gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[UK Cathy 977]

{{HUGS}} Kim, pets are so precious to us aren't they. We had a cat put down early November 14 and we still miss her terrible. Her sister is still with us and she cries each night (for her sister we believe). Our dog is approx 13 now and as she has multiple allergies we don't think she will do the long life thing and we dread the day we have to make any decisions about her. So far she is just a bit arthritic. I'm an emotional eater too.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim,

I know how painful that is. My old lab mix is 13, his eyes are clear, his coat is nice but his arthritis is terrible. I have to put rugs on hard floors everywhere he walks or his hind end just does the splits. We have a tiny step from the deck to the lawn and he can barely make it. He weighs 100# so not like carrying him is an option. I feel a little resentment that he was the family dog, but like most other responsibilities, his end of life decision falls on me.

am sorry you are really going through this now.

I took Scott to my friend Tom's birthday party last night. I had bought my friend a small flowering shrub (blue snowball bush!) for his birthday which he was surprisingly delighted with. We were there to sit around the campfire so were outdoors anyway and Scott and my friend Tom immediately went to work planting that shrub. It was a great start. They are all bigger rednecks than i am so it was an evening of telling hunting, horse riding and power tool stories...ha! We had fun and the party moved indoors. Suzy fell asleep on my lap about 9 and i finally had to pipe up and break up the party since I start work so darn early... they have made plans to tan a freaking deer hide together and I am doing a girls night at the gun range at the end of the month. Scott loved it - everybody hit it off with him as he is our people!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Kim, I remember how hard it was when I took my little dog out and she wouldn't walk. She just laid  down and looked up at me. I felt so horrible.

 

I can't believe this thread has been going, and I didn't know it. I wasn't getting any notifications either.

 

I have one  more week to give myself antibiotics 3 times a day and then I get my picc line out one week.from today.

 

Now all the medical bills from my second surgery and all these infusions are coming to me and freaking  me out. My hospital bill from my 2nd surgery is over 25,000.00 I sure hope that lawyer can get my first surgeon to pay all these medical bills.

 

My weight really freaks me out. The scale says I have gained 5 lbs but I'm telling you, I have clothes I could wear many times at 140 and now they feel 2 sizes too small. It must be because I haven't been to the gym since my original surgery in Nov. I've lost muscle and apparently flab takes up more room.

 

I met this guy who is really nice, but has commitment issues. He has several fwb and wanted me to be one too. I told  him that's not how I operate. If I am going to have sex with someone, he better not be having sex with someone else. It's too bad, cause I really like  him. I met one of his fwb and I am taking her with me out dancing sat. night. I can't drink from my Hep C and I don't even want to drink while I am on these antibiotics, so I might as well be the designated driver.

 

I've been hanging out with him a little bit each day. Yesterday, I told him I wasn't going to anymore because he won't stop hitting on me. So he promised he wouldn't cause I just want to be friends, so he said he will respect that.  He's a very interesting person.

 

I know all of you know how I feel. I have 2 drawers of pants I can't wear and half a closet of clothes that are too tight across the belly. I just hate it. And 5 lbs should not be making my clothes fit that way.

 

I was wondering where else you guys like to post ? I need to get around the board more, but I don't want to read about newbie issues. I will be 6 years out next month and I've heard enough of "I can only get down 3 bites and I can't drink water"

 

The veterans forum sounds like most of us are in the same boat. Fighting regain.

Edited March 20, 2015 by Oregondaisy

[coops 1,790]

Hello all... yep! I've stopped getting notifications too...

 

Good to see Dee and Denise  - glad you both updated us.

 

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but thing here in not so sunny Wales are a little fraught and I am feeling a lot of stress, which I don't normally do; well not to this degree.

 

My main worry at the moment is my Mam... she really is very poorly.  She has a lump in the side of her tummy and is currently undergoing a range of scans and tests under the supervision of a surgeon.  He, and my GP,  have both warned us that they suspect  bowl cancer.  This, they also suspect, is the reason that she has stopped eating and lost a lot of weight... she is just 6 stone now - around 84lb.  She is so weak and frail - it is heart breaking to watch.  I am hoping that we will have a definitive diagnosis soon.  I need to know what we are dealing with; what we can do to help, if anything; and what treatment will be appropriate for her.  My Dad isn't coping too well, he got very emotional today, had a tear and told me he loved me, which he hasn't done for many years - not verbally anyway.  He doesn't 'need' to tell me, I know. 

