How hard is it not to feel jaded?

[Reigo 111]

So having been there and done that with the bright eyed bushy tailed (or honeymoon syndrome) and now realizing what the real constant struggle is, how hard is it not to be jaded here? Most people posting are newly sleeved and are so fresh and eager with the easier road still being travelled. While its great that their outlook is positive, it must get a bit difficult to read all these types of posts. Just curious when the rose tinted glasses came off for you?

I am only 7 weeks out and realize I. Am facing an uphill battle for life. Wanted the solution but realize I only got a calculator! Still up to me to solve the problem...

[atelux17 135]

Yeah I'm much more afraid of the Maintenance phase. If I ever get there. I'm down a 100lbs. 20 to go. I can't believe How much I can eat now at eight months versus five months out. Are used to struggle through 3 ounces now I can probably eat 6 to 8 ounces if really hungry. I try to measure when I'm at home but can't when I'm out.

[Reigo 111]

Yeah I'm much more afraid of the Maintenance phase. If I ever get there. I'm down a 100lbs. 20 to go. I can't believe How much I can eat now at eight months versus five months out. Are used to struggle through 3 ounces now I can probably eat 6 to 8 ounces if really hungry. I try to measure when I'm at home but can't when I'm out.

So what scares me is I am 7 weeks out and can eat 6-8 ounces easily! Big congrats on 100 pounds gone!

[M2G 1,836]

So having been there and done that with the bright eyed bushy tailed (or honeymoon syndrome) and now realizing what the real constant struggle is, how hard is it not to be jaded here? Most people posting are newly sleeved and are so fresh and eager with the easier road still being travelled. While its great that their outlook is positive, it must get a bit difficult to read all these types of posts. Just curious when the rose tinted glasses came off for you?

I am only 7 weeks out and realize I. Am facing an uphill battle for life. Wanted the solution but realize I only got a calculator! Still up to me to solve the problem...

Well, in all honesty, I hope that NO ONE ever told you "this will solve all your problems" because that just isn't the truth. Everyone says (and repeats) this is just a tool. And yep, here I am getting close to 3 years later and guess what? I still have to weigh and measure my food, I still have to be ON my game, or some weight can slip back on.

So on one hand sure it can be frustrating sometimes to have to remain diligent. I did NOT get skinny from this surgery and did not pick to be in maintenance when my body decided to quit losing. But I have made peace with being where I am. (I am battling a bit of a regain +15lbs which I AM refusing to accept and will continue to battle until it's gone) but I have made peace with the fact that I will not have a "normal" BMI. I'm okay with that.

On the other hand, this is ONE piece of the big puzzle. Why did I eat, when did I eat, and what did I eat pre-surgery? And because of having surgery and dealing with some of the issues around my own eating puzzle, I'm forever grateful for having this surgery. Would I have ever been able to lose -85lbs and KEEP IT OFF for 2 years? Nope. Not this girl. I would have already gained it all back by now.

So the answer to the question is the rose colored glasses are MY CHOICE and how I want my journey to be. I've learned that there is NO finish line, there is no DONE and now I just get to eat whatever I want and not gain weight. So I've accepted that this is MY battle MY cross to bear and I refuse to accept defeat. Attitude counts...it's really all up to you and it always has been. The surgery is the tool to help you, not do it for you.

[Supersweetums 1,164]

That is great reply M2G!

I have to say at no point have I ever regretted getting this surgery done. Like M2G said, I would have never been able to maintain this weight loss if it wasn't for the sleeve. And I would have never gotten to the weight I got to either. I have never been this weight in my adult life, and honestly I may have been 12 or 13 when I weighed this amount, if I am lucky!

Yes, I have to be diligent and yes I have to watch what I eat. But in reality, there are very few people on this planet that can truly eat whatever they want and not gain weight. Of course it is not without struggles, and I think everyone needs to go into this surgery with their eyes wide open.

