a woman, nobody is going to question my miniscule portions (unfortunately! don't get me started on the psycho-social implications of THAT...) But for men, I imagine it is a bit more difficult, there are certain tricks you can do like anorexics do, cutting the food up strategically, hiding some foods underneath others, but that's probably not healthy and I don't recommend. Instead, just eat as you feel, stop when you must, and answer questions honestly - if asked. Also, dates ARE social occasions, you aren't there to eat really , so it is perfectlyl acceptable to do lots of talking and listening in between (tiny) bites.

And if all of that sounds like too much - just eat Japanese! Teensy plates of beautiful sushi are my trick for first dates

[NikkiV1986 121]

If someone makes it passed the generic "about me" info while getting to know someone then I have no problem telling them. Why would I? This has definitely been a lifestyle change for me. Plus, I don't think I would have a whole lot of fun going out to a big dinner; I can't tell you now many "all you can eat" sushi dates I've turned down.

Going to Jamba juice and then the park seem to be a great and active date.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of responses. Just do what's comfortable for you!!

Good luck!! I have to say, I'm honestly enjoying "dating" different people!!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

All you can eat sushi? That sounds terrible. I enjoy the small artfully prepared dishes.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've been married for almost twenty years so I've been out of the dating scene for a long time but I run across the same situation with my work. I do a lot "wooing" of perspectives and it usually involves food.

Now, instead, I take them for coffee and dessert (skipping the dessert), frozen yogurt, or to walk around a community event to chat. Why not do something active instead? I don't think you need to spill your guts (or lack thereof) when you first meet, personally.

How exciting for you! I'm sure you will find the right match for you!