I can't even describe how I feel at the moment... but I just have this innate fear of losing her and I really don't want to!  She is so important to me ( as all Mams are) and I am starting to feel a little scared.  What compounds the matter is that I am watching my friends grieve for their father and that too is wrenching at my heart.  Such sad times.

 

Sorry for the downer, but I know you lot will see where I am coming from.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Oh sweet Coops, I feel for you! You have my sympathy, sending you hugs!

In my first regain I gained 30 lbs and then lost 50 with a return to post-op eating and 5:2. Now this is my second regain and It is probably like 60 lbs, I've stopped weighing myself which is a bad sign. Even more disturbing is that the 60 lbs has happened in 9 months. And no, I'm not pregnant, lol. When I came back from Afghanistan I was a size 10 or even 8, now I wear 18 "mom jeans" and I feel like a sausage. It's heartwrenching. My GERD is worse than ever, I would like to get a pouch reduction.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Well, I am deciding to not complain because i am still under goal! It is just hard when you used to be skinnier! Except for one pair of jeans, all my clothes fit, but they looked better a few pounds lighter. I am so happy right now it doesn't matter too much, but like Denise i notice stuff that should fit loose don't because I am not working out. Good news is the physical therapy is working it's magic again and as soon as I am not working a zillion hours i can go back to kickboxing..woohoo!

I am 3 years and 3 months. I will turn 51 in June. Maintenance is getting harder. I am really spending energy on thinking positive about all that. I don't think i express often enough the plain ole joy I feel at the life i live now.

tonight I went dancing and some drunk asshole I danced with actually yelled out to one of the tables "Hey Dave, Jim - LOOK" and pointed at me as though I were a prize fish he'd reeled in. While it was a jerk thing to do , it did remind me that maybe I am OK at 155ish. (Scott is busy with his little girl for awhile and so I decided to go visit my old dancing friends that I haven't seen in awhile). Thank goodness my old regular dance partner showed up and we both noticed I am seriously rusty! Crap.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Coops... so sorry about your Mam.... My Ma had bowl problems near the end of her life. Scary to get surgery when your so small, my mom was pretty tall, and weighed around 105 lbs. Sending love and hugs to you and your family.

 

Well, tonight pretty late, my little dog started acting strance, disoriented and surprised... I picked her up and she was panicing.... she then pooped on me, threw up and urinated on me.... within a couple of minutes. It was clear that she was in pain, and something extra bad was going on with her. She lost much of her control over her hind legs, and has a bit of a head tilt. I drove her to the nearest 24 hour vet, it took me over 20 minutes to get there with her crying and making choking noises... so sad and horrible. The Vet asked questions... and thought probably she had liver function problems, and feared there was a deeper problem underneath, like perhaps a couple of strokes or a tumer of some kind. At her age, no surgery and even though I can hold open the hope that she will get better... its not likely... I had her put down, while holding her in my arms... little dear. She calmed down before we out the IV in her leg.... and fell asleep for a little bit from exostion... I just pet her and told her what a good girl she was until she was gone. I still can't believe it really... she is sitting in a little card board coffin on my table... I never had kids, and she has given me the chance to love and care for someone unconditinally, I really was her mom. If this doesnt make me want to eat, I don't know what will.

[UK Cathy 977]

Kim sorry for your loss, it doesn't matter if it is a person or pet if we gave and received unconditional love then it is a real loss. XXX

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Sounds like she had a massive stroke/brain aneuryism, so sorry Kim.

[coops 1,790]

Kim, so sorry to hear about your dog, they are our children... an extended part of our family.  Hugs to you my lovely.

 

And thanks Florinda for your kind words... xx

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Thank you all for your kind words. it means a lot to me.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Kim, I am so sorry

[swizzly 901]

Oh Kim. /sob/ Losing my baby boy dog last year was one of the things that was part of the Very Bad Stuff that effed me over. I am SO sorry.

Coops, I'm so sorry about your mom. :-(

It's just too much sometimes, no?

Denise, I hope your infection is cleared up after all this. Good god.

Sheryl, Scotts are good guys. I hope yours turns out to be good too.

Thanks for telling about all your regain stories. I think the truth of the matter is, I just have to get my $hit together again, nothing else for it. Good luck to that...

Much love to all. <3

(Yes, no notifications from this thread anymore, so I have to check in when I can to see what's new -- I used to get your updates in my emails.)

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I never did email notifications. I go to "content I follow" and can see all posts I have replied to and who/when latest update.

I am in rainy cold Atlanta. Weird weather that Seattle is nicer..Haha!

I am beside myself with glee these days. Things are just good!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

OK, wheres Georgia!? (and I don't mean Atlanta... )