I love The World According to Eggface, and her quote that is my favorite is "WLS is not a do-over (repeat the same mistake, get the same outcome). WLS is a do-better (make lasting changes that you can live with for a lifetime)

I happily wear my rose colored glasses still because without them and my sleeve, I could not have accomplished anything!

[tntransplant06 20]

My two cents....it's work. I've failed. I don't know how to get back into the swing. I'm 2.5 years out. Lost 76 lbs. Still have 100 to go. I've been to therapy. I'm just.....well....idk. I wish I did. I eat 1800 calories a day, sometimes 1600, sometimes 2000. I know the key is in dropping lower but I just can't seem to do it. It's mental. A big mental game that I just cannot win. Not wanting anybody to feel sorry for me, just wanted to say that it's not "easy". Does it matter that I've been fat since the day I was born? I think so. Add thyroid issues. Add having to work twice as hard to lose weight bc of the damn metabolism issues and you have a recipe for quitting when you're not seeing results like you should. This is work. HARD work. You won't always get your payoff. What can you do? Keep working. Try not to say never. Realize you may never be at goal but work DAMNED HARD not to go upwards.

[Reigo 111]

Great responses and perspective.

My topic actually was more about feeling jaded as a "vet" and listening (reading) all the honeymoon posts and realizing that it's not all roses and sunshine but listening to others who can't believe how the weight is just melting off them. And not really about how you feel about your sleeve journey. More just wondering if the inundation of newbie posts get old.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Well, in all honesty, I hope that NO ONE ever told you "this will solve all your problems" because that just isn't the truth. Everyone says (and repeats) this is just a tool. And yep, here I am getting close to 3 years later and guess what? I still have to weigh and measure my food, I still have to be ON my game, or some weight can slip back on.

So on one hand sure it can be frustrating sometimes to have to remain diligent. I did NOT get skinny from this surgery and did not pick to be in maintenance when my body decided to quit losing. But I have made peace with being where I am. (I am battling a bit of a regain +15lbs which I AM refusing to accept and will continue to battle until it's gone) but I have made peace with the fact that I will not have a "normal" BMI. I'm okay with that.

On the other hand, this is ONE piece of the big puzzle. Why did I eat, when did I eat, and what did I eat pre-surgery? And because of having surgery and dealing with some of the issues around my own eating puzzle, I'm forever grateful for having this surgery. Would I have ever been able to lose -85lbs and KEEP IT OFF for 2 years? Nope. Not this girl. I would have already gained it all back by now.

So the answer to the question is the rose colored glasses are MY CHOICE and how I want my journey to be. I've learned that there is NO finish line, there is no DONE and now I just get to eat whatever I want and not gain weight. So I've accepted that this is MY battle MY cross to bear and I refuse to accept defeat. Attitude counts...it's really all up to you and it always has been. The surgery is the tool to help you, not do it for you.

ABSOLUTELY, brilliant post!!! I'm three years and 1 month out. I've been maintaining for 2.5 years. I'm still bright eyed and bushy tailed....every day IS STILL a new day for me. I've never lost weight, kept it off, been thin, some times the smallest girl in the room. It's all new and I'm still excited as all get out!!!

I have boughts of paranoia, where I'm scared I'll wake up 25 lbs heavier with that ravenous hunger we all experienced when we had a full, fledged tummy.....but a doctor recently told me "A little paranoia is good". I'm running with that, I'm not crazy after all!!! Like you said, I still weigh and / or measure my food. I weigh myself every morning, I log it all on my fitness pal. This is my new life, as natural to me as breathing.

I know me. There is no doubt in my mind, that I could still gain fifteen pounds in a month if I don't stay on top of things, I also know losing fifteen pounds is NOT as easy as gaining it. This was not a quick fix, but it beats the hell out of popping pills or counting points with WW's - only to gain it all back as soon as I go back to 'real life'. As of right now, today, I am successful. Tomorrow is a new day. Time will tell but I do know, this is a life long commitment, not a magic bullet. The doctor did his job, the rest is up to me. Attitude, you bet, a good attitude, "my glass is half full" is necessary!!

