8wks post-op, down 33lbs but hubby hasnt noticed!

[zenandnow 514]

Ok Ladies (and men too!) I need some advice, opinions, etc. Although validation from friends & co-workers is nice, it kinda makes me uncomfortable. What I'd really like to hear is some feedback from my hubby, but after losing 33 lbs he hasn't said a word! No 'you look good' or 'I can tell you've lost weight' . Nuthin'. Nada. He's never been big on the compliments to begin with, but c'mon! I'm 6 lbs away from Onderland, and I haven't been there in 15 years! We've been married for 19 years, and he is supportive of everything I do, every crazy diet, fast, exercise program, whatever. BUT, he just never SAYS anything!

It's getting kind of frustrating, I want a little validation from the one person who knows me best and from whom I am not self-conscious about getting feedback. I'm starting to feel like maybe my loss isn't even noticeable. Maybe I have to lose waaaaay more before it can be seen. But other people have commented, so I don't know. Very confusing.

Any suggestions?

[No game 14,437]

Two things...

Sometimes if someone sees us everyday it may be so gradual that its not noticeable right away.

You should talk to him about your feelings he has no way to know how you feel unless you tell him

Oh, off subject what support group did you go to?

Was it good Sam?

[zenandnow 514]

Two things...

Sometimes if someone sees us everyday it may be so gradual that its not noticeable right away.

You should talk to him about your feelings he has no way to know how you feel unless you tell him

Oh' date=' off subject what support group did you go to?

Was it good Sam?[/quote']

Thanks Laura-ven. I think I'm just struggling with how to start the conversation without it sounding like I'm fishing for compliments. Normally I'm pretty low maintenance, but this is the first time I've actually lost weight with any hope of achieving and maintaining my goal, so it's exciting & scary all at once. It would be nice to have some validation.

An no - I didn't go to the Good Sam group; that's the one I've been to in the past & it wasn't what I was looking for. Another poster suggested one in Alameda, so I may try that. I was hoping there would be one closer to me, but still looking!

[No game 14,437]

Just tell him point blank! Sometimes you have to break out the 2 by 4 with a husband!

I really just opened up and giving a 100% honesty straight forward approach with my husband since starting this. That way he knows everything I'm my mind and can truly support me

I went to the Good Sam one last week for the first time last Tuesday..

There is also one in Saratoga that I'm going to check out soon.

They are going to have a Stanford Doc talking about regain. I'll let you know how that one is.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

My husband doesn't say anything to me about stuff like this.... I have to drag it out of him, and then I'm like really, and then I let him know how it affects me. He's like hummmmm? They are clueless when it comes to this....So I am very forward and direct with him and my children which really bothers them a lot.....But I'm am ok with that, how else will they learn.....I love my man, he is extremely intelligent with a very high IQ, but lacks IQ in most areas.....go figure. So that's where we come in and fill that void for them....where would they be with out us women! Sorry guys, I know that not all you guys fit into this category. I know Fiddle doesn't from his postings...

[zenandnow 514]

Just tell him point blank! Sometimes you have to break out the 2 by 4 with a husband!

I really just opened up and giving a 100% honesty straight forward approach with my husband since starting this. That way he knows everything I'm my mind and can truly support me

I went to the Good Sam one last week for the first time last Tuesday..

There is also one in Saratoga that I'm going to check out soon.

They are going to have a Stanford Doc talking about regain. I'll let you know how that one is.

What's the info on the Saratoga one? That's super close to me, I wouldn't mind checking it out.

What did you think of the Good Sam one? I've been to it 3 times. My surgeon was Cirangle. Curious to hear what you thought.

[No game 14,437]

What's the info on the Saratoga one? That's super close to me' date=' I wouldn't mind checking it out.

What did you think of the Good Sam one? I've been to it 3 times. My surgeon was Cirangle. Curious to hear what you thought.[/quote']

Hey I'm in Los Gatos! We must be close

The good Sam one was ok... But it took the whole meeting to just go around the table for intros and the it was dominated by just a couple of people.. Oh and lots of pre sleeved

Been there did that!

