My review - 3 later! Sorry, it's a bit long!

[coops 1,790]

Not sure if this is the right place for this... didn't really want to post in the 'success' thread cos I am saving my goal post for their!

Anyhoo... yep! It's just over three years since I had my sleeve and it really has been a roller coaster ride.

Just a little pre sleeve background; fat kid - mother was and still is to a degree a 'feeder'! Nothing sinister in it, she just loves to see people enjoy food and goodies! As a teenager. although looking back I wasn't really that big, I had a really twisted sense of self image and thought I was disgusting. At 16 I started dieting and basically cut back drastically on calories with little affect! Just made me tired. Still unhappy with my body I joined different slimming clubs and over the next 10 years spent a lot of money with no results. In this time however, I was fit. I used to do a lot of sport; swimming, aerobics, steps, gym, a little running, squash, tennis... the list goes on and I loved it. Looking back I was not big and I was not fat... I was just young and very naive; wanting to look like my skinny friends who were 5-6 inches taller than me and completely different body shape!

At 28 I was preggas with my first - my beautiful daughter (we share the same birthday!) who is now 15. Gained a lot of weight and didn't lose any of it. 2 years later preggas again with my beautiful son who is now 13; same story, gained and never lost. So there I was 30 and morbidly obese I can't even describe how unhappy I was and how much I hated myself. I tried all the slimming clubs again, and had no success which really did get me to a real low place. Throughout this time, I focused on being mam. It seemed the only way to get through the feeling of self loathing was to focus on these two precious people and it worked to a degree. However, the down side was that I lost all sense of me.

Fast forward to 2009, I started researching WLS because I knew it was the only way that I would get healthy and fit again. I knew I had to pay for it because to get it on the NHS (here in the UK) it was virtually impossible at the time. Once my job became permanent, I knew I could get a loan and get the surgery. I attended a few WLS seminars and learnt about the sleeve (I originally wanted the band) and knew it was the one for me. I wanted something permanent, like I was giving myself a new commitment.

Weighing 238lbs I was admitted, signed all the papers and was prepped for the surgery the following morning, that was Friday 2nd July 2010. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared. I just wanted to start my new life and get 'me' back. The op went well and I stayed in for 5 days - the surgeon wanted clear drains. I am glad I did too, because the first 48 hours were long and a little painful.

The first 6mths I had a steady weight loss, with many stalls. But I was making good progress and generally pleased. I started exercising and feeling good about myself; I was getting stronger and started to like what I saw. My weight loss slowed down considerable and I went down the route of comparing myself to other sleevers in the same time frame - mistake! (Newbie alert - do not do this - it is a pointless exercise as we are all very different and our body reacts differently!) I found my self in a really dark place that was similar to the one I used to go to when I was a young girl. I did continue to lose weight, albeit slowly until Oct 2011! The it all stopped and I have been bouncing around the same weight since then.

I set myself loads of mini goals and targets and never made any of them! That was a kick in the d**k too! I had this image that on my 40th birthday I would be this beautiful slim woman, wearing a killer black dress and knock out heels - nah! I was still obese! And I was gutted.

I would read posts on here that said ' I farted and lost 100lbs' (ok, slight exaggeration, but you get my drift) and think to myself, I wish I could fart that hard! But I couldn't, so I didn't and I just kept plodding along.

My problem was that I had entered early menopause - confirmed when I was 39 and I had started taking HRT. That did one on my system and completely halted my weight loss. I stopped and started different types and didn't get on with any of them. Currently I am not on any medication and I am pretty much 'playing it by ear'!

After the 8mth mark I really upped my exercise and I started going to my son's boxing gym... my goodness me! What a fantastic work out and I really did reap the rewards; not through the scales but physically and mentally. I loved it. I went religiously for a long time - until I had a back injury that stopped me in my tracks. I went to physio and slowly it got better. However, I never really went back to exercising at the same capacity because I was scared that my back would go again. I didn't want to relive that kind of pain and I couldn't afford time off work. I took to walking and some light jogging instead.

Fast forward to today... I still haven't got to my surgeon's goal; I am just 9lbs away and I am I am 24 lbs away from my personal goal (BMI of 24 - not sure that will ever happen). However, I have not experienced a regain and I've maintained this weight since Oct 2011 (with a 2-4 lb 'bounce) - in that time I have dropped two dress sizes - funny how the body works eh? I honeslty believe that I have not regained because I never met goal and this has kept me on my toes and I remain accountable. I never take my sleeve for granted and I am very aware of what, when and why I eat. That doesn't mean I don't eat junk! I do, but rarely. Nothing is 'off limits' to me, I just make choices. The only thing I can't really tolerate is fizzy pop - I can physically drink it, but I hate the gassy feeling and the bloated feeling it gives me, so I stay away.

I am now 3 mths post TT and with the apron gone and some minor muscle repair and I am starting to feel good about myself and this body that holds me. I have started going to Curves and am I feeling the benefit - this is my way back to the boxing gym. My aim is to, with my TT surgeon's permission, get there by Sept/Oct this year. I am also following the 5:2 diet and it seems to be working as I have broken my 'set point' of 164 lbs and am currently sat at 163! Ok, it is only a pound, but after so long of not seeing any movement I feel like a new woman...lol! I am hopefully that I can at least get to my surgeon's goal and possibly even break through that?

