Steady losers ;-)

[nikki32 0]

ok nothing quite like off loading your life onto strangers and hope they know wtf to do.....

well to start story ,me and hubby went through big ordeal a long long time ago nearly two years when he said he didnt want this life anymore didnt love me same way etc etc etc ....i said i was leaving ....then on eleventh hour,him full of tears and blah blah he begged me to stay ...confused well no wonder took me a year to get over it then i caught him checking out stuff on computer like chat rooms ,escorts that sort of shite i was horrified and put us back again i was soooooooo down felt worthless fat ugly etc etc etc.

well we got over it said nothing happened other than flirting on net...

must confess im an awful flirt but only if i kind of find myself in a flirty situation i dont go looking for people to pump me up .

anyway he was booked to go to america (golfing)this morning and after he left for airport i was on comp and thought id check his email......yep he been chatting again felt totally shite phoned me and gave him ultimatum come home or thats it he phoned was really upset texted and called a hundred times apologising saying it just boy stuff he knowshewas prat blah blah ...never happen again ...blah blah...anyway he went:faint:i am a fool...

seems easy dump the shit head ...problem,,,,i have four sons 13,10 7 3

and i still love the dopey buggar but i feel so unimportant dispite his tears surely if i was that important the trip would have been last thing on his mind .the kids knew about the split that didnt happen and were heartbroken i cant do that again unless i mean it im scared to do it alone and deep down thats not what i want but fuck how will i ever feel good about myself again i would cry but ive gone numb....not good daft thing is ive never felt so good until today :help:

i must add as far as im aware he has never been unfaithful in any true sense but it feels the same to me :think

sorry for burdening you all

[wendy645 1]

nikki32- My advice is to go through with it. I know that being in a relationship like that, sometimes it's what you most desperately want to hear, but at the same time you hate to hear it, but coming from a childhood in a relationship like that, for the kids' sake, go through with it. I will always wish my parents would have just divorced already rather than staying together and being miserable and fighting.

It's hard, no doubt, but do you have any resources to get on your own? Family to stay with or a women's shelter with resources?

[beversman 0]

Holy restriction Batman! -- no time to read up on posts... (will come back and post laster) just a quick hello. I got a fill yesterday and it is kickin my butt! I haven't felt restriction like this since I got the band.

WOW. big difference a few tenths of a CC makes!

[VABandster 0]

Hey Gang!!!

Haven't checked in in a while, and so I thought I'd come and report in. But first of all....a BIG HUGS to all of you Bman, Nikki and Claud, who are all dealing w/some heavy stuff. I'm sooo with you on the Men Issues!!! The guy I'm going to CA with is so messed in the head! one minute telling me he loves me, the next telling me how he wants to date this other girl! UGH....things are going to have to get settled in CA b/c I just can't take the back and forth anymore!

NIKKI.....I say get rid of the guy! Even if he hasn't physically cheated on you, he's emotionally cheating on you and that's just as bad! Hang in there honey, we'll be here for you no matter what!!!

BMAN...do you realize you just lost a TON Of weight when that divorce went through?? About 100 someodd pounds of EX Husband! Now you can really start living your life for YOU!

So funny thing is my best friend is in town visiting so I gave her my room to sleep in and haven't been able to weigh myself every day like I usually do. Feel like I've been eating a ton, but finally stepped on the scale yesterday and it was down a few pounds!!?? I don't know what it is, but it seems like when I stop thinking about food so much and stop weighing myself....I LOSE! Its weird!

Congrats to BOO for being a Skinny Beyotch! You GO GIRL!!

Ok, will try to catch up on more later...gotta run!!

[beversman 0]

17.1 miles in one hour! Plus 1.2 miles earlier today

18.3 miles TOTAL!:whoo:

Then, 30 minutes of ab and weight work...

I might be starting a bike club through my weightloss clinic. The nurse practioner thought it would be great idea for me to start it when she saw how much I've been riding lately :-)

I also jogged one mile today and walked for an additional 10 minutes (with that little doggie of mine!)

--------------------------

Nikki -- your husband's name isnt Ashley by chance is it? I only ask because I had a husband like that. He came to America to be with me. The way you talk reminds me so much of him. He was from Acomb/York, England. He was a drain on my life. I think I still love and care about the person I thought he was...

