I need Advice!

[wannabaloser 59]

I am a future Mexico self pay sleever.

I was originally scheduled for March 9th but had to reschedule. I got extremely sick and the doctor's could not find anything wrong. I did not want to go through surgery not knowing why I was hurting and sick. I rescheduled my surgery for July 27th.

In the meantime I started thinking and worrying more and more about my daughter's weight. She is 14 and been overweight for 2 years. She is 5`3 and weighs 248. She has tried to diet and exercise but has a very hard time losing weight. The doctors can't find anything to stop her from losing medically.

She is starting a new school, in a new city this year after going to the same school her whole life. She is terrified of being made fun of. I also don't want her to deal with all the side effects of being overweight. I know I don't have to list the side effects on here, just think of your own personal experiences.

About a month ago I contacted my doctor, Dr. Garcia, and sent him her medical info. He accepted her for surgery even though she is very young. I changed our dates to August 10th, paid her deposit, and booked the flights for us.

Now, I am having second thoughts. I am terrified of taking my young daughter to another country for surgery. I don't know if I am being pro-active and stopping this before it gets out of hand or letting her give up on losing weight on her own. Then I start thinking that her life has barely started and I am forever altering her. My mind is just racing with thoughts.

She is very excited about the surgery though.

I need some advice from people who have had surgery, from parents, or anyone else who wants to respond.

[chris54 106]

Wow this is a big one. She is just 14 even adults struggle with the psych part of this procedure. It's more than just weight loss. I know according to my plan u have to see a shrink before surgery. I think u might want to rethink surgery for her now. U get it done and u both change your eating habits and take her to a shrink so she can get help figuring out why the behavior. If u don't figure that out you will just transfer addictions. I always say emotional decisions made usually r bad ones. Good luck

[Rox 200]

What does your daughter say?? I know girls mature faster than boys, but it's your fear of your daughter's treatment at the new school that's driving you. You need to go to a counselor with her. This is a big thing for an adult to wrap my head around. If you want it for you that's fine.

[Nursebarbie 392]

I wish my Mom would have done that for me at 14. Go for it!

[BKLYNgal87 503]

This is a very weighty (for lack of a better word) decision. You need to be honest with yourself from the get-go. Your daughter at 5'3" and 246 lbs is not overweight. She is morbidly obese. If she doesn't make serious diet and exercise changes, she is at great risk of developing serious illnesses at a younger age (heart disease, diabetes, to name a few). A drastic change is needed but at her age and development, surgery may not be it right now. There are diet plans run by clinics especially for children and teenagers. I think it will be easier for her to implement these changes once you've had your surgery. You can be her motivator.

If you're strongly leaning toward surgery and after extensive trial and effort dieting doesn't work then ask yourself:

First off - does her primary care doctor have any thoughts as to whether she has finished her bone growth? What is his or her opinion on obesity surgery on a teenager? It is very important to get at least one or two medical opinions from doctors and not just your surgeon. He has financial incentive to approve her.

Second - do you think she is mature enough to handle surgery and the life altering changes she'd have to make and stick to? I know I couldn't have done it at 14, though I wish I hadn't gone through high school and college obese. People can be cruel and they certainly were to me in high school, less so in college.

Bottom line is both regular diet and exercise and surgery diet and exercise are difficult and require ongoing compliance and dedication. It's a lifelong change. We can never eat what most people normally eat. We always need to take our Vitamins. We can't be lazy. Both avenues require emotional stability. At 14, I just don't think most teenagers are mentally up to the challenge. There is no rush, you and your daughter should take more time to consider all the options. Teenagers love to make impulsive decisions, and this choice would be a bad one to make impulsively.

I wish you and your daughter all the best.

[Daydra 345]

14. That must be an horribly difficult decision for you to have to make for your daughter. It sounds like you really want the best for her, and I totally admire that. I would be really concerned about her maturity not being ready to have wls surgery. For me, personally, from about age 17 to age 21, hanging out with my friends and drinking, eating poorly, and various other immature things were a big part of my life. If I had had wls before that point in my life, I would have ruined myself because having fun was more important than taking care of myself. I was on Phen-fen about this time and I couldn't or wouldn't make the necessary decisions to follow my doctors instructions and ended up gaining back all the weight and then some over a short period of time. At about 24 or so, I looked into gastric bypass. There were a lot of reasons I ultimately chose not to get it done, but the biggest thing that I realize now, was that I was not emotionally ready and wasn't ready to make the lifestyle changes necessary to be successful long term. I've now made most of the other changes in my life that will now allow me to be successful, I've recently developed triathlon as a hobby, so I'm far more active than I used to be, I've changed my eating philosophy to a much cleaner diet, where 10 years ago, I was still perfectly willing to eat fast food and other garbage. She's got a lot of teenage years and early 20's ahead of her, and that age group simply isn't known for making a lot of responsible decisions.

