Scewed Perceptions?

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

I feel the need for alcohol.

[alterego 3]

Well you know what they say, you can lead a fat horse to Water but you can make him drink his Protein shake.

Some will fail. Some will succeed. That's the nature of the beast.

[gmanbat 5,889]

Mindful, analysing why people got defensive/annoyed and whether you should have said what you did or not is probably not a fruitful exercise. The truth is you said x about y and the result was z. It probably always will be. It's not right or wrong it just "is".

Perhaps some privately thought about what you wrote and changed behaviour... who knows? If that was your intention then may be you'll feel it was worthwhile and repeat the process, but don't expect the outcome on the forum to be any different.

My wife makes "constructive" criticism comments to me and of course I argue about them. Time passes and I quietly consider what she said which most of the time was right. I try to change without her noticing to save face. This has been going on for many years without let up so I would wager she notices.

[mark! 449]

Well you know what they say, you can lead a fat horse to Water but you can make him drink his Protein shake.

Some will fail. Some will succeed. That's the nature of the beast.

So, saying that the way these folks are living and eating will lead them to failure? My diet, during the most weight I've lost phase wasn't on point at all. I ate whatever I wanted when I was reintroduced to solid foods. I've had ice cream, candy, etc in very small portions and have lost 115 pounds in October, 90 of that since Feb when I had my surgery. I do think commenting on how other people work their sleeve and saying they'll fail is a bit over board. Just like now, I cyclical Keto diet, meaning I have 12 days of minimal carbs, and then 36 hours of 2 days I eat high GI carbs, which 90% of you on here would freak out and say I'm going to fail. I do what works for me, and that's all anyone can and should do. There's no cookie cutter program. I think over analyzing the diet aspect and freaking out over macro's leads to eventual failure, especially as a larger person who has struggled with weight loss all of their lives.

The way I see if, there are 2 boats, both going to the same place. One is the strict, I only eat wholesome healthy foods, and the other is the I don't want to "diet" my entire life and I'm going to still enjoy food but on a much smaller scale. Now, every once in a while, some do jump over board and swim back to the shore which can and has lead to failure, sure it happens, but not everyone who enjoys food from time to time is going to fail on this journey.

Many people had dealt with judgement their entire lives. And someone who's been sleeved coming in saying "I'm concerned" is the same as judgement to them, regardless of how you saw it or what you were trying to do. It could have gone either way. You could have been more sensitive to their diet and feelings, or they could have just understood that you're concerned for their general health and only want what's best for them, and they should know what works for them and let it slide. I know what I eat isn't always the cleanest most best thing for me out there, but no major stalls, bodyfat% has dropped every month (not BMI, but DEXA scanned), and each week when I step on the scale I see a lower number.

[DeniseM 238]

Denise, where did you get "judgment" from? Why is asking the question equal to judging? Why is saying "I am concerned for you" judging? Of that constitutes judging then I might as well not participate in these threads anymore. It seems like the only thing I could have/should have done is personally mail the person a McDonald's gift card and tell them to have the next one on me!

I didn't say that you were judging anyone, I said that I (meaning myself) try not to judge other people based on the choices they make that are not choices I would make. I also did not say that being concerned for someone is judging them.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

[Contemporary man] is blind to the fact that, with all his rationality and efficiency, he is possessed by "powers" that are beyond his control. His gods and demons have not disappeared at all; they have merely got new names. They keep him on the run with restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications, an insatiable need for pills, alcohol, tobacco, food – and, above all, a large array of neuroses. (Jung, 1964:82).