Just as YOU love the person your husband pretends to be. NOT the person that really exists and is lying to you. The parts you don't know... THAT is who he is. No matter how much you forgive, if you never are allowed to know THAT part of him. He is going to continue to be a stranger. You love the person that you THOUGHT you knew. Not the person he has truly turned out to be.

That won't make it easy luv... but what he is doing is not right. and for every thing you've acutally caught him doing, I garuntee he has done other things that you are completely unaware... I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. My EX husband did the same thing to me. Then, one day he disappeared and I never saw him again. He took away my ability to choose and have control of my own life.

At least right now... YOU have the ability to make whatever happens YOUR choice. Dont let him make it for you.

VAband -- men are cruel... im gonna become a nun! good luck on your trip, i dont know if I would be taking it with a guy like that. May the force be with you! hahaha. Congrats on the weight loss! my scale and vary so much from morning to night... from day to day -- i cant hardly get excited about a number... i just have to watch "trends"

is the scale tending to stay at lower numbers than the week before?? Ugh I hate scales too. cant we take all men AND all scales and lock them in a closet?

[nikki32 0]

thanks for listening to my woes ,,dont know what il do ?

i wish i hadnt posted in a way because i feel like im humilating myself but i needed a friendly ear who not close to us or are situation .

15 years together is alot to give up and he was the man i loved up until 2 years ago now i dont know him ,i changed alot in that time too depression etc (i am not blaming myself i assure you )he is a pig and the most selfish person i know anyway i really dont know what il do:confused: hes phoning this morning so i guess i see how i feel after that ...im still numb didnt sleep much either ,should really hang in there for Tummy Tuck and boob job though ...lol he is good earner .

then i be ready to strut my thing when im free woman again .

aint life just a barrel of laughs sometimes

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

VA--I am so sorry hot, what a jerk! Blah...men suck.

Nikki--please don't feel ashamed, we are your friends really. We care about you and honestly want you to be happy. You deserve happiness. We all do! Do not feel bad at all sweetie! You are me exactly trust me I feel the same and say the same thing. Hugs.

Brandi--you rock it diva!

It is my 1 year bandiversary today, how should I Celebrate? ? I think 15 miles on the gym bike. Gotta keep up with Brandi of course! lol...

[VABandster 0]

BOO...HAPPY BANDIVERSARY!!!! You know....I was reading in the news yesterday that Star Jones is finally admitting she had the Gastric Bypass and one of the articles said something how how she "lost 160 pounds in 3 years"...well, look at you!!! You're down 120 in ONE YEAR! And you did it in a WAY more healthy way than she did!!! YOU ROCK GIRL!!! Congratulations!!!

BMAN...seriously!?? You are the EXERCISE QUEEN!!!! If I could exercise 1/2 as much as you do I'd probably be at goal weight by now! LOL Maybe I will torture myself when I get back from my trip from CA and need to distance myself from "the man".... that would be a great way for me to work out a broken heart (since I'm assuming that's whats gonna happen, although I suppose I could be shocked and surprised at a different outcome!).

NIK.....HUGS Honey.....please feel free to write whatever you want here..you know we'll all support you no matter what!! We've all had hard times deciding what to do about men in our lives! We've been there, done that...and know that it's not easy and sometimes you make the right choice, and some times you don't (at first!) But we're here for you!! Hang in there!!!

[StephC 0]

hi girls! First of all Happy Banversity Boo - I think you're wonderful and an inspiration to us all!

Bman - you go girl! I think it'd be great for you to start a bike club - too cool and a way to give back.

Va - have fun in CA and don't let him play games with you - lay the law down now, you are too wonderful for him to be having to choose between the 2 of you - have fun in Ca and then tell him to take a hike.

Nikki - ok I'm going against the flow here - I say stay with him. Get counciling - big time - but 4 little ones? I could say nothing else but to stay with him. I completely sympathize with you, been there done that shit - but truthfully it can be mended. My neice had an affair, got pg with his baby (her dh had been snipped) and she was very adament that she wanted a divorce, somehow through all of that her dh still loved her and being that the new baby was #5 (yes five) he wanted to keep the family together. Somehow they worked through it and have a great marriage. As for myself, I've said it before, we went through a few years of hell, and I was so torn as to what is worse raising my children in this environment or leaving him, well I stayed, and 10 years later my kids, who had actually wanted me to leave at the time, now say they are so glad I didn't. Our marriage is better now then its ever been, no he never hit me, no he never had an affair, but yes he was an asshole and we walked on egg shells around him, I think I hated him at the time and even now when I look back at those years I hate him for it, but he has always been a wonderful dad to his kids, and slowly he's become the husband I've always wanted. Sex is better now then ever (well maybe not when we were 20 and crazy in love) but now that we have this deep contented love its good. I know most of the others will disagree with me, but thats my story and you can only do what you think is best. Also get marriage counciling! My dh was willing and we had to go 2 or 3 different times, and we will go again if we ever need to. It really does help to have an unbiased person to help you work through it. I'll be praying for ya.