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to put the whole picture out there - although, I am sure I have missed a lot!

I suppose the main thing I wanted to get across is that it doesn't really matter what the scale reads! Even today I am medically obese - and although I hate that label it doesn't drive me mad anymore. I am fit and healthy and that is way more important. I have turned my life around and added 20 years to it; 20 quality years at that. I have started to accept 'me' and for the first time in a long time I quite like Coops; she's alright!

I will continue my Quest to get to goal... I refuse to give up on myself and I now realise that I am worth the effort! As cliched as it sounds but it really is a journey. And one that will never really end...

I will find some before and after pics and update them later!

[NoneYa 380]

Thank you! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story!

[clk 3,519]

coops, you are my personal hero, no joke!

Twenty one months at the same weight - when we regularly see people fly into a panic at the thought of more than two weeks at the same weight. Truly, you have come so very far and have accomplished so much in the past three years.

I'm thankful for your post and the opportunity to learn more of your background. It has not been an easy journey for you but maintaining alone for those 21 months is more than many people manage to do! Not taking your sleeve for granted is truly a wonderful piece of advice; many on the vet board can attest that there comes a time when it shifts the majority of the work of maintaining over to us.

You've done great on 5:2 lady, and deserve this success. I hope to see you surpass your surgeon's goal and close in on your personal goal over the coming months.

You look fantastic and are an inspiration to anyone struggling here on the boards.

Stay awesome, friend!

~Cheri

[swizzly 901]

coops, you're the Woman. You are my hero, always will be. Sorry, you must stay on your pedestal. :-)

[lsereno 2,525]

Coops!

Congrats on 21 months of no regain! I've loved sharing the journey with you.

I'm hoping the 5:2 will be the silver bullet for you. Either way, I'm with you: I like Coops!

Lynda

[coops 1,790]

thank you for your lovely comments... I really don't deserve the title 'hero' although, I quite like it! lol

the last three years really have been a learning curve! And I am sure I will continue to learn, like so many of us vets.

I will have a look for pics, try to find 'the one' my hubby took om July 2nd 2010 as we left the house for the hospital! I have posted it before... so some of you would have seen it. I really don't recognise the woman looking back at me, and to a degree I feel sorry for her, even though at the time there was no sympathy in sight!

One thing is for sure though... this forum has helped me so much, I really have met a lot of decent people on here who have cheered me on and cheered me up when I needed it the most!

You know who you are , and I thank you x

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Congratulations on all the success you have seen over the last three years! (even though it may not have looked like it at the time)

[UK Cathy 977]

Thanks for sharing the whole story and you are remarkable for sitting out the long 'stall'. It won't be ltoo long before you are posting in the success forum.

[M2G 1,836]

Coops my dear friend! Thank you first and foremost for your friendship. I can honestly say that you are one of the biggest reasons that I have stayed here (VST) because of our friendship. You know we are sleeve sisters not because we share a sleeve date or anything but because of the way we have bonded over our struggles and triumphs!

And there will be many many many more triumphs to come!!

Congrats on staying the course and not regaining weight. I love your spirit and your diligence, it has served you well. Someday one of us will cross the pond and finally have that cuppa!

[AmyInOrlando 348]

Thanks for sharing your story. You're an inspiration to those of us that are still waiting to have the surgery. I'm looking forward to posting my first Post-op experience. I have surgery in 9 days, so it won't be long.

[coops 1,790]

Coops my dear friend! Thank you first and foremost for your friendship. I can honestly say that you are one of the biggest reasons that I have stayed here (VST) because of our friendship. You know we are sleeve sisters not because we share a sleeve date or anything but because of the way we have bonded over our struggles and triumphs!

And there will be many many many more triumphs to come!!

Congrats on staying the course and not regaining weight. I love your spirit and your diligence, it has served you well. Someday one of us will cross the pond and finally have that cuppa!

M2G - if it wasn't for you cheering me on, I think I might of given up by now - seriously, you really are a true friend. And yea, one day we'll have that cuppa!

You know everything you've written is the same from my point of view too - you've shown the same determination and diligence. Thank you for being a great pal! x

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Just got back from a long trip and have not been able to check in on what's going on with everyone.

Coops I am so pleased to here that you have come to loving who Coops is! You are totally awesome and I really appreciate your sharing.

Tomorrow I get on the scale and I'm really nervous to see it. But I will.

You ROCk girl!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Thanks for sharing your story! and thanks for staying here. It gets really old when you connect with someone for a long time and then all of a sudden, they disappear.

We need you here! Sure living with the sleeve is easier by now, but it shows that the struggles of obesity never end.

[leeann71 539]

Coops

What a very true role model and inspiration you are! I am losing slow as well, if it were not for you and the rest of the 5:2 gang I would be so down on myself as to why I have not accomplished my goal by now. So I want to say thank you to and all the gang, you all are the reasons I come back to read the forums.

[Puja 148]

Coops! You're amazing! Your posts have always been inspirational, and continue to be so. Congratulations to you for your continued enthusiasm and hard work!!

Um.. and major points for the farting and losing 100 pounds bit. I had to cough up the Water I accidentally swallowed down the wrong tube while reading it, but it was so worth it!