gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I have to get back to fasting. Bill eats so late I told him I was going to start eating my main meal in the afternoon and only have a snack with him when he eats dinner. I can't be eating dinner at 8-9 pm like he likes to do. It's messing me completely up.

 

I wish Florinda would tell me where she is . It just seems so strange that she is close now instead of in a foreign country.

 

Bill and I are still having issues with sleep. I am just such a light sleeper, any little noise will wake me up. He still snores, but not as loud as he would without the cpap machine. I'm going to try to stuff to stuff my ears with cotton again. ear plugs fall out and don't do much anyway. The c pap machines are weird. They can be completely quiet, and then start hissing out of nowhere. I am sure the nose piece loses it's seal with his nose.

 

urrrgggg I just want to sleep in separate bedrooms.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am spending the night in the ICU with my mom. She started getting sick two days ago, and it turned out to be an intestinal blockage. Scar tissue from an old surgery strangled a part of her small intestine, and it died... they had to cut out 25 inches. She is off the respirator, and resting now, but at 84, she is not out of the woods yet. She is such a tiny little thing, I hope she can keep her weight on after this...

[UK Cathy 977]

FYE thinking of you and your mum.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Denise - I am not in Oregon yet, I am in NorCal, but I will be in Eugene on the 28th, as a pitstop on my way to Seattle, then I will return to Portland for a Drs appt 1 July.

FYE - I am SO sorry you are watching your Mother go through pain, it is a time for love, let your love transmit through you and into her <3

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Thank you guys. One day at a time. She is much better than she was. Still in ICU, but out of there soon at this rate. I'm there all night again tonight, I will catch up then.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I just got back from a wonderful girls weekend. I learned a very important lesson... very important. There is one thing to be grateful for having a lifetime of obesity which is I LOVE my body now even with it's imperfections, plastic surgery scars, too short of legs, too big of shoulders and ribcage etc etc. I am there with 3 friends - two of them are skinny as hell, late 40s and are too embarrassed to wear shorts because they aren't "perfect". they are very attractive and frankly TOO skinny for my tastes (no butts left) but see themselves as so flawed that the world must be spared from seeing them. They wear baggy ass jeans, dress like middle age moms (which they aren't - both childfree) and even in 85 and sunny weather won't wear shorts or a swimsuit. I, on the other hand, feel great about how I look and wear what I want because it is what I want. I don't actually care what others think...haha... because i think I look GREAT and the rest of you can just look away if you don't share that opinion..teehee.

I have the benefit perhaps of doing some dating and realizing that men in our age range think I am pretty okay looking too - and that we women are just WAY TOO HARD on ourselves. Anyway, it is hard to think of advantages of so many years of obesity, but my gratefulness over just being normal is one of them!

So sorry for the aging/sick parents - Kim it must be really scary. I went through all this some years ago. Frankly, I had about 10 years of so many people getting sick (and dying) and the drain and toll that took on me and my family was huge. I have so much empathy for those going through this very necessary part of life.

My weekend was magical and wonderful although my new/young horse went lame. Scary because i think she pulled a muscle which can be crippling for a horse. I hope she recovers. The countryside was beautiful, the company was wonderful and it was overall a great trip (in spite of an injured horse). I ate like a horse and yet came back weighing 141... right on target. My appetite is definately back!

My friend took "after" shots for me so hopefully I can finally make my before and after collage although she hasn't emailed them to me yet. I had a very peaceful and fun time with 3 women. It is a kind of companionship I crave and love.

My son is almost moved home from college. I love having him here but almost worry because I just finally got used to living alone. I am trying to NOT think about that it means I will have to go through that separation feeling again. Live for today and not borrow trouble from tomorrow... but it was so hard on me that it is hard to NOT think about going through it again when he moves out later.

Due to a lame horse, I had an afternoon all to myself to hike and quietly reflect on life in a very peaceful setting. I decided what to do about my "relationship" challenges and I am not going to like going through this either, but dammit, I am holding out for what I want for a change. It shouldn't be this hard, but I recognize that I have like zero tolerance for alot - and would rather have NO relationship than one that requires me to do all the compromising and bending my life to fit into his. I am just over that. I do want a man who is strong enough to stand up for himself too - don't get me wrong I am not looking for someone to do my bidding, but there must be someone where we just fit more comfortably. Tino might be that guy if it weren't for the teen daughters. I don't want to ask him to change that -but I don't want to get involved in someone else's family either - I already have one. I also hate that he mainly wants to see me week nights that just kills my sleep schedule and makes me miserable the next day due to too late of a night. And... the ED issues. Just too much. This is hard for me to do because I hate letting go of the good, but I need to get out before anyone gets hurt.