Ok - gotta go - first of the month is crazy here at work! Love ya girlfriends!!!

[StephC 0]

A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS

Some will always be prettier.

Some will always be smarter.

Some of their houses will be bigger.

Some will drive a better car.

Their children will do better in school.

And their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go,

and love you and your circumstances.

Think about it!

The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.

And the most highly favored

woman on your job may be unable to have children.

And the richest woman you know,

she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~~

might be lonely.

And the word says, "If I have not Love, I am nothing."

So, again, love you.

Love who you are.

Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,

"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed, to be

disappointed!"

"Winners make things happen~~

Losers let things happen."

Be "blessed" ladies~~~~~

[nikki32 0]

im smiling can you believe it and no it aint nothing to do with talking to hubby ,,,,i havent just reading your posts you are all so very special

va ....i hope your trip goes well and the result will be what you want if not enjoy the trip anyway you only live once

boo boo ...wow one year god you are a flipping star, can you even remember what it was like to carry all that weight ?

bman ...you are an excercise queen and you sweetie show the rest of us what we could have achieved by now ...lol you are amazing and deserving of every pound lost .

steph c ...i want to thank you for making me feel that it ok to want it to work (even if it doesnt )gonna have to be some big changes :Dil know soon enough if not looking good .

jillrn...my weight started shifting when i could eat more i think it fine line you need enough food so your body not think its starving and store it but not enough that you having too many cals hang in there

sweethot ..hi honey im sorry i havent been around but was nice to see you doing well ,you should be deciding when you want fill def be pushy if you need one ,im glad your hubby ok .

no matter what happens in our lifes we are winners we took on our most crippling of challenges and ladies we gonna rock and we dont need anyone else to feel great about that :clap2:

steph love your poem :kiss

[Banannie 0]

Ok, someone who will remain nameless messaged me and called me a punk for not posting more, so here I am!

This one'll be short but I promise to post more often...

BOO - happy Bandiversary girlie - you've rocked it in year #1 - just wait to see what the coming year brings!

Nikki - Give him one more shot w/ counseling, for the kids' sake, but then I'd personally say get rid of him - it's likely worse for the kids to see their parents unhappy as it would give them a bad example of what a healthy relationship is

Brandi - what can I say, you rock girl!

Shoot - gotta get ready for a meeting, gotta run, more later!

[VABandster 0]

STEPH....you are so inspirational!! Thank you for posting some positive thoughts today..I needed them!! Yes, i am planning on having a great time in CA next weekend, and then I will have a great memory but I will drop him so he can go see how 'wonderful' that other chick is before coming crawling back to me! lol

NIKKI....one of my coworkers was about to sign a lease to move out of her home and leave her husband yesterday, but decided otherwise and is going to counseling. She figures this way she can say she gave it her all and if it doesn't work, then she can still move out in 1, 2, 3, or 6 months from now knowing that she gave it everything....so maybe you should think about trying that, especially b/c of the kids? Just a thought.....

BNANNIe...welcome back

Now Where's NAT?? Anyone message her and tell her she's a punk for not posting??

[Banannie 0]

I chatted w/ Nat by e-mail, she's travelling for work - I'll call her a punk and see if it works

Kirsten - good luck w/ the guy - just like w/ Nikki - I'd say give him one more chance then kick him to the curb! You deserve the best, and if he's not giving you the respect you DESERVE, then he doesn't deserve your energy or time!

[beversman 0]

A little birdy told me that Nat may or may not have possibly been called a punk in a private message that I... (oops, i mean "somebody") may or may not have sent earlier today. hehehehehehe

PUNKS!!!

You better bring ur asses back in here... I am not above searchin' ur

punk butts out! HA!

I miss you when you're gone!