I did tell them I would come back on to the next one, so I'll try it one more time.

I'll try and get the info in the Saratoga one to you.

Another member ( lsereno) is the one who invited me.

I know they are run by the same people.

[No game 14,437]

My husband doesn't say anything to me about stuff like this.... I have to drag it out of him' date=' and then I'm like really, and then I let him know how it affects me. He's like hummmmm? They are clueless when it comes to this....So I am very forward and direct with him and my children which really bothers them a lot.....But I'm am ok with that, how else will they learn.....I love my man, he is extremely intelligent with a very high IQ, but lacks IQ in most areas.....go figure. So that's where we come in and fill that void for them....where would they be with out us women! Sorry guys, I know that not all you guys fit into this category. I know Fiddle doesn't from his postings... [/quote']

I think we might be married to the same man!

[No game 14,437]

http://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/Images/ADA-06-Support%20Groups%20-%20Where%20they%20are_tcm28-532134.pdf

Just found this!

It's for kaiser patients but its all of the support groups in the area for everyone scroll down to Saratoga

The next Saratoga one is August 7th

[zenandnow 514]

My husband doesn't say anything to me about stuff like this.... I have to drag it out of him' date=' and then I'm like really, and then I let him know how it affects me. He's like hummmmm? They are clueless when it comes to this....So I am very forward and direct with him and my children which really bothers them a lot.....But I'm am ok with that, how else will they learn.....I love my man, he is extremely intelligent with a very high IQ, but lacks IQ in most areas.....go figure. So that's where we come in and fill that void for them....where would they be with out us women! Sorry guys, I know that not all you guys fit into this category. I know Fiddle doesn't from his postings... [/quote']

I think you & Laura-ven are right. Blunt is the way to go. My hubby is a smart guy but usually clueless to anything like this. Guess I'll just have to spell it out!

[zenandnow 514]

http://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/Images/ADA-06-Support%20Groups%20-%20Where%20they%20are_tcm28-532134.pdf

Just found this!

It's for kaiser patients but its all of the support groups in the area for everyone scroll down to Saratoga

Perfect, thanks Laura-ven! I'm going to try this one & see how it is. Wednesday works for me now since I'm working out on Tues/Thurs with my trainer, so good timing. Thanks for the info!!

[No game 14,437]

Perfect' date=' thanks Laura-ven! I'm going to try this one & see how it is. Wednesday works for me now since I'm working out on Tues/Thurs with my trainer, so good timing. Thanks for the info!![/quote']

Cool I might see you there I told lsereno I'd go with her to that one to hear the weight gain speaker..

[zenandnow 514]

Cool I might see you there I told lsereno I'd go with her to that one to hear the weight gain speaker..

Great! Looking forward to meeting you both! Thanks again

[sharonintx 1,275]

My husband hasn't said a word. I don't think he notices. The only thing he notices is that my plate is still nearly full when I take it in the kitchen..

He and my boys say the same darn thing nearly every day.

"Hey - are you gonna eat that?" I say nope. Then the leftover food disappears. They were all evidently starving before surgery because I ate all my food and all they saw was an empty plate.

I bet when I start spending money on a bunch of new clothes he will notice! Not the clothes mind you, but the money I'm spending on them:)

[zenandnow 514]

My husband hasn't said a word. I don't think he notices. The only thing he notices is that my plate is still nearly full when I take it in the kitchen..

He and my boys say the same darn thing nearly every day.

"Hey - are you gonna eat that?" I say nope. Then the leftover food disappears. They were all evidently starving before surgery because I ate all my food and all they saw was an empty plate.

I bet when I start spending money on a bunch of new clothes he will notice! Not the clothes mind you' date=' but the money I'm spending on them:)[/quote']

That's a bummer! I think my hubby notices, he just hasn't said anything. It's like when I get my hair done and TOTALLY change it. He won't say anything voluntarily, but if I ASK, he'll compliment it! I just wish that every once in a while it could be without prompting. Ah we'll, as the other ladies have said, men can be clueless. I should probably just stop wishing and be happy with what I have!