Interesting that the two ladies on my trip (both late 40s) are on the edge of leaving their spouses over essentially the same issues - just tired of being the one that always has to bend her life around what her mate wants. In my friend S's case it means he wants quality time of sitting on his ass watching TV and eating huge meals and she is hoping for a little more out of life.... Call it selfish or call it finally standing up for the life you want. (BTW, my comments have nothing to do with my ex of 15 years - our problems were not because he was that kind of guy, my comments are related to my more current situation).

The weather is beautiful here... many things to be very happy about.

[sarsar 824]

Thank you guys. One day at a time. She is much better than she was. Still in ICU, but out of there soon at this rate. I'm there all night again tonight, I will catch up then.

Thinking of you Kim! Hugs. I picture your mom in my mind and I bet she is just as adorable as you are!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

of course Im biased, but yes she is! Here is a pic of her as a teen....

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda don't know if you are willing to reach out...

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/311779-newly-diagnosed-multiple-sclerosis-sleever-are-there-any-others-i-need-your-advice/

Kim she is a beautiful woman. How is she today?

I am not fasting and maintaining at 141 this morning. I keep expecting to find those 10#I accidentally lost. I kinda like my current weight so hope it sticks but my life was great 10#heavier too.

So overly tired and alone after a lovely fun and social weekend is a setup for feeling like crap. Yesterday I felt it just a tiny bit...that empty feeling that is the precursor to anxiety. It was a beautiful day with so much to get done but instead I bought a size 4/27 pair of Levi shorts instead of the size8 that keep wanting to fall down, so it was a small thing I did to make myself feel better, like beingconsiderate of myself. Then I ate a healthy dinner even though I had zero appetite and went to bed early as I was exhausted. I feel good this morning. I hope I am learning to intervene in the cycle. Overwhelmed,tired and low blood sugar are the precursors to the bad feelings that start the anxiety cycle.

Side note...those were the smallest shorts in the misses section at Ross. I marveled noting there was a time I probably couldn't fit into the biggest shorts in the whole store. I do alot of my shopping in the junior section now, but their shorts are too short.

[sarsar 824]

So sad to hear about Dr. Aceves passing away. He did my surgery over 3 years ago and helped me become me again!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Posted plastics before and after collage if you are interested...

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/311834-my-plastics-before-and-afters/

Okay, so I got a Private message this morning that basically said "I am preop but read that you said that eating small portions helps you keep restriction. What advice would you give for me to keep restriction?"

I almost wrote back "eat small portions" but decided that sounded kind of patronizing so I threw in something about using smaller plates and utinsils or something. I guess when people are preop they are so overwhelmed but I found it a little humourous that somebody read and apparently understood my little tidbit of wisdom and yet asked me for advice. I feel like the deeper I am into this the less I know. I mean, I can barely even understand why I have gone through phases of alot of hunger and zero hunger so how the heck can I advise others?

[sarsar 824]

Kim I love the pic of your mom. Is she doing better?

Sheryl, the pics look great. It's absolutely amazing the difference. I don't have quite as much extra skin as you did in your bf pics. One thing I asked my surgeon to do was take pictures of the skin for me after it was removed. I want to see what it looks like.

I'm getting exciting about my surgery. I've been working like crazy getting my house cleaned and scrubbed from top to bottom knowing that I won't be able to clean like that for a while. Im getting a bit nervous about the fact that I know I'll have to up my calories while I'm recovering for healing and won't being working out. I'm afraid I'll gain weight. Obviously I won't be doing 5:2 for a while.

[BrownDoesAll 409]

Hey ladies Quick question.

When we drastically reduce the number of daily calories should we suplement with protien shakes to get weight loss? Reducing calories and increasing exercise helps with weight loss but we have to get a certain amount of protien to get weight loss too right?

[UK Cathy 977]

Personally I think yes, we need to keep the Protein up. The Protein Shake I have says only 98 cal but 20g of protein so it is not many calories to give up. Im sure that someone with more scientific knowledge will come along soon.

How is the play coming along?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

When I fast I don't worry about hitting full Protein targets but I eat very low carb on fasting days. I think as long as your weekly protein target is met you are fine. Body can only absorb so much per hour though so don't load up at once.