[No game 14,437]

Great responses and perspective.

My topic actually was more about feeling jaded as a "vet" and listening (reading) all the honeymoon posts and realizing that it's not all roses and sunshine but listening to others who can't believe how the weight is just melting off them. And not really about how you feel about your sleeve journey. More just wondering if the inundation of newbie posts get old.

There will be "newbies" everyday all day some will stay and become vets others will leave long before then... As far as reading and answering the same things everyday?? Meh.. Some compel you to answer some don't...

As for honeymoon and weight melting off that's not every newbies experience either. So bothersome? No..

But it is nice to have the vets forum because its supposed to be just for the vets and not newbies asking newbie type questions..

[Supersweetums 1,164]

Great responses and perspective.

My topic actually was more about feeling jaded as a "vet" and listening (reading) all the honeymoon posts and realizing that it's not all roses and sunshine but listening to others who can't believe how the weight is just melting off them. And not really about how you feel about your sleeve journey. More just wondering if the inundation of newbie posts get old.

I'll be honest, most of the time I don't even read them anymore. It is very repetitive and lots of the same stuff over and over again. And most of the time, the ones I do read, I am always concerned because so many people are looking for a magic answer, and the sleeve is not that.

[Reigo 111]

Sorry for posting here as a newbie. I was just curious how you feel seeing the same types of posts over and over but you have experience long term.

[NtvTxn 1,262]

You don't have to apologize for posting. It's was a honest question.....not a big deal. Good luck to you and hang in there, you're just getting started. It's fun, really!

[clk 3,519]

Sometimes we start to explode like a volcano and post mean things in the rants and raves forum that get shut down. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

It's a matter of balance. I want to be here to help, but I also want to benefit from being here. I can't benefit or focus on the good if I allow the rest of it to frustrate me. So I dodge a lot of posts, roll my eyes safely from the other side of my computer screen on others and vent to my husband about how people really should research and read before undergoing major surgery.

So I keep from becoming even more jaded (too late, in my case) by not even visiting particular boards when they're venturing into annoying or aggravating territory.

Nothing is more infuriating (okay, too strong a word but it conveys my point) than someone six weeks out lecturing another sleever on how they must be doing something wrong since they've lost "X" pounds in six weeks and the other person is experiencing a perfectly normal weight loss hiccup.

I always want to post about how they don't really know anything and aren't really helping. But that's not nice and I'm making a concerted effort to be nicer.

I hope people can tell.

I'm certainly not criticizing your post. Maybe you can take something from here to help yourself as a vet later on.

There's a reason we needed a vet forum. There's a reason you'll only find a handful of people regularly posting that are more than a year out, and even fewer more than two years out.

It's incredibly difficult to be here and be supportive for the long run when 1) many people that post don't actually want answers or honesty; they want validation and 2) a number of people only post to complain or vent or ask advice, never to support or help other people.

The reality is that for some people the loss is EASY. But maintenance is hard for everyone, I think. There's a lot more to this process than shedding pounds. I often wonder how well some of those folks that flew to goal and then never came back are really doing in maintenance. I'm skeptical that many of them have continued to maintain. It's easy to be optimistic when weight comes off effortlessly. But these are the same people that panic and take over the boards with countless STALL!! threads the second they hit a hiccup. They're not mentally prepared for this to actually take WORK. And boy, it does take work. It's not something that ends, it's not something that goes away and it's not a freaking magic solution to just slice out your stomach.

Just my opinion. I've got lots of those and I'm not so great at keeping them to myself.

~Cheri

[No game 14,437]

Sometimes we start to explode like a volcano and post mean things in the rants and raves forum that get shut down. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

~Cheri

Hehehehe....

[Supersweetums 1,164]

Just my opinion. I've got lots of those and I'm not so great at keeping them to myself.

~Cheri

I always love your opinion!! And the people that don't are the people that just don't want to hear the answers!

And OP, don't worry about the post, I think it is a very valid question, in both ways that it was answered!