I'm not a parent, and I'm certainly not your daughter and don't have any way to assess whether she could be ready or not, but if I were to base this decision from my own life experiences, I wouldn't do it. In your role as parent, I would probably try to work really hard to provide the healthiest food possible and try to get her into therapy to see if there is an underlying emotional/psychological reason that she finds it so difficult to lose weight.

Best of luck to you and your daughter. I hope that whatever decision you make works out well for you both.

[wannabaloser 59]

She wants the surgery very badly.

I explain the details daily. I also made her download this board on her phone and she has to read posts everyday on it. She is made to keep a food journal and use myfitnesspal.

She knows the good, bad, and ugly. She knows she will change alot of things with the surgery and she says she is okay with that. Of course, we all say we are ready, even adults, but its different when its over and done with.

Our insurance doesn't cover this so we are self pay and don't have to go for a psych evaluation. We have found other kids who did it at her age.

One of the Doctors in Mexico even did a 12 year old. And they all seem to be doing great.

[pantala 125]

I think you are right to help your daughter now before the situation gets worse - it sounds like there is a true metabolic situation for her. Dr. Alvarez sleeved his niece when she was 14 - teens recover much quicker and will not have the years of physical and mental damage adults have had. Let us know how things turn out!

[wannabaloser 59]

Dr. Alverez's niece was actually 12, she is 14 or 15 now.

I am using Dr. Garcia but she is one of the big decisions I went ahead with surgery plans for my daughter.

My daughter is mature but all teenagers have their moments.

This is a very hard decision but its so hard seeing her about to go through the misery of being obese that I have gone through. What scares me is her doing through her already hard teenage years. I did not become overweight until I was 22 and went through a severe depression. I couldn't imagine dealing with all this as a teenager.

[joseph 40]

Im 17 years old, I have done this surgery at 15 and half, I would say give your daughter few more years, and then let her consider it.

[chris54 106]

It sounds u hve made up your mind so why did u ask? The bigger question is if u had to take her to a psych what would his eval b? I would think u would want to know. At 14 she is going to tell u what u want to hear, come on mom, your conscious is telling already it may not b a good idea. Good luck to I bpth

[No game 14,437]

I really think that 14 is way to young for so many reasons. I'm saddened just by reading this and I am disappointed he okayed her.

Please put her I'm counseling first and what does your primary doctor say about this??

[Tink22-sleeve 528]

Listen to the teenager who posted above.

[MGLAW142 10]

I am a future Mexico self pay sleever.

I was originally scheduled for March 9th but had to reschedule. I got extremely sick and the doctor's could not find anything wrong. I did not want to go through surgery not knowing why I was hurting and sick. I rescheduled my surgery for July 27th.

In the meantime I started thinking and worrying more and more about my daughter's weight. She is 14 and been overweight for 2 years. She is 5`3 and weighs 248. She has tried to diet and exercise but has a very hard time losing weight. The doctors can't find anything to stop her from losing medically.

She is starting a new school' date=' in a new city this year after going to the same school her whole life. She is terrified of being made fun of. I also don't want her to deal with all the side effects of being overweight. I know I don't have to list the side effects on here, just think of your own personal experiences.

About a month ago I contacted my doctor, Dr. Garcia, and sent him her medical info. He accepted her for surgery even though she is very young. I changed our dates to August 10th, paid her deposit, and booked the flights for us.

Now, I am having second thoughts. I am terrified of taking my young daughter to another country for surgery. I don't know if I am being pro-active and stopping this before it gets out of hand or letting her give up on losing weight on her own. Then I start thinking that her life has barely started and I am forever altering her. My mind is just racing with thoughts.

She is very excited about the surgery though.

I need some advice from people who have had surgery, from parents, or anyone else who wants to respond.[/quote']

If you want to look up ( vertical sleeve 12 year old ) o. YouTube and there are some wonderful success stories and interviews from some of those little girls. Just though it might help

[My3lovies 25]

It really sounds like you have your mind made up to do it. If you have the money to self pay I think you should try to do counseling and weight loss regimens for your daughter to teach her nutrition eating habits ex cerise along with the counseling. I am a mother of 2 children and a nurse it is a constant struggle to keep them from being obese with my and my husbands family most being overweight but I feel 14 is to young so many years of different experiences coming up I think you should reevaluate after all avenues are exhausted and when she is at least 19.Best of luck to you and yours!